What Are Your Coping Strategies?

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I do this as well, or just fiddle with something in my pockets (e.g. receipts, button, hairclip).
Last time I went to see my psych. I let myself just play with an origami star (usually I try not to do things like this, 'cause some people get offended by it), and my psych. said I appeared a lot more relaxed (though Ii didn't notice it myself).
Perhaps when playing with something you automatically look more relaxed to other people.

Sometimes when I feel like making an effort I'll start asking people questions.
E.g. so, what school do you go to? What do you want to study? Where do you want to study? Have you been there before? Do you want to stay in this country forever? What country would you want to go to?
And it keeps the conversation going, until I run out of my list of questions:p


When walking, I always have one hand holding the strap of my bag and the other in my pocket (holding an object e.g. ipod, hairclip etc.).
Sometimes when I feel uncomfortable, I pretend I'm carrying something very important in my bag (e.g. a special micro chip, bomb, or documents) and I can't act suspicious or I'll get busted (in other words, I have to be relaxed, calm and cool). It helps me get where I need to be and it makes it more fun 'cause I love acting.

When my head gets pressured, or right after a meltdown type situation, when possible, I eat a fruitcup.
Something about the softness of it helps calm me down.
I also like just sitting under my bedspread, where it's dark and warm or just being completely curled up with the bed spread pulled up all the way. Sometimes I'll turn the heater on for extra warmth (which my mum thinks is crazy:p)


I think my biggest social coping strategy is to smile.
People like smiling people. At least when they don't know you well enough yet.
Sometimes that (plus the asking questions thing) gives out the wrong signal though and I have guys confessing their eternal love for me after just three weeks. Grrrr.

I'm still working on mine.

As a rule, I try to restrain my reactions/actions until I have time to process what I'm inclined to do. I can be pretty histrionic if I just did the first thing that popped into my head.

I used to apologize profusely in conversations. I think I did this as a coping strategy. I wonder if I felt that somehow, by admitting I had some conversational deficiencies, people would give me more leeway.

My then-girlfriend (now wife) called me on it eventually, though, and said, "Why do you apologize so much?" I'm better at this now.

I still have to be careful when describing one of my special interests, though. It's really hard to not assume that everyone else will immediately know what you are talking about, especially if you are bringing forward an entirely new concept of looking at an area of your expertise. Until you explain it in a lot of detail with tons of examples, most people just look at you like you have two heads.

I learned earlier in private school not to reveal who I really was or I was in trouble with everyone. This has cost me a lot of chances to have friends and a real inter action with family. I keep it all in and when I can not I have to hide behind the need to take a nap. That is my way to unwind.

clear boundaries, intensity modulation, avoid discussing anything important, avoid acting needy, make your exit as soon as you can