Swearing and writing offensive words/notes

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Lana
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20 Apr 2009, 8:03 pm

Help please! My 8 yr old son was diagnosed with Asperger about 18mths ago. He loves to write and draw, he spends a great deal of his spare time doing this. Lately one of my biggest concerns is bad words. He does swear which is a concern, but the things he is writing are much more disturbing and I don't know to deal with this. I have tried talking to him and explaining that I don't want him to write these words but it hasn't helped and it is now happening a lot more. He even got into huge trouble at school as he got mad with a teacher and wrote on the back of his homework sheet "F.. you Mrs ....." I am tearing my hair out. Can anyone give me some advice please?



cognito
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20 Apr 2009, 9:01 pm

he is just writing what he thinks, like most of us, we lack the ablitly to filter thoughts and words.


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20 Apr 2009, 9:04 pm

Maybe his teacher is a cow and derserves it?

Anyway, kids swear as much as those around them. Look closer to home.



DW_a_mom
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20 Apr 2009, 10:05 pm

I would start from entertaining the possibility that your son most likely does not really understand what he is saying. Ask where he learned the word and why he uses it, and what he thinks it means. Odds are, he only has a limited inkling of the power in the word, and uses it because he's heard it from others, and thinks it's cool. He may also enjoy the outrage he gets from adults, but not really connect why it exists, thus mostly finding our offense to be an overreaction.

I've had a lot of success getting my son to stop using such terms simply by explaining to him the common meanings. AS kids are very literal, and once your son realizes that he just suggested a sexual act towards his teacher he most likely will be highly embarassed, and much more careful about repeating swear words he hears on the street. My son now takes no chances, and never repeats a word he's heard without researching it.

When he's older he may use the terms to rebel. But at this age most often its ignorance.


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ster
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21 Apr 2009, 5:16 am

if all else fails, have him talk to the school counselor.....does he receive time in school to work on social skills ?



jenny8675309
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21 Apr 2009, 6:21 am

He may be venting his anger/frustration about something. My son was writing stories at school about inappropriate things, and it turned out he was being picked on at school but forgot to tell me or the teacher.



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21 Apr 2009, 5:05 pm

jenny8675309 wrote:
He may be venting his anger/frustration about something. My son was writing stories at school about inappropriate things, and it turned out he was being picked on at school but forgot to tell me or the teacher.


I used to do that becuase when I did tell my parents or teacher they never took it seriously. They told me it was probably my fault or that I was being a tattletail. I suppose if I was raperd and told the poilce they would accuse me of being a tattletail or that it was my fault.


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Lana
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22 Apr 2009, 7:08 am

Thanks all for your feedback. I feel sure he is venting his anger and frustrations on paper. No he gets no social skills time in school and yes, he claims to be being bullied but the school say it isn't happening and lately he has started not telling anyone. Meeting at school next week and I will be trying to address these issues.



DW_a_mom
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22 Apr 2009, 2:27 pm

Did you see the For Better or For Worse cartoon for today? The mom is getting on her son's case for using bad words and he shouts back that it's no fair that adults get to use those same words AND adults get to know what they MEAN ;)


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24 Apr 2009, 9:48 pm

swaring is sooo common these days I wouldnt worry about it kids see and copy what they hear all the time just ignore it. Aspies are especially prone to doing this and the more you talk to them about it the more he will think it is funny or not really understand. From personal experience he will grow out of it when I was a teen I would rudely say to my mum "is that alright with you b***h" she just ignored it and gave me no reaction had she it would have lasted longer now we look back it as funny.