Is there any point to facing your fears? Examples?

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Yea, I waited 8 years.. not a pleasant experience to learn that there are like 8 visits waiting for me
jag bor i Falun men härstammar från Lycksele Du?

Yea, I waited 8 years.. not a pleasant experience to learn that there are like 8 visits waiting for me
jag bor i Falun men härstammar från Lycksele Du?[/quote]


8 visits?! Usch då :S Jag bor i Spanien nu men ser Luleå som min hemstad. Go Norrland!

1 per year

jag är född i Luleå

I'm glad I could help you feel more comfortable here. It's definitely good when you realize the other person understands where you're coming from a bit. I totally understand the "one extreme to the next," ha ha.

From one extreme to the next, yeah.. I already feel like I´ve posted too much. How do you remove a post?

In the top right corner of your posts there should be an "edit" button. If you select all the text and delete it, I think it will get rid of the whole thing, or just leave a "post deleted" message. I think you can actually remove a thread if you were the OP (original poster), but there may be rules for if other people have participated or not. I deleted one once that no one had commented on yet.

I also think that there is a time limit, something like four days, after which you can no longer edit or delete a post.

If it's very important, you might be able to request a moderator to delete it for you.

I´ve tried to do it like you said, clicking edit and removing the text, but when I press "submit" it says "You must enter a message when posting".
Right now it´s not so terrible that I have to have the post deleted, but I want to know that you can do it if you want to, preferably without having to contact any mod..

Hi IreneS,
Welcome to Wrong Planet.

This song sums up some good advice:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkOympYTk3Q[/youtube]

Thanks

I've not read any of this thread except the OP. I have a story that I could tell you that has taken me 12 years to get my head around. Its a boy meets girl story but its too personal for me to disclose.

The aprehension that you had for making a post was the apprehension which made my encounter so pivotal for me. I was at university at the time.

However because I hid from the pain and fear, it kind of backfired and I ended up shutting down emotionally, like your mind erases events which occured to protect yourself.

Some other people took advantage of this and I ened up disillusioned when I gained my degree having remembered events and spoke to this girl.

TBH looking back at it I think she had aspergers too, she was on an electronics degree course which is kinda geeky.

Now 12 years later I unfortunatley have no job in electronics and have had a few experiences in the funny farm.

The upside is I that now my see what went wrong and have the knowledge that she wasn't just trying to hurt me personally, but events occurred + the oppotunity was lost through my inaction.

This could have happened to anyone but to an aspie, it could hit harder. Not only do u have to deal with the win/loss in love that everyone has to but its more puzzling from having poor social awareness.

Sorry if this post offends anyone, its just a personal account not the opinion of WrongPlanet.

I don´t quite understand this post. Was speaking to this girl facing a fear of yours? It gets kind of confusing when you give an example that you´re not willing to give the details of.

I had fear talking to most people my whole life. I was only diagnosed with aspergers at 30 something. People can be so unforgiving when they are not getting the normal signals back from you. So when speaking to a girl was involved I was guarded.

I tried to keep it concise just because aspies have a tendancy to ramble on a bit.



I had already been in the same year on the course for a callender year. She had walked past me while I was chatting to someone, and said hello twice. I had a "friend" who I felt confortable with and was the one I mostly talked with. She was talking to him, and this was like a red flag to a bull - I propositioned (this is a polite way of saying I was very blunt and to the point with her). After a while she accepted and I turned away and began walking away with my "friend".

I forgot about this encounter! Why? because it took its toll on my nerves, I have a mild form of epilepsy. She was friendly to me but I remained aloof because I had no memory of this event.

Then I recieved comments about a party from my "friend" and that he could not climax with a girl, and I told him it was probably all the steroids he'd taken. He almost punched me.

Then I heard from 2 other guys in my class that they had had a threesome. I was uninterested in their tale.

I once walked into a lecture to find 4 of my class mates pointing and poking this girl, and I decided not to take any notice, again since I had no memory of the first event.

I became withdrawn, not going out clubbing on the weekend.

I could go on but why keep stoning a dead carcas?

So my memories came back and I put 2 + 2 together to figure out what went on.

Oh and another time my "friend" lead me to the middle of the campus where I encountered this girl and she declaired that the male standing next to her was her boyfriend. I was sheepish still at that time having no memory of the first incident.

Moral of the story is that some people are sharks and will eat aspies for breakfast. While others will hurt you for your own good, tough love.

I think that men and women will find a partner but then find someone they like more and trade models.

Disclaimer: Experiences of a socially awkward aspie, your mileage may vary.

I did not concentrate on my studies prefering to use the internet like a play ground, I recieved a pass without honours.

If I have an merit as an aspie its that since 19 I have been a weight lifter (apart from 3 years where I was an MMO addict) and at 37 I feel attractive, hopeful and optimistic. Optimisim is what I value the most in life. I am fortunate to have good parents, some others I see in the streets are less fortunate.

They were poking her and you ignored it? Where are you from?
I have a hard time making any sense of your posts and seeing the connection to the topic. You don´t have to explain if you don´t want to, and I might not understand even if you do, but I didn´t want to just ignore the post.

They were poking her because in the first incident I said "Can I *poke* you?" *poke being physical. I did this because I believed she was trying to make me jealous by talking to my "friend" and prompt me to say more than just hello to her. This reasoning was split second and I acted immediately. I didn't sit down and think how can I be more tactful/romantic, and I was not considering that it could be interpreted in a negative way.

I'm from England, and the fact that it is a foreign language to you could be making it difficult to understand?

I think my post is relevant to the topic because aperger's syndrome cause my fear of social interaction. I think the no.1 most important thing u must do when talking to someone is to look at them because nerotypicals gather alot of information non-verbally. If in doubt smile, you have a lovely smile!

Search this term in google, its the first result : nonverbaltypes

I´m pretty good at american english but I struggle with the british english. I don´t if that´s why I don´t understand your posts that well, I think not because it generally feels different for me not understanding because of the language barrier and not understanding because of "the autistic barrier". I just don´t get a picture of the situations you´re describing. Now, when you write as clearly as you do in the three last paragraphs here, I understand perfectly Thanks for the compliment, I actually do use my smile to ease up the tension in awkward social situations.

I just found a link back here after all this time. I'm so pleased.