Adults with AS, how do you find eye-contact?
I have always had a hard time making eye contact. It makes me uncomfortable at the best of times, especially with my own family. As a child I could get away with it. I was a shy quiet girl but now I’m just considered rude if I don’t make eye contact.
Now I tend to look at people’s noses or mouth’s. This works to a degree and helps with the uncomfortable feeling I get.
It comes from the emotional connections that happens on eye contact. You get the emotions of your opposite as they get yours too especially once you focus the point between the eyes or a little bit higher. Some hints for this that may help you a bit:
- Try to think good about the one that you are starting eye contact with and try to keep a good mood. He or she gets your emotions towards them as soon as you do it.
- Skip it if you dislike people. The emotion mirroring of NTs causes them to get your emotions and to dislike you too.
- Skip it towards guys except you are talking to them and do really liking them.
- Don't focus on just one eye. Check every two seconds the other eye to. That prevents you from staring.
Wished I could look into your eyes because I bet you are really great...
_________________
I am as I am. Life has to be an adventure!
It comes from the emotional connections that happens on eye contact. You get the emotions of your opposite as they get yours too especially once you focus the point between the eyes or a little bit higher. Some hints for this that may help you a bit:
- Try to think good about the one that you are starting eye contact with and try to keep a good mood. He or she gets your emotions towards them as soon as you do it.
- Skip it if you dislike people. The emotion mirroring of NTs causes them to get your emotions and to dislike you too.
- Skip it towards guys except you are talking to them and do really liking them.
- Don't focus on just one eye. Check every two seconds the other eye to. That prevents you from staring.
Wished I could look into your eyes because I bet you are really great...
likes this advise : but coming from a different background, it had taken me along time to get , what you have written of here , and yes around siblings
it was much easier . These rules of nt interaction can bedifficult to navigate.
_________________
Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
I had to figure it out myself. Wasn't even two years ago. Wished I had known all of this much earlier. But at least I'm better at this now.
_________________
I am as I am. Life has to be an adventure!
Eye contact .. was hard for me as i got forcible better by being struck when young ie : very little
was told i had to look at their faces when spoken to. after so much being hit as a tyke you look at the eyes or forehead initially and that seemed to satisfy the need for you, to look them in the eyes.
later felt like maybe learned / that looking into peoples eyes could tell you alot . especially if used in a angry or tense situation. ..
its a trained thing ,, if your subject to lotsa violence growing up , it could tell you when to get away from a person. early on ... looking at the eyes was quite daunting but if you seperate the eyes from the rest of the person you are watching, it could be done , but then you dont hear any convo , you just focus on the eyes ,, which is self defeating. it was rather like staring at a cloud or a inamimate object.
usually when younger associated eye contact with bad things. Later on subconciously could get info from casual eye contact , and body language .
lt hadtaken more years that i care to say to undo some of the things that were beat into me as a child. Usually in my family , i guess your not suppose to smile when you made face / eye contact. That was a bad one.. At least now , i just dont care .. those days are long behind me.
_________________
Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
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