gina-ghettoprincess
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Joined: 8 Nov 2008
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,669
Location: The Town That Time Forgot (UK)
12 May 2009, 3:13 pm
cubedemon6073 wrote:
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I agree with this, too. But my mother expects respect without giving any in return every day of the year.
Does your mother believe in the bible? If she does then she is not supposed to provoke a child to anger.
I'm not sure if she believes in the bible anymore, actually. But she doesn't ever think she's doing anything wrong, and if I point out something she is doing wrong she accuses me of blaming her for MY faults.
Does your mother believe in the bible? If she does then she is not supposed to provoke a child to anger.
I'm not sure if she believes in the bible anymore, actually. But she doesn't ever think she's doing anything wrong, and if I point out something she is doing wrong she accuses me of blaming her for MY faults.
Ah the ole blame game. Please read this Gina on my blog. http://cubedemon.blogspot.com/2009/04/v ... alues.html Basically you're Actor A and you're mother is Actor B. I've seen this scenario go down here many times as well. When Actor B, in this case your mother is saying "don't blame me for your faults" the truth is she knows she may be at fault but she uses an excellent value of self-responsbility to shift the blame indirectly back onto you. Most people do not want to admit they're wrong and apparently it's become offensive these days to challenge certain accusations in the direct way which is blaming. Gina, will you be willing to try an experiment? Do the same thing back to your mom. If she accuses you of wrong doing and you are pretty sure you didn't do it or if she makes you something that you can't do then accuse of her of being selfish and thinking of her own needs and wants when she tries this stuff with you. If you do this, will you please report the results.
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2007: I didn't have any money so I just made a card in the shape of a heart, but Mum was kind of pissy with me all day because I hadn't bought her something. And she says I'M an ungrateful b***h. 
I have questions on this.
1. First, you're 13 years old where does she expect you to get the money for the mother's day present from? Are the child labor laws different there than here so you can work to get the money for your mother's present? Ask your mother where she expects you to get the money?
I was 11 at the time, in the UK 11-year-olds can't work, and at that time I only got about £1 pocket money a week, which really doesn't go that far.
I have questions on this.
1. First, you're 13 years old where does she expect you to get the money for the mother's day present from? Are the child labor laws different there than here so you can work to get the money for your mother's present? Ask your mother where she expects you to get the money?
I was 11 at the time, in the UK 11-year-olds can't work, and at that time I only got about £1 pocket money a week, which really doesn't go that far.
Accuse her of being selfish by making you buy her a present and that she only cares about her own needs and wants and your brother's needs and wants. Use her reverse blame tactics against her.
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2. Did she really literally call you a b***h?
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Not on that specific occasion, but she does say it a lot when we argue.
Tell her that she is being selfish by hurting your feelings by calling you a female dog. That is the definition of the term b***h.
Interesting. I'll try that.
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3. It sounds like your mom may have too much of a sense of entitlement and may be selfish herself. Am I accurate on this? If so, nothing will satisfy her.
Yes, that's right. When I say something like, "Don't push me," she says, "I can do what I want with you, I'm an adult and you're 13!" like that justifies everything.
Actually that's child abuse. She can't do that. It is inaccurate when she says she can do what she wants with you.
I know that, I think that as she says it each time, but I can't tell her that, because she just gets in an even worse mood with me when I try to reason with her.
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4. Is your mom the type who extremely extraverted hyper-active type?
Not really, she spends most of her time working.
I see.
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5. Is your brother the same as your mother?
Pretty much, yeah. He agrees with her on every single thing, and when we have family arguments it's like it's me versus them, never any other combination. It's like they're the family and I'm just an alien outsider.
This is a trick he uses so he does not get into trouble for anything.
Indeed. I only just realised this over recent months. Another trick he uses is giving me money, then when I keep it he "changes his mind" and wants it back, and when I say you can't ask for stuff back that you give away, he tells Mum and she makes me give it back, and accusing ME of being mean. I got wise to this routine, and today when he asked if he could buy a bottle of Coke from me for £5, I said, "No, go away, I know you'll only use it to manipulate me like the devil-child you are, now get out of my room." I ain't falling for that stunt again as long as I live.
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2008: I remembered, but couldn't be arsed because I was still pissed off by her attitude the previous year (I don't think I'll EVER forget that day, in fact). My grandma accused me of not having any feelings (!).
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Have either one of them read about aspergers at all?
My mother has a bit.
They both need to.
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2009: After much problems with my mother, I'd really started to hate her by now, so I didn't do anything at all. Mother's Day is to show appreciation, not to fake appreciation for a woman who doesn't deserve it.
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I can tell you this. Hating someone is not good. It can consume you and that hate can last for a long time.
That's true, yeah. But I don't know how to get rid of hate.
Just like me, you need closure. This means you and your mother need counseling bad.
I will suggest counselling to her, or maybe I'll talk to the school counsellor first.
hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled
12 May 2009, 5:31 pm
12 May 2009, 9:52 pm
12 May 2009, 9:57 pm
hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled
12 May 2009, 10:08 pm
gina-ghettoprincess wrote:
I will suggest counselling to her, or maybe I'll talk to the school counsellor first.
Be careful how you suggest the counseling, Gina. If you make it sound like you need her to accompany you to "your" counseling, instead of implying that it's her who needs counseling, as well, it might work.
I can still hear my mother's reaction to counseling, when I bought it up in my teens. According to her, she didn't have any issues at all, it was myself who had the problems.
12 May 2009, 10:18 pm
hartzofspace wrote:
gina-ghettoprincess wrote:
I will suggest counselling to her, or maybe I'll talk to the school counsellor first.
Be careful how you suggest the counseling, Gina. If you make it sound like you need her to accompany you to "your" counseling, instead of implying that it's her who needs counseling, as well, it might work.
I can still hear my mother's reaction to counseling, when I bought it up in my teens. According to her, she didn't have any issues at all, it was myself who had the problems.
I agree 100%.
