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Message |
Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Struggling with new relationship |
| hydrozoa |
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Posted: 27 Jul 2017, 9:15 pm
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Replies: 3
Views: 648
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| my boyfriend and i are both AS and i have only recently been able to fully grok that it's nothing personal when he wants alone time, after four years. like it took me at least three years. so yeah, this is going to be difficult with an NT. FWIW, i think the thing that i needed to hear from him the w... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Aspie BF is upset that I moved nearby, might dump me? |
| hydrozoa |
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Posted: 17 Jul 2017, 8:12 pm
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Replies: 14
Views: 966
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| Also, does anyone have any advice on how long I should wait for this to normalize? It's been about a month and a half and he's still being squirrelly/anxious/depressed, which is OK, but I'm wondering how long it should take before I start to really worry. Three months? Six? |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Aspie BF is depressed and never initiates dates |
| hydrozoa |
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Posted: 17 Jul 2017, 5:33 pm
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Replies: 1
Views: 430
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| My boyfriend and I are both on the spectrum and he's had really bad depression for a few months. He's always been depressed/anxious, with extreme flare-ups every couple years, and this is one of them. We've been fighting a lot because he's been frustrated and quick to yell at me, and I have anxiety.... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Aspie BF is upset that I moved nearby, might dump me? |
| hydrozoa |
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Posted: 14 Jul 2017, 9:30 pm
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Replies: 14
Views: 966
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| I think he's just having anxiety attacks due to the change. IMO It's a control issue - not that he wants to control you, or the relationship, but that he's afraid the change and proximity may cause him to lose control of his routines and his personal space. Just tread lightly and give him plenty of... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Aspie BF is upset that I moved nearby, might dump me? |
| hydrozoa |
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Posted: 14 Jul 2017, 9:26 pm
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Replies: 14
Views: 966
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| He sounds scared. I don't blame you for the thought of backing off and saying you are busy and can't hang out. That sounds like playing games and I don't like to do that. I'd rather be honest about what's going on, but then again people say I should do stuff like that. Take care of yourself. Maybe ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Aspie BF is upset that I moved nearby, might dump me? |
| hydrozoa |
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Posted: 10 Jul 2017, 3:10 pm
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Replies: 14
Views: 966
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| OK, well, then he doesn't have "paranoia" but an intense fear of the worst possible outcome happening, as a result of being unable to read social cues. He calls it paranoia and blames it on autism, so I took his word for it. You could also just call it anxiety, I suppose. |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Aspie BF is upset that I moved nearby, might dump me? |
| hydrozoa |
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Posted: 08 Jul 2017, 1:13 pm
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Replies: 14
Views: 966
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| "Paranoia isn't a characteristic of autism. In fact if someone had both ASD characteristics and paranoia, they would more likely be diagnosed with a schizophrenia spectrum disorder." Hmm, I've seen it on symptom lists. I also have a female friend with ASD who has paranoia pretty bad. Inter... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Aspie BF is upset that I moved nearby, might dump me? |
| hydrozoa |
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Posted: 07 Jul 2017, 8:12 pm
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Replies: 14
Views: 966
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| Hmm. That's not hard to do, but it seems a little bit disingenuous. I'd be fine with just agreeing to take some time off, though. Like even a week. He wouldn't agree to that--said it seemed too official or too premeditated or something like that. Maybe I should just do it under the pretense that I'm... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Aspie BF is upset that I moved nearby, might dump me? |
| hydrozoa |
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Posted: 07 Jul 2017, 6:13 pm
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Replies: 14
Views: 966
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| My boyfriend and I are both on the spectrum, and after four years of dating, I've moved to a new apartment on his block. He has severe depression/anxiety and I have anxiety as well, and there have been communication problems and fights over the years, but it's really good about 80% of the time. (Thi... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Depressed Aspie boyfriend--how to help? |
| hydrozoa |
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Posted: 12 Aug 2015, 5:46 pm
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Replies: 8
Views: 840
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| I really do appreciate your replies! And your honesty. :) He tried to see two different therapists and didn't like them (to be fair, one said she'd refuse to treat him because he drinks alcohol a few times a week and she considers it "using," and the other tried to put some electrodes on h... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Depressed Aspie boyfriend--how to help? |
| hydrozoa |
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Posted: 12 Aug 2015, 5:29 pm
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Replies: 8
Views: 840
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| Thanks. Yeah, we share a ton of interests, but the problem is that he doesn't want to do them. He wants to lie on the couch and complain to me and feel sad. I can't get him up off the couch a lot of the time. I'm expected to comfort him, but I don't know how. And yeah, he gets upset when I say, &quo... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Depressed Aspie boyfriend--how to help? |
| hydrozoa |
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Posted: 12 Aug 2015, 5:13 pm
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Replies: 8
Views: 840
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| Hi, My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over two years. He's a 44-year-old Aspie with a very stressful job, and he's been really depressed about it. I'm 35, F, and probably on the spectrum too (I'm working on getting a diagnosis), and I don't know what to say when he's depressed. It's e... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Aspie girlfriend not replying |
| hydrozoa |
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Posted: 08 Dec 2013, 3:33 am
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Replies: 8
Views: 4,244
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| Man, I feel for you--the Aspie guy I'm dating does EXACTLY this kind of thing. All I can tell you is that his lack of replying almost always means nothing. He just gets distracted, usually with work, and forgets to write back. I know that Aspies are all different and so I don't want to surmise that ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Do single women exist on wrong planet? |
| hydrozoa |
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Posted: 07 Dec 2013, 2:46 pm
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Replies: 160
Views: 8,224
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| I'm technically a single lady. I suspect I'm a little older than most of the guys on here, though (I'm 33), but yeah. |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: haven't seen Aspie guy in a while but can't tell what's up |
| hydrozoa |
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Posted: 05 Dec 2013, 4:51 pm
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Replies: 8
Views: 1,004
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| Thanks for your responses, guys. I think I was asking him out to group activities because I was trying to save face and act cool, like it's no big deal, rather than asking him out on an obvious one-on-one date. But now I see how that might be harder for him. Anyway, he commented on a Facebook invite... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: haven't seen Aspie guy in a while but can't tell what's up |
| hydrozoa |
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Posted: 04 Dec 2013, 1:09 am
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Replies: 8
Views: 1,004
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| I'm F, 33, POSSIBLE Aspie (working on getting a diagnosis of some kind--it could just be an anxiety disorder, but I've recently tested really high on the Ritvo and AQ tests), and I've been dating an Aspie guy for about six months. In the beginning, he would never ask me out, said he'd been rejected ... |
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