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Message |
Forum: The Haven Topic: scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now? |
| BuyerBeware |
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Posted: 23 Feb 2018, 1:46 pm
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Replies: 35,404
Views: 1,885,665
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I'm sick of being scared.
I want the fear to stop.
I want to live without being scared all the time. Not because I'm successfully avoiding it, but because I'm NOT AFRAID.
I want to do it without being drugged sick and numb.
It's never going to happen, is it?? |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Describe your autism in one word |
| BuyerBeware |
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Posted: 23 Feb 2018, 1:43 pm
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Replies: 125
Views: 5,131
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FEAR.
I am going to be afraid forever.
Afraid of being rejected.
Afraid that I'll have to keep 'passing' forever.
Afraid that I won't be able to, and I'll be found out.
Afraid to leave my house.
Afraid to do the simplest things.
FEAR. |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Parents grieving autism |
| BuyerBeware |
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Posted: 19 Feb 2018, 10:13 am
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Replies: 74
Views: 3,601
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| I gather that quite a few "normal" people/parents have a head full of hopes and dreams and goals and expectations (fantasies, basically) about how having kids will be and what their kids will be like, even before they ever conceive a child. Every parent (or every basically sane parent, any... |
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Forum: Women's Discussion Topic: The childless choice |
| BuyerBeware |
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Posted: 08 Jan 2018, 11:37 am
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Replies: 87
Views: 8,813
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| The way American society treats kids and parenthood is just weird. On one hand, we encourage people to spoil kids rotten, give them all the things and very little responsibility, as if they’re not going to be adults someday or as if the knowledge of how to adult is going to materialize with their fi... |
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Forum: Women's Discussion Topic: Calling All Autistic Mothers! |
| BuyerBeware |
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Posted: 08 Jan 2018, 10:57 am
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Replies: 9
Views: 903
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| I have 4 kids between 17 and 5. Can’t say how they’re going to turn out. They’re not grown yet. The hardest things for me to deal with have been the lack of personal time and space (you can get it, but you have to ask for it— make that take it— and there is a whole world out there that will guilt th... |
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Forum: Women's Discussion Topic: Obedience - Aspie Women |
| BuyerBeware |
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Posted: 08 Jan 2018, 10:41 am
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Replies: 19
Views: 1,261
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| I’m not obedient by nature, but I’ve forced myself to learn to be. Not having much social capital and not being good at playing mind games, it seems like the only way to keep relationships. Plus I want to stay married, and the fact is that men NEED to be dominant. They are hardwired to see dissent a... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now? |
| BuyerBeware |
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Posted: 04 Jan 2018, 3:18 pm
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Replies: 35,404
Views: 1,885,665
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Feel so guilty for not being normal.
So sick of feeling guilty for not being normal. |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Should a law be passed to prevent procreation of children? |
| BuyerBeware |
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Posted: 22 Dec 2017, 7:09 pm
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Replies: 65
Views: 1,808
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| Well, since I've seen folks without a diagnosis, who certainly appear to be "normal," f**k their kids up royally... And I've seen disabled people who were called freaks by all and sundry do such a good job of raising their kids that said children beat all the odds laid out for them by gene... |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: Dangourous Growing up in the 60’s and 70’s |
| BuyerBeware |
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Posted: 19 Dec 2017, 12:13 pm
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Replies: 42
Views: 2,050
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| LOL I was an '80s kid, but Grandma always said West Virginia was 30 years behind the times. I remember all of those things except chasing the DDT truck and riding in a Pinto. We had an old Plymouth from the early '70s, not a Pinto. And we paddled around in the creek, in raw sewage and coal mine runo... |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: 9.12.2016, My Personal 9.11.2001 |
| BuyerBeware |
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Posted: 19 Dec 2017, 12:04 pm
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Replies: 9
Views: 754
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| If it makes any additional difference, my grandmother's life ended in what was half a Hospice-managed death at home, half an assisted suicide (congestive heart failure, multiple organ failure, possibly some kind of blood cancer... basically she was very, very old and everything except her mind was j... |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: 9.12.2016, My Personal 9.11.2001 |
| BuyerBeware |
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Posted: 19 Dec 2017, 11:58 am
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Replies: 9
Views: 754
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| Sounds pretty normal, with the emotional rollercoaster. Other than maintaining the reserve necessary to preserve your ability to make your own decisions in this fucktarded society, I'd guess that it's perfectly OK to mourn the hell out of the ending of your physical life. I mean, MERRY HELL!! Words ... |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: My Folks Are All Dead... |
| BuyerBeware |
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Posted: 19 Dec 2017, 11:44 am
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Replies: 3
Views: 385
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| ...or else I've pretty much cut ties with them. And it's kind of a relief. I mean, we had good relationships. GREAT relationships, in some cases. I was really fortunate in my parents, grandparents, et cetera. They had their pathologies and faults (everyone does), but they were remarkably sane in the... |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: 9.12.2016, My Personal 9.11.2001 |
| BuyerBeware |
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Posted: 19 Dec 2017, 11:24 am
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Replies: 9
Views: 754
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I'm sorry you have to go through this. You sure seem to have your head on remarkably plumb and level about it all. Hope when my time comes I can do so well.
Where-ever the road goes from here, walk well. |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent |
| BuyerBeware |
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Posted: 05 Dec 2017, 11:53 am
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Replies: 4,957
Views: 543,723
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| Dear You, I've spent the last 10 years trying to earn your... what?? Love?? You say I love you and you put your penis in me a lot, so I guess that's not it. Kindness?? Friendship?? Whatever it is, where I can talk to you about whatever is on my mind, and you might not agree, but you won't mock me an... |
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Forum: Work and finding a Job Topic: Job Tips |
| BuyerBeware |
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Posted: 29 Nov 2017, 4:07 pm
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Replies: 35
Views: 1,117
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AMEN.
Do your job, work harder than 75% of everyone else, follow all the rules no matter how much of the rest of the workforce is breaking them.
DO NOT TRY TO PLAY THE SOCIAL GAME. You're not there to make friends. Keep your head down, and your mouth shut. |
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Forum: Work and finding a Job Topic: Don't Want To Work For A Living |
| BuyerBeware |
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Posted: 29 Nov 2017, 4:03 pm
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Replies: 22
Views: 1,336
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| Depending on your passion, you may or may not be able to turn it into a paying job. Love machines?? Air conditioners are your breath of life?? Plumbing makes your world go 'round?? Fascinated by the way computers work?? Intrigued by germs?? Fascinated by biology?? That's a career. Enthralled by vide... |
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