parents of middle schoolers - survey

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I am beginning a research project (almost two year time-frame) on how to improve motivation of Aspie middle schoolers to stay in school. Any experiences shared would be helpful! Tell me what you think is going wrong, what is done right, what suggestions do you have for making it better.
Thanks!! !

Too much homework
Too many organizational skills required
Inflexible teachers
Mean kids
Hormonal chaos

Anything else?

The only thing about AS and middle school that can potentially mix is the exposure to a broader range of subjects and, hopefully, more depth. But then they go mess it up by requiring teamwork and grading on how neat your paper looks. My son should have been an A student in science, but he isn't, and his favorite subject has been nothing but frustration mostly because of his lab partners and the strange note taking requirements the teacher has.

I could vent for quite a while on middle school. But, you have to know, we actively discourage using this site as a source for reseach. As long as our parents are comfortable responding, I'll let your request sit (although another mod may feel differently), but no polls or other personal questions, please.

When I was in middle school.... my favorite subject was "people". I used to study EVERYONE!! I recall sitting on the playground checking out all the different ways that people would interact with each other. I had almost no interest in my school subjects. There was no class for the study of bigfoot, UFO's or lake monsters. Don't laugh!! !

Honestly, I think that early intervention for social issues and weak math skills/reading skills would have helped a lot. I would have been a better student and therefore might have been interested in more of my class work. Also, I may have had a friend or two! That would have helped A LOT! Positive peer pressure!! !

OK, I am not a parent! I DON'T have a kid! Some may even say I don't have AS! But I have a GERAT episodic memory, so that kid that went to middle school for me is as good as here RIGHT NOW! He had a number of problems that people DIAGNOSED with AS here have spoken about. So, I would like to clarify a few things! So, when I write in the first person, please realize I might as well be YOUR kid, as I will likely say things they will.

You're RIGHT! HOMEWORK, if any, should be enough to get the idea across, and done as needed.

The "organizational skills" needed are DUMB! The TEACHERS are required to do what they then require the students to do. Why not comply with the laws of transparency, reporting, etc... and have the TEACHER put the records, that they are REQUIRED to give to the school, ON THE INTERNET! It is STUPID that they don't do that. I came up with a similar idea around the time I heard about it when I was in middle school! WHAT are they afraid of? The lesson plan only has to cover the names of topics, references, homework assignments, and scheduling! In other words, all those things that the students must track, copy, and attempt to guess.

FORGET the teachers! They do NOT exist! Usually they are merelly automatons that PRETEND to teach. HECK, I spoke with a mother and we comiserated! Do you know why!?!?!? Her kids, in middle school, have the SAME problems that I have at work! Their teachers are not only dumb, but they can't understand, and aren't easily understood, because they are FOREIGN! They are hired ONLY because they are cheap and make it APPEAR that the schools are open, so they can leach off of taxes! Why don't they use old fashioned "programmed texts". LESS organization needed, NO teachers needed, BETTER retention, MORE FUN! I found out about it because my father used to work at a little company. Among other things, they were KNOWN for their good classes. He studied their systems with their materials, and I did also. At least one school I went to had english materials based on the SAME concept! I have seen MATH books based on it. My father and I studied computers and computer languages with it.

BTW That little company? I heard that at one point they made meat scales. They made punches, cards(The punches and cards became a standard for I guess about 100 years), time clocks, and eventually became a latecomer to the typewriter industry(Though it did quite well for a time). They SINGLE HANDEDLY delayed the microcomputer industry(outside of an obscure hobby) for about 10 years! HOW did they do that? WHY did they do that? The biggest industry they were in was the computer industry. YEP! Their newest name is International Business Machines, or IBM for short.

But FORGET all that! We need to allow foreigners to come here for cushy "jobs" and retire off of OUR taxes, right!?!?!?

Mean kids should be treated according to the REAL law! Enforced!! !! !! !! WITH REASON! That means that minors, minorities, disabilities, insanity, etc... should NOT be a defense!

As for hormonal chaos, you're right. I don't know HOW you can prevent that, Some speak of isolation, but that just isn't right.

OH YEAH, GROUP PROJECTS should be BANNED!! !! !! !! ! I once was involved with a group project, not allowed to touch the prototype, and wasn't allowed to have measurements. They were HAPPY to report that I did "ZILCH"! My job was to build a jig to build a device that I had no ability to even really see. THEY hurt my grade! And what if I took the initiative and createed a gadget, and they REFUSED to make the items? For ME to get a good grade, I would have to help THEM get a better one. Such things are STUPID! The smarter people learn LITTLE IF ANYTHING, and the grading is RARELY fair.

Amazingly enough, we've had exceptionally good anti-bully situations with our son in middle school. The teachers were notified of a particular bully bothering my son and his friends at lunch, and they kept an eye on it -- but not only that, they must have specifically talked to this bully and encouraged him to see the geeks as PEOPLE, because ever since then, he has been their friend. A truly positive situation.

Daily talk about social skills -- this talk should occur between parent and child. Parents should ask their kids about what they are doing at lunch-time -- who they are sitting with, what's the topic of conversation, etc. Parents should then provide possible things to talk about, such as current video games, current movies or tv shows, politics, teachers, upcoming projects in school, etc. Parents should provide different strategies for social problems as they arise.

Speech teachers can be terrific resources for social skills training in the speech class. All along the way, elementary and middle school, the speech teachers have totally understood the incredible need for help with starting conversations, figuring out what OTHER people are interested in, reading body language, etc. If your kids don't have friends at school, then they can't possibly be motivated to attend.

Help your middle schooler find an appropriate club or athletic activity to be involved in.

Teachers who keep up their web site and homework expectations online should be HIGHLY COMMENDED. Too bad we can't increase their pay based on this. Any kind of help like this makes a huge difference with the student's and parent's ability to keep up with academic expectations.

Often, meetings besides the yearly IEP meeting are required to keep the school administration on course. Parental expectations need to be written, emailed, called in, and presented in meetings for them to be followed by school administration. Things are often forgot during the summer months, so they must be reiterated just before the school year begins.

Parents need to be constantly vigilant for whatever their child will forget to bring home, forget to do (in the way of homework), or forget to do in terms of extra-curricular activities. If you can help them to remember these things, it gives them time to mature into remembering these things on their own later on.

Middle school doesn't always have to be painful. This is a great opportunity to teach skills when the grades don't go on their permanent record (i.e., count toward college).