Okay, for years I've had quirks which I've learned to live around, but now that my son has been diagnosed aspergers, largely because of similar quirks, I'm wondering...
When I'm stressed, my hands jump. I can clench them, shove them in my pockets, nobody notices, but as soon as I'm by myself I'll just let them flap till I'm feeling less stressed.
I've got counting rituals, and stylised "hand washing" rituals (though it's barely handwashing anymore, I've diminished it to rubbing my hands together, and certain tweaks of the fingers.)
I talk to myself in what the pentacostals call tongues. (It's gibberish. It is not tongues, it's just me making soothing noises while I work things out in my head. Can't remember when it started, and it doesn't happen so very often now... but it does still sometimes happen.)
I've got tricks to help me talk to people face to face, so they don't realise I'm not really making eye contact. (ie, look at the bridge of their nose so they think I'm looking at their eyes.) Taking my glasses off if its a long conversation, so that I seem to be seeing them, but I don't have to if I don't want to.
Sitting on my hands to stop myself from flapping in public.
There are some situations I can't cope with, like close confined quarters on the underground, supermarkets when they are full of people... I've had full blown panic attacks when I can't remember how I got out of where I was panicking in, but apparently I was in full flap and full gibberish till I got some private space.
Those are things that I've taken for granted, and I just assumed that they were quirks, not "symptoms"... but do others do this too?
How much of what I've shared do folks recognise?
24 May 2009, 4:43 pm
