Do you seek out other people?

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Again, I am always amazed by the similarities in our respective lives, glider18.
From the high school band thing, to the geeky quasi-friends, to the relative satisfaction with a non-social life. This is me exactly. Thank you for your response.

I often say that I would be perfectly content living by myself in the woods, in the mountains somewhere. And the more I think about it, the more I am conviced of it. Thoreau's Walden always had great appeal to me. Of his many quotable lines, this one is certainly relevant to this dicussion: "I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion."

My version of this was to think I would make a good nun in a contemplative order. Shame I'm not Catholic.

Regards,

Patricia

Well. Right now I'd have to say no. Right now I am sorta tired of dealing with people and there's a very good reason for that. My neighborhood went from being on the edge of town to in the middle of a commercial property zone and at first I thought it would be so cool having everything here in the back yard or whatever and I was excited and happy about it but now it's not as fun as I thought it would be:(
There's so many cars suvs and pickup trucks and they are the rudest drivers you could ever imagine. Not even in the city are they as rude as they are here. These dudes drive pick up trucks with feet made out of lead or something and it's loud and it's like they are going to smash into something. They gun the accelerator. It's an aggravation, yah.
If it wasn't for all these pick up trucks these new places would be awesome beyond belief.
They made some sidewalks but there's so much traffic you can't even cross the street safely. They haven't lowered the speed limit (it's forty mph) and I have absolutely no idea why it's still forty. It was forty before all these new places arrived and it's still forty with all this traffic.
I guess forty is normal but it seems like they are mostly driving faster than that. Anyway, yah, it's a big hassle if you have to drive in it. Just getting across the street in the car is a major undertaking.
So, like, right now this is sorta putting me in a bad mood because it seems like the traffic gets worse every single day. It's like wow. So wow!

I remember feeling invisible when I was in high school. For me it wasn't a conclusion, it was a feeling as from intuition. Someone told me later that the secret was eye contact. I started experimenting. Whenever I needed solitude in a crowd, if I stopped making eye contact, I became invisible; people stopped talking to me, and I became alone with my thoughts for the most part. It works for guys anyway. What works for me, for connecting is shifting my concern from me to others. I look for ways to show kindness to them, and I try not to worry about how they respond to me.

Interesting question. This is something I've been thinking about for quite some time. I don't really seek out any kind of relationships. Usually it comes from socializing at school or work where someone asks me to join in something, such as going to lunch or seeing a movie. For the last few years the closest thing to new friendships I've made has been at work, but there I wouldn't really consider them "friends" since the only contact we have is at work.

I do have one friend I've known for 8 years. I would say she's my best friend, but that would imply I had other friends, of which she was the best. We met in school. The interesting thing is that she initiated the friendship. I would be very satisfied with having her as my only friend if she didn't live 300+ miles away. It seems with me that quality trumps quantity. We even talked about this issue before. I said that at times I get miserable from loneliness, but I have no interest in meeting new people, so I'm basically screwed.

I used to live in Boston and one of my favorite things to do was take the train up to Concord and walk to Walden Pond. I'd spend hours walking the trails through the woods or finding some isolated spot at the shore and reading a book. I always tried to go mid-week during non-peak times so I could be as alone as possible. People had a way of ruining it for me. "Blah, blah, blah, pretty trees, blah, blah, blah, watch your step, blah, blah, blah, don't do that, blah, blah, blah..."

With most people, I look for ways to show kindness, and if I succeed people often respond in kind, and often some of those people who responded in kind also become my friends, or my wife's friends.

The relationship that I do seek is very rare, like I have found six or seven people in 20 years that can relate to me this way. This rare relationship is with a person who is able to communicate non-verbally with me from my inside to their inside. Proximity has no impact on our ability to communicate. Of course I'm strange too.

I don't recall ever seeking people out. If I receive a couple of comments on a forum, it feels as though I'm approaching my limit for socialising for that day. I find contact with others easily overwhelming because I need a lot of time to process it.

Nope. I have never once 'looked for' a relationship or a friendship. The ones I've had have always just happened. At this current point in time I get very little socialization outside of an online context and that is Ok with me. If I felt lonely at some time I would either post on here or go do something I'm interested in. I would NEVER go outside and seek a real human

Edit: I must amend this with one situation where I would seek out someone. If I were in a forced social context such as a family get-together or a school function, I would seek out one person with whom I feel slightly comfortable and would spend the evening following that person around. If no such person were available, I'd find a quiet out of the way spot to sit and hope no one takes undeserved pity on me for being 'lonely' and tries to start a conversation.