Any point in reading a book on body language?

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Chyndonax
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27 May 2009, 1:59 pm

I bought a book on reading and understanding body language recently. Is this something I can improve at if I go about it methodically and practice? Or does my Asperger's completely rule this out?


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27 May 2009, 2:12 pm

It might help you understanding it, but unlikely apply. Why? Too many muscles in the body. They can't all be controlled at will.



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27 May 2009, 2:20 pm

Yeah, they actually help a lot. Even just flicking throught them briefly allows you to spot the signs in other people.

It's a little harder to put them into practice, but sometimes they can make you more aware of the signals that you are already sending out (subconsciously) and you can modify them if you're not happy with what your body is 'saying'.

Don't worry if it all seems a bit overwhelming to start with: you don't have to master it all at once.



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27 May 2009, 4:17 pm

It may be helpful. Recognition of body language in others is a very usefull skill.



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27 May 2009, 4:19 pm

I've read alot of body language books and they're really good, I'm pretty good at reading people because I've learned so much from these books and TV programms. And there's still things I find out I never knew before.
This is one of the reasons I'm taking psychology in college.


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27 May 2009, 4:23 pm

It's really helped me. I made a point of sitting and reading body language books when I was a teenager, and practising in front of a mirror. (yes, I know how bad that sounds.) But it has helped me function.



Chyndonax
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27 May 2009, 8:49 pm

mgran wrote:
It's really helped me. I made a point of sitting and reading body language books when I was a teenager, and practising in front of a mirror. (yes, I know how bad that sounds.) But it has helped me function.


Out of curiosity are you interested in psychology in general or did you read books on body language to compensate for a shortcoming.


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27 May 2009, 9:48 pm

Chyndonax wrote:
I bought a book on reading and understanding body language recently. Is this something I can improve at if I go about it methodically and practice? Or does my Asperger's completely rule this out?


When I was younger, I was really gullable, and bad at understanding if people were being truthful with me or not, so I started observing their actions and body language. Let me tell you, this will give you a whole lot more truthful information than what people ever say, or don't say. People lie, whereas their actions and body language doesn't (well, unless they are really smart and manipulative, or have been coached like a politician, but even then, they still give themselves away when they think nobody is watching). Anymore, I can almost see right through people, and size them up real quick.

Tip:
A couple of main things I concentrate on are people's eyes and tone of voice.


I wouldn't say it's impossible with AS, because it's mostly a visual thing, and AS people are visual learners.



smudge
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30 May 2009, 3:39 am

mgran wrote:
It's really helped me. I made a point of sitting and reading body language books when I was a teenager, and practising in front of a mirror. (yes, I know how bad that sounds.) But it has helped me function.


I don't think practicing in front of a mirror is a bad thing, it's almost certainly going to help.

I recommend body language books, AND books on how to make conversation. I've made myself more approachable, but I just don't know how to carry on conversations. I am rubbish at conversations, and when my exams are finished I'm going to be doing a load of reading on conversation skills. Anyone have any books they can recommend?

Actually, has anyone ever read those "Dear Aspie" posts on here? I think they're good introductions. Might buy the books he recommends.



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30 May 2009, 9:06 am

Learning about NT behavior and how to spot it can't hurt you. It should help you develop your adaptation skills.



Chyndonax
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30 May 2009, 1:08 pm

Started reading the book yesterday. It's a really enjoyable read, and not just because the subject matter interests me.


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NicksQuestions
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31 May 2009, 2:08 am

I would think it could help. I read about a study where those with Asperger's did just as well as NT's in recognizing facial expressions when they have a language label to go next to it. Both Asperger's and NT's were shown facial expression templates and a label with it. The Asperger's were able to spot the facial expressions to be matched up from the other section just as easily. However, when the facial expressions had the labels mixed up, they did worse than the NT's. The conclusion of the study is that Aperger's may do well with using verbal abilities in learning body language.

One thing I am curious about is Simon-Baron Cohen's MindReading Emotions.



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31 May 2009, 2:45 am

I think it does help. Reading and asking people about body language has helped me recognise a lot of non-verbal communication. But, it will never be intuitive to me.



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31 May 2009, 10:46 am

Chyndonax wrote:
I bought a book on reading and understanding body language recently. Is this something I can improve at if I go about it methodically and practice? Or does my Asperger's completely rule this out?
It will probably help you understand people a little better, but in a completely analytical way. I have studied people etc for a while and I feel I understand them more but not in a close way...more like in the way you would perhaps study birds and feel you know birds better, if that makes sense. When I read about humans, I don't think about myself as one, and have therefore distanced my self from people completely- which is not what I initially intended.



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31 May 2009, 11:02 am

It certainly can't hurt. I've had to force myself to act in ways that don't feel natural to me, so that I can fit in better.

Maintaining eye contact was a hard one for me. Feels more normal the more you do it.



Chyndonax
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31 May 2009, 4:08 pm

AJCoyne wrote:
It will probably help you understand people a little better, but in a completely analytical way. I have studied people etc for a while and I feel I understand them more but not in a close way...more like in the way you would perhaps study birds and feel you know birds better, if that makes sense. When I read about humans, I don't think about myself as one, and have therefore distanced my self from people completely- which is not what I initially intended.


I know exactly what you mean. I can figure people out very well. But I cannot connect to them. There have been times when I'll be watching a group of people and I get this feeling of not being like them at all. Even a little. It's hard to explain just how total this feeling is. Although I suspect many here will be familiar with it.


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