I have had a lot of those moments over the past few years. I grew up in a household where both parents were decidedly eccentric, and it wasn't until my youngest brother was formally diagnosed that Asperger's was even in our awareness. My father was diagnosed late in life, at age 61. It was just the way we all were, though, and I had no real barometer against which to compare myself. I knew that I was different, and survived school mostly by mimicking other, socially successful classmates (with varying results). I have since learned that this may be why girls are so less often diagnosed than boys. A quiet, shy girl who keeps to herself isn't considered as much the oddity as a quiet, shy boy. And I found growing up that in general girls will either dislike and reject you and tell you exactly why the way you are acting is wrong, or feel the need to mother and teach you, again telling you why. As a child, all of us 6 siblings did something that is apparently now called stimming? We'd sit on the couch and rock back and forth for hours. We all did it, and my parents apparently did it as children as well, and so they never thought anything odd about it. Often, I'll miss the point when someone NT is trying to say something delicately, or politely, or passive-aggressively. I have had to learn to actively listen for indicators and ask bluntly if what they mean is what I think they mean, and I have also had to learn to play along as though I get it. I have a set limit of how long I can handle loud repetitive noise before I simply cannot cope with it any longer (which really annoys my husband when he is practicing his guitar and I have to leave the room!) There are a lot of other signs as well. I tried to explain to my husband, who is quite neurotypical, what it was like and is still like for me, but I find it very hard to describe it in a way that makes it apparent for him! All I can do is fall back on "It's just different!"
03 May 2012, 10:31 am
