The POSITIVE THREAD, LET'S EMBRACE THE AUTISM SPECTRUM!

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Afternoon everyone from the UK. Bit miserable weather wise at the moment! No change there then

I recently posted a thread on the Parents Forum regarding my amazing children, I have 5 all diagnosed and myself too. My son is a savant guitarist, he only picked it up less than a year ago and is incredible. I am a very fortunate proud mum. All my children are amazing, sure they have given me many headaches and worries over the years but also happiness, laughter and huge admiration for their differences. I have another son who is a World Champion Gig Rower diagnosed too.

I see so much misery, fear and overwhelming confusion associated with the spectrum and I can understand why with so little understanding of it. But ya know guys, it aint rocket science, we are just DIFFERENT. Not disordered, disabled or deficient...............but different. What struck me from my previous thread is how good people felt seeing it, so I thought I would hi light it here to. Not that I am trying to promote my children but want you to see how great the spectrum can and is provided you know what to do! There is a method, nothing expensive or difficult, just easy and gentle. Here maybe you can see the results of some of these methods.

I am not mad, a little crazy with a few (oh go on, then lots!) of eccentricities. But I am sane and I am REAL. So are my kids. They feel and hurt the same as anyone, it's just that they don't always know it!
To understand the spectrum you have to EMBRACE it with all its colours. Some vibrant and some a bit glaring I will admit but nevertheless beautiful.

Every child that is born on the spectrum is born sparkly and beautiful. It is the mud that the rest of us throw at them that takes away the sheen and potential. Society pours weed killer on us when actually we are actually sunflowers, not dandlions.....there is a subtle difference. We even pour weed killer on EACH OTHER! Ugggg, how ridiculous is that! So please everyone can we take pride in ourselves. Can we promote the spectrum as an amazing place to be provided we know what we are dealing with?

For me the world would be a much duller place without us! Sorry to brag but in our world here we liken our selves to jelibeans. Crisp shells with a squidgy inside, different shapes, flavours and colours. No one is like any other! Some we love and some we Mmmmm don't like as much and end up spitting out. But we all have a place on this earth so why can't we all share it nicely?

Every jelibean needs polishing and keeping safe. Every single jelibean needs nurturing, encouraging and praising. What we don't need is sob stories, pity or the negatives. We all have a story to tell, many of them sad, mine is no exception. For me life has not been easy just like many of you reading this. I am a single mum on benefits living in the UK with 5 children on the spectrum. I have had run in's with Doctors, professionals and my relationships have not been great either. I have had to fight every step of the way for my kids and where did it get me? Ummm, not very far to be honest. I have fought in the courts (and won!), I have sued, threatened and screamed ..................where did it get me? Known as a gobby mother who was 'trouble'. Actually my protestations were making matters worse!! Child Protection even got involved at one stage.................mother flagging up issues must be mad or bad! Uggggg. So yes I am battle weary and scarred BUT now I am thriving and so are my kids!! How??

I decided that there was only one person that could help my kids.............ME
There was only one person who could make a difference..............................ME

So instead of LOOKING for support that wasn't there and is stilL NOT THERE, instead of sitting back expecting society to do me a favour (why I have no clue!) I decided to learn about the spectrum. So for the last few years I have been picking it to pieces, studying my children (sometimes like lab rats!! not literally!) and working out for MYSELF what to do to help them best. Luckily for me I teamed up with a Neurotypical who adores the spectrum. Together we have come up with lots of ways to help, easy TIPS and hints that are FREE.

And I am so proud of my kids and the ways in which we have been able to help them, I wanted this to be a POSITIVE thread. It is a scary process being 'DIAGNOSED' for many. Yet actually it is liberating!

I hate the word DIAGNOSIS, because by that we imply we are ILL? Noooooo! There actually is nothing wrong with us at all!! We are just DIFFERENT. But the differences are all the same!! Different behaviour, different living styles (I can always tell when I walk into a jellybeans house!), different thought processes, different stances and gaits, differences that are sometimes so subtle it is difficult to spot. Does that make sense. I laugh my socks off when talking to other spectrumites!! We do do the daftest of things! Nice to know we are not alone.

So for me I just want to give those who are not as well aquainted with the spectrum a hint of what it is like. It is NOT ALL BAD!! We may be different but many of us are clever little bunnies with fantastic brains that many neurotypicals would be envious of! So what are the positives and where are all these shining examples of jelibeans?? You don't have to look far to see them all. From the Nobel Winning Scientists to the diligent, accurate shelf stackers in your local supermarket, from the loudmouth mate of yours to the crazy husband of another friend! they are there. All with their own special interests and passions. If we didn't have them the world would be so boring! Don't you think?

We do have a great future, we contribute much to society and have skills and gifts that can't be bought or learnt. So please don't be scared, just learn about the spectrum and love it just like we do. My son wouldn't be able to play the guitar the way he does without his Aspergers Syndrome...............and my other son wouldn't be a qualified chef without his creativity that his Autism brings, then there is my other son who is a world champion rower, persevering in his special interest has brought its rewards, a gold medal. My daughter is a whizz with figures and has a great job, her ADHD drives her and gives her the charisma needed to sell! My youngest son? Awwww, he is an expert on mobile phones, the old fashioned trainspotter But I think he despite his DAMP will become a policeman, he loves the sirens and the cars!

But THEY ARE ALL amazing, handling them sometimes can be tricky!! But hey life would be unbearable without them. Teach a jellybean anything and they will pick it up provided it is delivered by someone gentle, kind and understanding. This is my guitarist Rock God son interviewed at the iconic Marshall Amplificiation Theatre, the youngest ever. Listen to how a 14yr old comes out and says that his Aspergers makes him who he is today and how now he can communicate his feelings through the guitar! Scroll down and you will see a direct link for it. How proud am I!!

http://www.jelibean.com/ladder/index.ph ... &Itemid=59
And here is some of his music, remember he has only been playing 11months!! Honestly! Mindless Shredding!!
http://www.youtube.com/user/sparklijelibean

So don't be glum, be uplifted, positive and hopeful for the future because if you are then your children and those around you will be too. The sky is the limit for us on the spectrum, let's be hopeful for the future not bleak. I am not wanting to hi light my kids specifically, this thread is for you to showcase your or your childrens talents and gifts, to tell your postive stories so that newbies and those scared can come here and feel better. Thank you for wading through this post. I hope the thread continues with tons more positive stories. We have to help ourselves as much as we can, by doing that we can help each other!

Over to the rest of you! I hope! I hope this thread has made you feel better. My kids are autistic and they are also my oxygen. I couldn't possibly be without them nor would I ever want to be. EVER.




www.jelibean.com/

Yeah, it's wonderful being an autistic parent with autistic kids you deeply love.

Unless you're a heterosexual male.

Or disphobic John Best clone. Or a 'crystal child'.

Other than that it's okay.

Positive thread and of course we have to have a cryptic comment!

So you are a heterosexual male? So what? You comment above I am an autistic parent, are you?
Give up whinging for goodness sake, or go find another thread to be negative or cryptic on? This is for positive stories PLEASE. If you have any issue with me or my opinions please either take it to PM or the appropriate thread. Thanks

That's fantastic! Good for your son. I would certainly suggest that he work with a professional musician to take lessons and
get beyond rock and blues if he wants to because he certainly has a lot of potential. Rock and blues guitarists are a dime a
dozon but if he works with his gift to do something that most guitarists can't (like play jazz or bluegrass) then he could really
stand out from the pack and make a career out of it. Music theory is really a necessity as well. There are lots of music he
could buy to teach himself that.. I bought a big jazz theory book. YMMV, as always.

Best wishes to you all.

I'm currently embracing myself. It's just not the same as hugging my mother.

I'm disordered, but it doesn't mean I'm inferior compared to someone who has no diagnosable condition, nor am I superior. I just have some disabilities and abilities compared to the other 499 people I stand next to; the former is more common, for the simple reason that I'm 1 person next to the other 499 who don't have said disabilities. The latter would be more common if society was based on rote-memory and putting square blocks in square holes, but it's not.

Pride is something that annoys me, and thankfully, it's an emotion I don't feel.

Hey now... I'm a heterosexual male. If my 9-month old ends up being autistic, I will love him regardless.

I agree with the original poster--AS/AD have nothing to be ashamed of, feel inadequate about, etc. I'd rather be in a room full of "my folks" than of NTs any day of the week....then again, I do happen to be an Aspy!

Seriously, though...one thing that saddens/bothers the heck out of me are AS/AD folks who clearly harbor hatefulness and resentment towards NT's, regard them as stupid and inferior, etc. For heaven's sake--"they" can't "help it" any more than we can "help it!" Not to mention the fact that such thinking really is inaccurate (to put it politely) and counterproductive to improving one's quality of life.

We were dealt the cards that we've been dealt with...so hate the game, not the players!

Yes I do have difficulties with certain things but atleast there's never a dull moment!
I personally don't see it as a good or bad thing, it's just there and I just have to deal with it. And I don't have that snobishness or NT hate that I've seen people on this site have, I think it's stupid, yeah there's nothing wrong with being happy with who you are but it doesn't make you superior! or inferior, of course.

I love having AS. Other teens will talk to their friends, but I focus on what were doing. I also have a good memory of things which is important. I also feel like I am more mature than all of my other peers, even though I am isolated a little it gives me more time to observe than talk. I also have been learning about social skills and will probably ask my friend if I can observe her to see why people don't like her. I love feeling weird, I actually take that as a compliment because everyones weird. This is because no one is normal and everyone is strange in their own little way.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Jelibean, for your positive outlook on your life and your kids' lives. You said what I have been feeling for some time now. I am an aspie mom with one NT daughter and one AS daughter, and an NT husband. I absolutely love the "aspie-ness" in our household. It is so comforting to be in a space with another person who thinks as differently as I do. My AS daughter and I have a blast together and do a lot of laughing at the things we come up with during our times together. I absolutely love the NTs in our household too. They keep me learning about the majority of people in the world that we all have to deal with everyday. They allow me to ask them all the things I would love to ask everyone else if it were socially acceptable. Not that long ago, I was driving behind a pick-up truck whose back window was covered with a huge sign that read "Cure autism now!". My first thought was "Why?". I don't care to be "cured", nor would I ever want to change my AS daughter. I don't like not fitting in with others sometimes, but most of the time I'm glad I don't. The best bumper sticker I've seen says "celebrate neurodiversity" and I think that is exactly what we all should do. The spectrum can be a beautiful place, as can the NT world. You just have to figure out for yourself how to view each. I agree that an AS diagnosis is not all doom and gloom, with pity parties and self-hatred. There are things about myself that I could improve, and some things that I may want to improve but can't. But overall, I don't want to be any other way than how I am now. Different does not equal bad or wrong. Different can be beautiful. My AS daughter is different from the "norm", and my NT daughter is different from me, and both are BEAUTIFUL people.