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Message |
Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Friend trying to force a close connection that isn't there |
| Anngables |
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Posted: 09 Oct 2019, 9:11 pm
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Replies: 13
Views: 2,824
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| Firstly I admit I haven’t read all of the posts so forgive me if I am repeating something already said. I am speaking as an NT lady who has had an on and off close friendship with an aspie man for the past 4yrs or more. If you look at my previous posts you will see there have been many times I have ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: The Aspie mind that hides things |
| Anngables |
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Posted: 25 Aug 2019, 1:58 pm
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Replies: 19
Views: 1,097
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| My opinion for what it’s worth as an NT lady who has at times struggled with even maintain a friendship with an aspie male. My friend will take it very literally and seriously if I say I don’t like so,etching or something upsets me. . . . He will do everything to avoid those situations. He hurts me ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Need help: Being ignored by the autistic guy I'm dating |
| Anngables |
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Posted: 24 Aug 2019, 7:16 pm
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Replies: 13
Views: 17,870
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| As an NT woman who has struggled with a platonic friendship with an aspie guy for four year I sympathise. . . .. . The truth is we simply don’t think the same. I think I projected a lot onto my friend. I thought many things were signs of him caring or thinking I was special. . . . . I think he often... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Is he only playing the Aspie? |
| Anngables |
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Posted: 24 Aug 2019, 6:54 pm
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Replies: 65
Views: 2,093
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| Hurtloam. . . . . I think that would be final nail in my coffin of friendship, but if he does care he should be pleased that I cared enough to get advice, and I turned to somewhere that helps me understand rather than an NT forum that indulges aspie bashing. . .. . . .I'm fairly sure he cares for in... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Is he only playing the Aspie? |
| Anngables |
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Posted: 23 Aug 2019, 9:33 pm
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Replies: 65
Views: 2,093
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| In the space of 4yrs my friendship has gone from feeling like some kind of emotional affair. Not being sure of my feelings but being bombarded with attention and apparent concern for my well being constantly. . . . To someone who I hear from usually when he needs something from me. . . . . Does he a... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Is he only playing the Aspie? |
| Anngables |
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Posted: 23 Aug 2019, 9:29 pm
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Replies: 65
Views: 2,093
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| What do you mean? What sort of conversation? What do you say? Surely you don't need verbal confirmation. A friend is someone who wants to spend time and talk to you. Declaring your friendship is unusual even for NTs[/quote] I would have a conversation saying. Have I upset you. . . . If feels like s... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Is he only playing the Aspie? |
| Anngables |
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Posted: 22 Aug 2019, 9:58 pm
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Replies: 65
Views: 2,093
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I have spoken to his new special friend, and she has had exactly the same problems as me, but she is not so bothered about keeping the friendship going.. . . . .
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Is he only playing the Aspie? |
| Anngables |
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Posted: 22 Aug 2019, 9:55 pm
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Replies: 65
Views: 2,093
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| I get that people lose interest etc etc heck I do it myself with my own friends, the problem comes regarding the communication of the situation. . . . .. How do you tell the difference with an aspie if he has lost interest. . . . Or if he still values and respects you as a friend but has just moved ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: I contacted my Aspie ex |
| Anngables |
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Posted: 22 Aug 2019, 4:41 am
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Replies: 20
Views: 1,418
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| It’s all so difficult. . . . I have a friend (not romantic) and yet I find it so difficult to understand or read the signs even after 4yrs . . .we are getting better. We had a major bust up last year and didn’t speak for 6 months, , , ,, ,, ,we have nice times now . . .bit it does often feel like I’... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Is he only playing the Aspie? |
| Anngables |
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Posted: 22 Aug 2019, 4:23 am
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Replies: 65
Views: 2,093
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| If it helps I have a married aspie friend who gave out all those signals at the beginning. . . . . . . .he has also done the same with other women I know, but is totally shocked when people say he is leading them on. . . . . . . .for the record also it only lasts for a certain length of time. I thin... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Are Friendships Just Business Transactions? |
| Anngables |
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Posted: 24 Jun 2019, 2:28 am
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Replies: 26
Views: 1,315
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| I think possibly we have both learned lessons |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Are Friendships Just Business Transactions? |
| Anngables |
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Posted: 23 Jun 2019, 10:09 am
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Replies: 26
Views: 1,315
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| No, I don't think his behavior had anything to be with a spectrumite and it really was not an excuse to treat you like that. I think his behavior sounds more "Human" because things can be one-sided. This is the million dollar question. Most of my friends get cross with me and say “stop ma... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Are Friendships Just Business Transactions? |
| Anngables |
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Posted: 22 Jun 2019, 4:41 am
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Replies: 26
Views: 1,315
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| Also he always surrounds himself with females and avoids males. I think maybe early bullying may have made him wary? |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Are Friendships Just Business Transactions? |
| Anngables |
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Posted: 22 Jun 2019, 4:31 am
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Replies: 26
Views: 1,315
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| I don’t think there was ever sexual tension. I think i was his “special interest” for a while? Possibly? Bombarding me with attention. . . . Then when that suddenly turns and stops, and you are the one being accused of being too needy, it is very confusing. . . .. . . , |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Are Friendships Just Business Transactions? |
| Anngables |
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Posted: 22 Jun 2019, 3:59 am
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Replies: 26
Views: 1,315
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| No sexual tension. . . . . . . I don’t think he sees the friendship in that way now. . . .. He has done some really nice things for me recently that he didn’t “need” to do. I think we have just learnt a lot better how to manage a friendship of two very different people. I find it interesting tho tha... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Are Friendships Just Business Transactions? |
| Anngables |
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Posted: 21 Jun 2019, 11:08 pm
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Replies: 26
Views: 1,315
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| Nt perspective. . . . . I have struggled for 4yrs to maintain a friendship with a male aspie (I am female) It has often felt from my perspective that he views it as just a business relationship. If he needs or wants something he contacts me to see if I’m available, and then long periods where I hear... |
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