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Message |
Forum: Love and Dating Topic: How do you 'settle'? |
| wkirk |
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Posted: 06 Jan 2010, 9:39 am
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Replies: 61
Views: 6,718
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: How do you 'settle'? |
| wkirk |
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Posted: 06 Jan 2010, 8:47 am
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Replies: 61
Views: 6,718
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| Same problem here, except I’ve aggravated the situation by hanging out with a variety of strippers/bar girls that are physically hot but emotionally/morally empty. Also I’m involved with a less attractive woman more my own age who is a solid human being with compatible values, but doesn’t “do it” fo... |
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Forum: Random Discussion Topic: letting things go - rant |
| wkirk |
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Posted: 21 Dec 2009, 8:21 am
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Replies: 10
Views: 1,400
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| Yea, my Mom used to dump on everyone around – especially family who had to put up with her s**t – whenever she got stressed. That kind of irresponsibility and lack of self awareness wasn’t much fun for our family. She’s passed on now, hope she does better next time around… |
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Forum: Random Discussion Topic: Weird thought |
| wkirk |
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Posted: 19 Dec 2009, 9:39 am
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Replies: 7
Views: 1,237
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| OK, so putting things together to change the mental process. Aspies like me process from a single OC point of view causing boring, literal, linear lectures that alienate NTs. (The used to call me the “little professor” and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a complement.) Developing holo multi-point processi... |
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Forum: Random Discussion Topic: Weird thought |
| wkirk |
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Posted: 18 Dec 2009, 4:31 am
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Replies: 7
Views: 1,237
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| Nara, thanks for your comments. Another operational aspect seems to be neuronal plasticity (adaptability). Aspies may be too mentally flexible, making their self identify a moving target. I could try to explain it more but John Robison does a great job on his blog http://jerobison.blogspot.com/ BTW ... |
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Forum: Random Discussion Topic: Weird thought |
| wkirk |
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Posted: 16 Dec 2009, 3:24 pm
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Replies: 7
Views: 1,237
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| This is probably going to seem weird, but here goes anyway. Been thinking about how thinking works – which parts of my brain structure are involved. Seems like my AS, literal, linear, single-track thinking has an anatomical correlate – it is based in one spot/system. The opposite would be like holog... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Losing Interest in girls |
| wkirk |
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Posted: 16 Dec 2009, 8:46 am
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Replies: 24
Views: 13,019
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| A lot of ASers think in pictures – I know I do. So porn is a natural. The problem is that this medium is so powerful (and manageable) that it replaces the real deal. When I discontinued, my libido tanked also. Still trying to figure out what’s next though… |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: "You can't love another until you love yourself" |
| wkirk |
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Posted: 15 Dec 2009, 12:29 pm
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Replies: 51
Views: 9,890
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| Loving self would be great but I’d settle for just not being so self-critical. Like not beating myself up for past mistakes… However, has not prevented me from forming relationships, just drastically limits their duration. Probably makes me not much fun to partner with. I’m gaining more self accepta... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: "Just be yourself"? |
| wkirk |
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Posted: 09 Dec 2009, 9:39 am
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Replies: 35
Views: 4,381
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The extreme choices seem to be:
Be yourself vs. if you want to adopt a behavior “act as if” you already have it.
Perhaps both (or a mixture of the two) are appropriate, depending on circumstances.
Either way you have to know yourself and what you are capable of or it won’t work. |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: Why I hate myself |
| wkirk |
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Posted: 23 Nov 2009, 1:35 pm
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Replies: 8
Views: 1,719
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| Obviously self hatred is a barrier to participation in life. How can you participate in life while hating the “you” that is doing it? Thanks for your clear description of this human condition - it’s not unusual as you might think. Assuming that we’re sent here to participate in life, overcoming the ... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: Embarrassed to be here |
| wkirk |
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Posted: 17 Nov 2009, 1:53 am
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Replies: 9
Views: 1,402
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| Thanks all for your replies. Nice to know someone cares. Aimless – specially would like to learn to laugh at myself. Luckily I’m now dating a woman who is really good at that, so maybe it will rub off. PD – like you said also need to remember to let it go, move on. FC – good one : ) OP – right. Gues... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: Embarrassed to be here |
| wkirk |
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Posted: 16 Nov 2009, 3:10 am
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Replies: 9
Views: 1,402
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| My life can be so embarrassing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m actually rather successful in spite of myself. I have a career, live independently and at times feel quite OK. But then I have these embarrasing moments and then, worse yet, have flash backs to them. Like the time in a restaurant when I went to... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: The Problem with Western Men is.... |
| wkirk |
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Posted: 12 Nov 2009, 9:51 am
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Replies: 126
Views: 17,038
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| My ex use to comment that my karmic debt was to return as a conscientious female. So, you could add lack of ethics to the list of what’s wrong with us. But I’d suggest that western women, while criticizing males, are rapidly adopting/exaggerating male behavior. Check out the movie “Deception,” Demi ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Mood swings and relationships. |
| wkirk |
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Posted: 10 Nov 2009, 2:44 pm
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Replies: 31
Views: 5,958
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| Actually it sounds like you handled the break-up well for a beginner. Having been through the cycle more times than I can count, here’s what I think. Getting really attached to a relationship – making it necessary for survival – is an issue. Holding on that tight is a negative for the relationship a... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: The Problem with Western Men is.... |
| wkirk |
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Posted: 09 Nov 2009, 9:11 am
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Replies: 126
Views: 17,038
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| Well, we’re kind of a culture of dissatisfaction and our relationships are a victim. When everyone is always looking for a better deal….. Not advocating settling but sometimes good enough works. |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Friend or Not? |
| wkirk |
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Posted: 03 Nov 2009, 8:47 am
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Replies: 9
Views: 1,453
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| Sounds like she’s deliberately jerking your chain. Which means she’s not a very nice person. When someone uses their power to hurt me I’ve found it best to avoid them. Since you can’t avoid her physically, just don’t engage. Don’t be rude but avoid talking with her (OOPs, I’m in a hurry right now, s... |
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