Worst meltdown you have ever had in your WHOLE life

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I dont like to talk about my worst one because it makes me too upset...

This is a selection from a post I made in The Haven forum back in February.
And it is certainly the worst meltdown/breakdown situation I have ever had in my WHOLE life.

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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 9:53 am Post subject: What just happened to me???

This is what I remember:
Last night, my ex (whom I still live with) and I got into an argument. Things escalated very quickly, and it got out of hand. All of a sudden, I found myself hitting my own head repeatedly, screaming, and falling to the ground. My vision and hearing all got "far-away", I felt numb. My body became paralyzed. I had scrunched myself up, nearly into a ball. My hands were locked behind my head, and my fingers frozen in a claw-like gesture, digging into my scalp. I felt like my lungs were closing off. My breathing became a series of interrupted gasps. I lay there, not moving and struggling to breathe for what seemed like a very long time.

Not realizing the extent of what was going on, my ex sarcastically said, "Am I going to have to wake you up off the floor??" I tried to say something. I could not speak. After a tremendous amount of effort, I managed to blurt out something like, "mmgggnno". At some point, I felt my body start to release the paralysis-tension. I was able to move, and I slowly propped myself up into a sitting position.

I sat there, with my head in my hands and began to tremble and shake. I started to cry uncontrollably. I mean whole-body sobs that I could not stop, even though I wanted to. My breathing remained frantic and choppy. It was all completely involuntary. I realized this with a growing sense of terror. My ex started to see that there was something really wrong, and came over to try and comfort me. She tried to give me a glass of water. The shaking had gotten so bad that I couldn't even hold the glass.

I sobbed and shook uncontrollably for a long time, and it eventually very slowly began to subside. I was able to speak and drink that glass of water. But after I had stopped crying and shaking, I felt like I'd been run over by a truck. I stared vacantly at the wall, and my speech was mostly one-word responses, and even those words were slurred.

I ended up spending more than an hour on the floor, going through all of this. Eventually I was able to get up, and my speech improved. My ex and I talked about what happened, and she seemed just as clueless and afraid as I was. I pretty much immediately went to bed after that. This morning, I still feel like I was flattened by a truck. I must have hit myself in the head pretty badly, because certain spots are still tender, and my whole head generally aches.

Last night, I described what happened as a "breakdown". My brain shut down, and I lost voluntary control of my body. I don't know what else to call that. My ex looked up information on panic attacks, and said that a lot of those symptoms match up. But I feel like it was a bit more than that. Or just the absolute worst panic attack I've ever had. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before... just a total shutdown.
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I'm still not exactly sure what happened.
I probably should see a doctor.
hmmmmm...

Cant discriminate,most of own meltdowns have always been on the extreme end,as this is pretty much a weakpoint for self.
Probably easier to say the weakest meltdown have ever had,which was in sainsburys-fell to the floor from a announcement that suddenly came out on the PA system [they'd whacked the volume up on it to max] which triggered muscles to collapse and had a not too bad MD on the floor,the sainsburys staff were very supportive and wanted to help,but am already had two support staff with self and they just dragged am back to the car.

That time when people tried to get Daniel to do something he didn't want to (which has happened a few times, but one was worst than others); "Hulk Smash" is the term I use. 'Daniel smash people!' 'Smash people!' Smash, smash, smash!'

Luckily, this only happens when people attempt to force me to do something I don't want to [for whatever reason].

I...greatly fear the day that I have a run in with the police for some unknown reason, and they try to restrain me with handcuffs. It's kinda why I wear my "Autism alert" necklace everywhere I go.

Mine took place the 14 february 1999. I remember that day as yesterday, crystal clear...it was almost killing me...and it took me years to get over it....

Smashing a glass bottle(it was some kind of juice I had from lunch) over the head of a kid that was picking on me on the bus one to many times back in middle school. I usually am never violent but if you keep pushing someone, eventually, they are going to reach their limit. I guess that's all if you would call that a meltdown. I don't know if it was because I didn't yell, I did it very fast and a walked off the bus calmly and into the principal's office to turn myself in. Surprisingly, I wasn't suspended, just office detentions for two weeks.

It was a few years ago. I smashed a cup in the head of the doctor that tried to have me admitted. Then the police came. It was terrible. Am usually never violent but lost control of myself when they would not leave me alone. And they tried to force me into doing things I was not able to do when already in overload.

Usually lose my speech when overloaded. This will make people worry and they will try to "help" and refuse to leave me alone. And some times it can escalate from there. Hopefully my asperger's diagnosis will prevent this from happening in the future.

Homer_Bob,

That reminds me of the time I hit my sister with a, frosted glass, perfume bottle, on the head.
I just stood up, calmly walked up to her and WHACK.

It was also because she'd been torturing/bullying me one too many times.
Luckily I was six then, so there wasn't much force applied to the action.

I have to admit, it makes me giggle a bit now as she never expected it (though neither did I).

I'm not violent either and especially after entering my teens and realizing I couldn't scratch/hit/bite/kick everyone that upset me, I stopped doing that.

I don't think I've ever had an aggressive meltdown that I could count as my worst one though...
I usually just shut down/turn myself off when things get bad.

in 8th grade, i got really pissed off, picked up a desk and launched it at the math teacher.

got suspended but that was it really. they were just like "oh, he's autistic, he couldn't help it." dumb teachers.

i can't really remember what upset me, to be honest.

I used to get these kind of mega panic attacks... I wouldnt sleep for days and panic for hours until i would pass out from pain. My gf at the time would remark that my back would be blue in the morning as my muscles were so tight... the worst thing was involentry shaking movements and constant pins and needles. once i woke up after passing out and my body was stiff that once i moved i got pins and needles literally everywhere, all over my back etc... god the pain for like 30 mins! sometimes i would often have no feeling in my face arms chest and hands, yet i still had to attend meetings etc...

the worst one was when i found out my ex of 8 years had been cheating on me, she had sworn for months nothing was going on but my intution told me differently. she was fed up i was always weak and tried from panic attacks as i worked so hard i often only sleept 4 hours a day and i was worried about her. I used to ask her all the time if it was true which angered her alot til she would scream at shout at me that i had gone crazy for thinking that... so i belived i had lost my mind. Once she told me that her work trip was infact a dirty weekend away with her boss i just collapased, i couldnt talk or anything, then i stopped breathing passed out and eneded up in A&E. Took me about 8 months to get back to normal strength and feeling back.

feel much much better these days! stress is a terrible terrible thing though

I also smashed a cup in the head of a dr. I was already hospitalized. I ended up in four point restraints for five hours. Horrific!

When I compare what I know now about avoiding meltdowns... staff should be trained better. I wish I had been diagnosed then.

It was my worst meltdown ever. I was 26. It was 14 years ago.

One of them was when I was 15. I was in the basement watching TV and lying on the couch and then my mother yells my name and tells me we are going to go outside and weed the garden. I get so upset and shaken inside it's like I was pulled into another world. I get all bitchy and start yelling and screaming I start throwing dirt clods at her. Then I start attacking her too and she had to restrain me and ask my little brother to grab me so she can get me under her. She stayed on me until I was more calm and then I ran off and got all dirty. Turns out we weren't going to weed the whole thing, only part of it. She did say we were going to weed it and when I saw how many weeds there were since the garden was huge since we had it out in the field, I thought we were going to do all that in one day.

I'm not sure, but the most absolutely awful ones leave me feeling dehydrated due to excessive sobbing.

I don't tend to have meltdowns these days, nowadays when I'm in a state of distress I'm more likely to become stiff and unresponsive, and unable to do anything except sit/stand there with my gaze fixed on whatever is in front of me. Until the age of 12 I was prone to quite "explosive" outbursts. The closest thing I've had to the sort of meltdown I used to have was panicking and biting my friend's arm a few months ago because she had grabbed my wrist and wouldn't let go.

The worst meltdown I can remember was when I was about 10 or 11 years old. My mum used to send me to a holiday playscheme because I was too young to be in the house on my own while she was at work. The incident in question involved two other children who kept poking me. I find it quite painful if somebody presses my ribs or back and they wouldn't stop poking me. I started screaming at them and I think I tried to hit one of them. I know I definitely pushed one of them quite hard. I ended up being sent to the staff room to sit on my own and calm down. It took nearly an hour before I stopped shaking and I felt exhausted for the rest of the day.