Ever lost a special interest or been without?

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1234
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16 May 2009, 6:38 pm

Food has always been my big interest, from when I was young 'till now. It intensified once I figured out how to order books from the internet.
For a good 9 years it's been on my mind 24/7. The past 4 years it's been especially baked goods. Sketching out plans, making up recipes, reading about it, experimenting, photographing...

But since I took Lexapro (an anti depressant, though it appears I'm not depressed) and went off it after 5 weeks (as it was ruining my life), it's gone.
The passion and intensity. Actually everything's gone. All my interests. I only get intense short bursts of interests now (e.g. spending 5 days looking up anything on making your own cosmetics etc.).. but that's it.

It's very frustrating as food has been such a big part of me, it pretty much WAS/is me. I feel pretty much useless now.

Could it just be temporarily as the Lexapro's still in my system or does this just happen?

Has anyone else been without for some time? How'd you feel about it?



thewrll
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16 May 2009, 6:40 pm

Could be you still have the drug or I dont know. Ive always been with Wrll adding to Wrll over the years. But ive been obsessed with certain things but I would not say they were my special interest. I just hope you start to live life for cooking again. I cant imagine how hard it must be if its that hard.


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16 May 2009, 6:45 pm

I know exactly how it feels to loose a special interest. You feel empty and its so obvious something essential is missing.
And its a kind of grief to feel that the magic power is lost. I use to be restless and want to find something new.
But I know I cant bring something on by demand. The special interest finds me, not the other way round.

Must be very practical to have food as special interest as we all needs it. I have always thought things around food is boring


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1234
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16 May 2009, 7:06 pm

That's exactly it:\
And I am frantically trying to find the same feeling I had then, elsewhere...
but like i said, what I find that interests me, only lasts a couple of days.

Following is probably not interesting for you guys:p but here it is anyway, in smaller print.
And boring?:0
I find food amazing;)
During the earlier stages of this interest, it was mostly what was in food that interested me.
But knowing all that, made me get problems with eating... so I then started focusing on the nurturing side of food and creating it myself which was a great change. I could still read up on what's in food, but I could use it to my advantage. I turned vegan and found out even more about food and where you can find different nutrients (e.g. calcium can be found in almonds, figs, sesame seeds, kale etc.), and as a result I knew more than my nutritionist:p And she could never win from me when discussing veganism (she was against it).
But I was also able to really experiment..
Making my own white chocolate (cocoa butter, milk powder, lecithin and a bit of vanilla), trying to create meringues without eggs (almost succesful :lol: ), making my own pralines from scratch (took 8 hours) etc.

After a hiatus from all things animal derived, I got immensely creative and because of that, once I went back to vegetarianism, I could use that creativity with a broader range of ingredients etc. and I was in heaven. It was like I'd been released on the ultimate kids playground.

I also love setting up food so it looks nice. Presentation is key. And then taking pictures. If there was a course for that, I would've ended up studying food photography I'm sure.


sigh. But now it's gone. I really do hope it's just the ADs and once they leave my system completely I'll be like before.

But it's good to know I'm not alone.



CelticRose
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16 May 2009, 7:20 pm

I don't think I've ever been totally without a special interest since I usually have several at once; however, since my special interests do tend to come and go, I do know what it feels like to lose one.

It's an odd feeling to be totally obsessed with something for years and then to suddenly not care about it anymore. For example, I was obsessed with music and singing for all of my life up until my mid-twenties, and then I didn't want to sing in choirs anymore. I actually stressed myself out to the point of shutdown and meltdown because I couldn't accept that singing was gone from my life. I kept quitting and rejoining the choir. Eventually, I quit once and for all and never went back. I still listen to music and sing along with it, but I have no desire to ever perform or study it again.

I've had other special interests that go away and come back later, or simply change focus. For example, I've always done some sort of needlework since I was 8 (I'm 36 now), but I'll cross-stitch for a while, then switch to knitting, then do some blackwork.... Right now I'm into quilting by hand.


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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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16 May 2009, 7:49 pm

You can try watching cooking shows. I am not obsessed with food but I am somewhat fascinated by Paula Deen's accent and I wasn't until I watched her show. I can't figure out if that's a real southern accent so I watch her show and then I try to imitate the way she talks because I am not used to hearing that accent. It's so unique. She is the only person I've ever heard speak like that.
I get interested in house flipping/renovation and ways to make homes look more appealing on the outside. They say neutral colors sell houses but I am of the belief aesthetically pleasing exteriors sell houses faster. It would be cool to own a business that specialized in pleasing exteriors only. People who are having trouble selling their house could hire me to make the outside more pleasing (curb appeal) so it would sell. My main interest in this started after someone in my family wanted to buy a house, hesitated and then it was gone, instantly bought by another buyer in the interim. I was amazed. My family member said the house was the best looking she had been shown and she should have known it would sell fast in that market and she regretted not jumping on it.
So, that made me start thinking about houses that are slow sellers and what can be done to sell them quicker.
It was after watching TLC shows on house flipping that I got even more interested.
I also like yard makeovers/landscaping and thinking of cool creative things to do in that area. There's a local art district in my city I dream about buying out, remodeling the houses and selling them. Right now it's something like 30% artsy and the rest is really run down.
Maybe you could watch shows like Rachel Ray's? She doesn't bake that much, however. At least it's cooking. I find watching television helps me find stuff to get interested in.



Last edited by ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo on 16 May 2009, 8:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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16 May 2009, 7:56 pm

I lost many interests over the years.

For the past six years, internet shopping for clothes and dealing with my own health/beauty/appearance has been my special interest. This is the only thing that gives my life meaning. I'm glad this interest seems to last. Thinking of what to buy next and scanning different e-stores gives me something to do. My life feels meaningful when I constantly have new wardrobe projects. I wish I would win big on the lottery and have my own house with a fabulous walk-in closet and close to unlimited shopping budget.

I want other things in life too, like love and video games, and possibly a few friends but these are just spices. However I think a serious relationship would probably overpower even my current interest for clothes and become my new special interest.



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16 May 2009, 8:34 pm

Didn't have any special interests while on antipsychotic or antidepressant medication. Made me feel depressed, like my life was meaningless. My interests came back some time after I stopped taking the medication. Your food interest will probably come back to you.



1234
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16 May 2009, 8:35 pm

I think so too, though I think having a special interest in your partner could end up very badly:\
e.g. if they somehow end up hurting you, I can't imagine how devastating you'd feel... Though I always think of the worst possible scenario.

I've been drawn to buying clothes online etc. and developing an interest for cosmetics, but I doubt my bank account would survive it if I acted upon it:\
I have been searching the web for clothes a LOT the past three to four weeks, especially outlet stores as they're cheap but have decent clothes and places like Yoox, but it's weird because being interested in clothes is so not me... and yet I can't help it. I keep running to my mum with the laptop showing her this new dress and that new sweater and how I'm planning on getting it etc. Dreaming together different outfits etc. But I need to set very strict spending limits I guess. Another thing that limits my clothes shopping is that I seem to have a 'talent' to pick the most expensive thing without even looking at the price:p. And when I want something I want only that and no alternative.
It's fun, but if this turns into my new interest, it's going to be very weird.


CelticRose, I do needlework too:) I mostly crochet.
Though because of RSI tendencies, I can't do it much which saddens me a bit.
Crocheting is so relaxing and you can just let your thoughts go whilst doing something useful at the same time:) I've just started to learn how to sew and am preparing to learn to do embroidery as well, hopefully that'll be better for my arms. Though crocheting is more of a come and go obsession for me. It goes as soon as my elbows can't bear the pain anymore and comes as soon as the pain has disappeared again.

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
Even tv programs on cooking don't interest me anymore:\
I tried watching some, but I didn't enjoy it. Except anything about food from medieval times etc. or foods from strange cultures... but those programs are pretty rare.
I do understand how inspiring watching a program on your interest can be though:)
And I think it'd be awesome if you could remodel houses etc. I think there's a program on the discovery channel about that..."Flip that House". Not sure if you've seen it, but if not, you should definitely check it out!



1234
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16 May 2009, 8:36 pm

Vimse wrote:
Didn't have any special interests while on antipsychotic or antidepressant medication. Made me feel depressed, like my life was meaningless. My interests came back some time after I stopped taking the medication. Your food interest will probably come back to you.


Thanks for that:)
I really do hope so!
I hate how medication can just change you like that and mess you life up even more.



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16 May 2009, 9:07 pm

1234 wrote:
I think so too, though I think having a special interest in your partner could end up very badly:\
e.g. if they somehow end up hurting you, I can't imagine how devastating you'd feel... Though I always think of the worst possible scenario.

I've been drawn to buying clothes online etc. and developing an interest for cosmetics, but I doubt my bank account would survive it if I acted upon it:\
I have been searching the web for clothes a LOT the past three to four weeks, especially outlet stores as they're cheap but have decent clothes and places like Yoox, but it's weird because being interested in clothes is so not me... and yet I can't help it. I keep running to my mum with the laptop showing her this new dress and that new sweater and how I'm planning on getting it etc. Dreaming together different outfits etc. But I need to set very strict spending limits I guess. Another thing that limits my clothes shopping is that I seem to have a 'talent' to pick the most expensive thing without even looking at the price:p. And when I want something I want only that and no alternative.
It's fun, but if this turns into my new interest, it's going to be very weird.


Yeah Yoox is good, it's where my interest started and for many years it was one of just a few good e-stores available to europeans. It's still one of the best places and a must to visit regularly.
In addition to Yoox today there are at least five european based high-profile e-boutiques for men (probably even more for women) and many designers have their own E-boutiques on the official site. I made many bad purchases when I just started but today I'm a master of e-shopping and built my own nice style. I hardly ever have to return an item. It gives a strong sense of self satisfaction, just like mastering any job, to be able to put together well balanced, stylish looks from exclusive designer clothes and hand made professional craftsmanship which feels heavenly just to touch. The main mistake I made when I just started was buying stuff too randomly and not well planned enough. I couldn't create a look which wasn't unbalanced or clownish, but with training I went from victim to, in my eyes at least, almost iconic. I have a really well developed subtle style consciousness today and the learning is a never-ending process, you just keep gaining knowledge about different cuts, styles, materials as well as getting to know your own body really well.

It took me some time to realize this was actually my special interest and the most important thing in my life but now I accept it as an important part of who I am, not just a decadent and irresponsible spending. It gives me self satisfaction and identity since I almost view it as my job, even though others might say it's like viewing eating ice cream as a job. I don't feel any shame or guilt today having this as my interest.



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16 May 2009, 9:30 pm

That's too bad about the cooking, 1234, I dunno what else you can try.
The best thing about a cooking interest is it's not too expensive but it can lead to overindulging. I try not to get too interested in cooking because of that.
Clothing is good imagewise but you're right, charging too many outfits can run up your credit card.
I have watched Flip That House and Property Ladders. That's what makes me interested in these things because I want to remake an entire neighborhood, especially if it's an historical one that's somewhat run down, and increase the value of the property. It would be my altruistic deed.



msansjr
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16 May 2009, 9:36 pm

Zoonic wrote:
I want other things in life too, like love and video games, and possibly a few friends but these are just spices. However I think a serious relationship would probably overpower even my current interest for clothes and become my new special interest.


I advise against going the way to exchange your interests for a serious relationship. Really, I am splitting with my wife this week. She was everything to me in the beginning, I didn't care about the things I've set aside to be with her. We had a child, and she is 4 years old.

Now... I feel that this was exactly where I made a mistake, that probably if I kept doing my special things (even if it might sound selfish to her), they would have kept me sane and stable for my relationship.

Now that she is not interesting to me anymore, I feel completely empty, no interest at all. It's been happening for about 2-3 years now.I am taking citalopram (6 months now) and it helps with my anxiety, but I don't know if it also "helps" me not being interested in anything...



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16 May 2009, 9:45 pm

A couple years ago I wanted to become a Psychologist and study killers. When I got into College and started learning Psychology I tossed myself FULLY into it (writing a 4,000 word paper when the teacher asked for 3,000,Writing a paper over the 2 week Holiday Break,the 4,000 word paper was an autobiography she wanted about the first time you rode a bike something simple I gave her from birth-that point in my life (medical issues and all!! !!) I also on the first day of her class she wanted us to start a journal (I started day ONE!) She said start next week etc. I jumped on day ONE! (She just looked at me smiled and laughed she IMO saw my intensity and understood it LOL!) Now that I got suspended in Feb.2005 that passion has been diminished and based off of actually being analyzed the clinical stuff is unhelpful or atleast it has been for me. My interest has changed to more the brain and how behaivor affects it but IMO why buy books/research that topic unless you are in College LEARNING TO BECOME A PSYCHOLOGIST! So it's just a dream for now but basically I know where you are coming from. :-)



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16 May 2009, 10:02 pm

I've never been without a special interest before, even though I'm on a lot of medication (including Lexapro). But medications affect everyone differently, especially those that alter brain chemistry.

But I do go through what I call a "transition" period between special interests, in which I acknowledge that a special interest is no longer interesting. Then I quietly mourn for a day or two before something else captures my interest.



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16 May 2009, 10:14 pm

msansjr wrote:
Zoonic wrote:
I want other things in life too, like love and video games, and possibly a few friends but these are just spices. However I think a serious relationship would probably overpower even my current interest for clothes and become my new special interest.


I advise against going the way to exchange your interests for a serious relationship. Really, I am splitting with my wife this week. She was everything to me in the beginning, I didn't care about the things I've set aside to be with her. We had a child, and she is 4 years old.

Now... I feel that this was exactly where I made a mistake, that probably if I kept doing my special things (even if it might sound selfish to her), they would have kept me sane and stable for my relationship.

Now that she is not interesting to me anymore, I feel completely empty, no interest at all. It's been happening for about 2-3 years now.I am taking citalopram (6 months now) and it helps with my anxiety, but I don't know if it also "helps" me not being interested in anything...


I think that there's a high possibility love will override a special interest and become the new special interest even if you try to be rational about it. If I was you, I would have ended up the same I think and there wouldn't have been anything I could have done to prevent it other than never getting into a relationship at all in the first place.