Wrong Planet » Depression

It Gets Better – by Aspie Columnist Jeffrey Deutsch

Alex Plank — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 15:21:14 +0000

I’ve been there, done that and gotten the proverbial T-shirt. As an Aspie who grew up pre-ADA, never mind pre-Aspie acceptance, I was unemployed, underemployed and lonely for years.

In fact, I’d probably still be that way, if it wasn’t for Emily – my first and only girlfriend ever (now she’s Mrs. Deutsch). We met when I was 29 1/2, and a few years later, after Googling my more…interesting…traits, she figured I may be an Aspie.

She made me aware of my condition and how it was driving me to do and say things that pissed everyone else off and closed doors to me.

As a result, I came to see that I really could re-shape my own future – by re-shaping my behavior.Just like with gays, it can get better for us too – if we make it so!

“Congratulations, you’ve been voted Most Individual and Most Controversial!”

(“You have no friends, and you’re only still breathing because murder’s actually a felony in this state.”)

“We’re going to have to let you go.”

(“You’re fired!”)

“Thanks for asking, but I need to shampoo my rugs that evening.”

(“I wouldn’t go out with you for a million-dollar role on a reality show – even if they’d been invented yet!”)

“I’m sorry, but we’re going to need the room back.”

(“Namely, to rent to someone else – anybody else instead of you!”)

(The sound of my phone never ringing with, say, friends inviting me out.)

As an Aspie, I’ve been there, done that and gotten the T-shirt.

Now, I have my own practice doing what I love and getting paid for it, by helping fellow Aspies navigate this bewildering NT world. I’ve been happily married to Emily, an NT, for over seven years now, and we’re living in a nice townhouse. I also have regular social engagements (especially through Toastmasters) and good friends.

I’ve certainly been trained for it – decades of Home-based Experiential Lifelong Learning (HELL)! I grew up and went to college and my first years of graduate school before Asperger Syndrome (AS) was even recognized as an official diagnosis. In fact, I first heard about it from Emily while we were dating – at the age of 34. She then…insistently asked me, let’s just say, to read articles and books about AS.

After I read a few books – especially by Maxine Aston, who counsels Aspie-NT couples – my eyes opened. I saw for the first time how my being inflexible, getting hung up on little details and missing anything that’s not spelled out in so many words, among other things, were upsetting people and burning bridges.

As I started to understand how NTs tend to think, feel and express themselves, I softened and otherwise changed my words and actions. And then – to my surprise – some people actually liked me back. People asked for my help with projects. In Toastmasters, a senior district official (who has since become District Governor) recruited me to join her club, and I’m now in my second elected office there.

Meanwhile, I’ve learned a lot in my marriage to Emily. I’ve learned to compromise, take another person’s viewpoint and even anticipate how she’s likely to react to something. We’ve lasted longer than many NT couples, and we’re not quitting anytime soon!

If someone had told me at age 15, 20 or even 25 that things would get better – and in fact I could make them better myself – I would have thought they were nuts. But it’s true. And you can do it too!

Jeff Deutsch is an Aspie, who draws on his decades of Home-based Experiential Lifelong Learning (HELL) to help fellow Aspies better relate to NTs and vice versa. Now happily married to Emily, an NT who first told him about Asperger Syndrome (AS), he gives inspirational talks, group training for Aspies and also for Aspies’ families’ and partners’ support groups, employers, service providers, first responders and others, and individual life coaching for both Aspies and NTs. He helps Aspies better get along with NTs, and NTs better recognize and deal with Aspies, on the job, through social situations, in personal relationships and other aspects of daily life.

After graduating from high school, and then Cornell University less than three years later, Jeff subsequently earned his M.A. and Ph.D. from George Mason University. Years later, at the age of 38, he was diagnosed with AS by both a counselor and a psychiatrist.

Jeff’s practice, A SPLINT (ASPies Linking with NTs), is registered in the State of Maryland.

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Major depression at age 5? Researchers say it can happen

Alex Plank — Sun, 17 Oct 2004 11:09:54 +0000

FortWayne.com reports:

Thirty years ago mental health experts thought it was impossible. Five years ago there was no proof.

Preschoolers with major depression?

Children 3, 4 or 5 years old so sad they think of killing themselves?

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Anti depressants and talk therapy are effective therapy for teen depression

Alex Plank — Wed, 25 Aug 2004 07:00:00 +0000

A new study from the Johns Hopkins Children’s Center and 12 other medical centers shows the most effective treatment for adolescents with major depressive disorder is a combination of antidepressants and psychotherapy. Researchers say the study’s findings indicate this combination treatment may be best for both improving depression and reducing the level of suicidal thinking in adolescents. The multicenter Treatment for Adolescents with Depression Study (TADS) clinical trial, sponsored by the National Institute of Mental Health, is believed to be the first to examine the individual and combined effectiveness of the antidepressant fluoxetine (Prozac) and cognitive behavioral (“talk”) therapy in depressed adolescents.
The findings are published in the August 18th issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association. Overall, combined antidepressant and talk therapy treatment yielded the best results, followed by antidepressants alone. However, talk therapy on its own was found to be no more effective than placebo, the researchers say. “Until this study, there was limited evidence that proved antidepressants were appropriate for use in teenagers with depression,” says John Walkup, MD, a co-author of the study and a child and adolescent psychiatrist at the Johns Hopkins Children’s Center. “Not only do the results support the use of antidepressants for depressed teens, but when used in conjunction with talk therapy, these medications actually provide teens with the best chance to alleviate their depression.” Controversy has surrounded the use of Prozac and similar medications (known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) because of reports that they may lead a small number of teenagers and children to become suicidal. In the current study, researchers found that the level of suicidal thoughts, which had been present in 29% of the youths at the beginning of the study, decreased significantly regardless of the treatment received, with the combination of fluoxetine and talk therapy showing the greatest reduction. While no patients committed suicide during the study, there were seven cases of attempted suicide during the treatment phase of the study. However, Walkup says the development of new suicidal thoughts after starting antidepressant medication is unusual. “As long as youths taking antidepressants are monitored closely by their physicians, I believe the benefits of antidepressants for depressed teens really outweigh the risks. Antidepressants can be a safe and effective treatment for teens with depression, a common condition that can be devastating if left untreated,” he says. During the first 12-week section of the study, 439 youths ages 12 to 17 with moderate to severe depression were randomly assigned to a treatment of either fluoxetine; cognitive behavior therapy, during which a therapist reinforces positive thought patterns and behavior; a combination of fluoxetine and talk therapy; or placebo pills. Using common psychological scales to measure depression severity, researchers found that 71% of teens who received fluoxetine and talk therapy improved with treatment, compared with 60.6% who received fluoxetine alone, 43.2% who received talk therapy alone, and 34.8% who received a placebo treatment. After 12 weeks, patients who were receiving fluoxetine, talk therapy, or a combination of both continued treatment for two more stages, while those who had not responded to placebos were offered the “active” treatment of their choice. However, results to date include only the first 12 weeks of treatment. http://www.docguide.com/news/content.nsf/news/8525697700573E1885256EF40048AD20?opendocument&wf=yes

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