I can sympathize with your difficult situation, it is very difficult to know where to go first. You are in good company here, though, I've watched Wrong Planet's boards for quite the while now. Only recently decided to speak up.
I am unsure how it will work in your school, but at Eastern Washington University, there are two very important departments: the department of psychological and counselling services, AND... the student disabilities services.
I plopped myself in the sds's department, told them I was an Aspie. They asked for proof, I offered them an internet quiz and a rather lengthy lecture. They smiled, helped accomadate me in the meantime for extended testing time in a quiet environment (people breathing, tapping, and generally figiting when I'm trying to concentrate is too much stress for my poor memory, tests already make me highly agitated). I went on a waiting list. It was three months before an on-campus PHd of psychology got to me.
We did some rather fun games, tests, and half the time I didn't even know I was being tested. That was one of my requests - I do very poorly on tests, and she was more than willing to work with any anxieties I had. The results were quite surprising and fascinating to both of us.
Testing cost $100. The University picked up the rest of the cost. I am unaware what "other cost" there is that they paid, exactly - it was just a service offered to students. It was a huge chunk out of my nonexistant budget, thanks to a nasty divorce, lack of ability to be superwoman (who can be a single mom, full time student, and work full time? not me!), and my only income being student loans and grants. But far cheaper than the 1-5 grand I was told to expect going to a private provider on my own.
I am unsure how it will work for you. A Psychologist is my unprofessional reccommendation, someone with a PHd in the appropriate field, preferably with a focus in autism spectrum.. but they are hard to find. Your son's school may be able to help, pester their disability services department. If they don't help, go to your local DDD department (Google "your city" +"DDD" .. should get you there). If they don't help, go to your general health practitioner doctor person - voice your concerns, and see if you can get a referral to a psychologist or appropriately qualified PHd person. Be sure you find out what your insurance covers, and ask them if you need to get a referral for a psychologist. Sometimes your insurance can tell you what psychologists they cover. Set up an interview, not all psychologists are created equal. It has to be someone your son is comfortable with, and hopefully you are comfortable with, too.
If my psychologist had resembled my ex husband, I likely would have freaked out, clammed up, and not said a word. It is important to be able to trust who is evaluating you, I cannot stress that enough.
It is a difficult fight to get a diagnosis. Don't say the word AUTISTIC to your insurance. They HATE that word, and I mean hate! The end result is well worth every minute of waiting and fighting. Be stubborn, and be strong.
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"The heroine is thrown into a place where good and bad dwell together... She manages not because she has destroyed the 'evil,' but because she has acquired the ability to survive." - Hayao Miyazaki, about Spirited Away.
11 May 2009, 10:38 am
I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man ! 
I hope you find the services you need.
