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pad
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06 Jan 2006, 5:52 pm

Anyone enjoy watching a particular stand- up comdian on television?

I love watching Chris Rock!

"Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four".

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to. :lol:

Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council. :lol:



Klytus
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06 Jan 2006, 6:41 pm

pad wrote:
"Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four".


Maybe it's because I'm slow, or maybe it's because I'm British, but I don't get that one. :?

Of course, 90% of four is not a whole number, but that doesn't explain it.



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06 Jan 2006, 6:45 pm

Klytus wrote:
pad wrote:
"Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four".


Maybe it's because I'm slow, or maybe it's because I'm British, but I don't get that one. :?

Of course, 90% of four is not a whole number, but that doesn't explain it.


When he says "final four" he's refering to college basketball. Which is quite popular in the states.

You're not slow by the way. You've asked a good question. Do you know anyone who you find amusing?



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07 Jan 2006, 9:38 am

pad wrote:
Do you know anyone who you find amusing?


I can appreciate stand-up, and I like good routines and jokes, but I tend to laugh out loud at comic actors rather than stand-ups.

There are some people who are just funny without having to tell jokes or do very much at all.
I like Laurel and Hardy a lot.
Also, I like the Carry On films. I don't know if they're well known in America. But some of those old Carry On actors had such character! People like Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey, Sid James, Hattie Jacques, Bernard Breslaw etc.
I like the Monty Python films too.
Oh yeah, and I like Homer Simpson as well.

I can appreciate a good joke though! There are some stand-ups who are real joke tellers. I think Steve Wright and Emo Phillips have lots of good jokes. Steve Wright is maybe too deadpan though, and Emo's delivery takes a bit of getting used to.

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
Emo Philips

"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face."
I said, "You'll be sorry."
He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?"
I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
Emo Philips

I told my wife she looks sexy with black fingernails. Now she thinks I slammed the car door on her hand on purpose.
Emo Philips

When I was a kid my parents used to tell me: "Emo, don't go near the cellar door!"
One day when they were away, I went to the door and opened it... and I saw birds and trees...
Emo Philips



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07 Jan 2006, 9:52 am

I don't have a favourite comedian.

Funnily enough someone asked me the same question yesterday at work.

They said: who is your favourite comedian?

I said: I don't have one.

They said: Who is it that really makes you laugh?

I said: Me!


Comedians are a bonus but I don't need them ~ sometimes I can't stop laughing for no apparent reason.

Sometimes even I don't know why I am laughing. :lol:



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07 Jan 2006, 5:05 pm

I'm currently rediscovering Bob Newhart.

I had forgotten about Steven Wright..."I'm at a bar and this girl comes up and says 'Did you know your socks don't match?', I said maybe not to you but I go by thickness."

And I love Monty Python. Hmmm, might be time for a showing of "Holy Grail".



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07 Jan 2006, 5:19 pm

My favorite stand-up comics include Dave Chapelle and George Carlin.... hmm.... I know there are many others that I like but those are the only two that are coming to mind right now


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07 Jan 2006, 6:20 pm

My fave is an observational comedian named Carl Barron. I like jokes on some of the simple things in life that most of us take for granted or wouldn't think twice about.

'Have you ever seen those signs by the road that say "Injured wildlife - ring this number"? Wouldn't that be a thing to see?

(mimics an injured animal with a phone) "Yeah I'm a possum... some d*ckhead ran me over!... Uh, grey and flat, what do ya reckon?... yeah, I'll wait here..." (mimics an animal lying on the road)'
Carl Barron

'My mates like to tell me when they fart. They get all excited, like it's important. "Geez I gotta fart"... "Not here, d*ckhead, there's no windows!"... Or they tell ya after they did it... "Hehehe, I just farted..." But noone ever tells you WHILE they fart... that'd be really weird, like "I'm farting... (laughter)... still going..."
Carl Barron


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07 Jan 2006, 6:37 pm

Ellen Degeneris, and (in no order) Wayne Brady, Colin Mockery (sp?) and Ryal Styles of Whose Line are up there in my estimation.

Anybody watch last comic standing? I got to meet a guy from that, Gary Gulman, last year at my school. I was laughing so hard tears were coming out.



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08 Jan 2006, 12:44 am

AbominableSnoCone wrote:
My favorite stand-up comics include Dave Chapelle and George Carlin.... hmm.... I know there are many others that I like but those are the only two that are coming to mind right now
+

Oh yes, these are also two very funny people. George Carlin did an HBO series a few months back entitled "Life is Worth Losing" I'm pretty sure. What an Incredibly truthful but slightly twisted humor he has. Dave Chappelle has a very laid back presence when addressing his audience. But he's very funny especially his show "The Chappelle Show". "I'm Rick James b***h line always cracks me up!



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08 Jan 2006, 8:19 am

um, I'd have to say Bill Hicks would be my all time favorite.

Quote:
The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it, you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question, is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "Hey - don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride... And we... kill those people. Ha ha, "Shut him up. We have a lot invested in this ride. Shut him up. Look at my furrows of worry. Look at my big bank account and my family. This just has to be real." It's just a ride. But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok. Jesus murdered; Martin Luther King murdered; Malcolm X murdered; Gandhi murdered; John Lennon murdered; Reagan ... wounded.

----

The worst kind of non-smokers are the ones that come up to you and cough. That's pretty f***ing cruel isn't it? Do you go up to cripples and dance too?

- Bill Hicks


more http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Bill_Hicks here.

Other than that: Stephen Wright, George Carlin, Janeane Garofalo.


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09 Jan 2006, 12:22 am

Denis Leary


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09 Jan 2006, 12:02 pm

animefreak wrote:
Denis Leary


doesn't this guy work for comedy central or something?



Seanybaby
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09 Jan 2006, 2:27 pm

Robin Williams is my all time favorite. Can't really quote from him too well though; he's way too fast! 8O



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09 Jan 2006, 2:34 pm

Seanybaby wrote:
Robin Williams is my all time favorite. Can't really quote from him too well though; he's way too fast! 8O


I thought he was hilarious playing as Mrs. Doubtfire.



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10 Jan 2006, 5:54 am

Dead: Andy Kaufman
Alive: Shaun Micallef