Diagnosed aged 56

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I lost my job last year following 30 years of employment after I became depressed as a consequence of unrequited feelings for a younger colleague whom I had become convinced reciprocated my feelings. I was initially diagnosed with depression and OCD but this was later modified to Asperger syndrome and bipolar affective disorder type II. My psychiatrist's report made it very clear that my "disability" caused the behaviour which resulted in my sacking (little more than sending a box of chocolates and a few rather pathetic apologetic e-mails) but this did not win the day at my employment tribunal, who ruled that my behaviour was only excused by my disability up to the point when the gift was returned and I self referred to a psychotherapist (after that point, the judge said, I knew what I had done was harassment, so my behaviour was wilful wrongdoing, hence a sackable offence).

The court hearing, at which I represented myself (the other side had a team of five lawyers), has served the very useful purpose of getting the whole episode out of my system and without the incident I may never have seen a psychiatrist and been diagnosed. Now that I have been, I understand much better why I have always felt different and have had such difficulty, especially with close relationships. I have been fortunate to have saved enough money in the course of my employment to be able to take early retirement and, against the odds, I did succeed with one relationship with the result that I am still married after 23 years and have two wonderful children.

I have a number of interests which I get very absorbed by and tend to switch between. These include restoring old buildings, interior design, making and restoring furniture, woodcarving, clock repair, bookbinding, tailoring and shirt making (my current preoccupation), family history and gardening. I am an accountant by profession, a job I have never really enjoyed. With plenty of time now to pursue my interests and a fuller understanding of who I am I now feel unreservedly positive about the future.

a whole new branch of industry on the horizon; age-diagnosing (sorry)

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

However, I do not think that it is right to go after someone else when you are still married if I read your post correctly. That seems very allistic in my opinion.

I agree it was wrong but I became obsessed so quickly I felt unable to extract myself and act appropriately. This kind of thing had happened to me when I was a teenager and in my early 20s but never since I got married - in fact I thought I had been "cured". When I told my wife what had happened and that I had made a terrible mistake she was remarkably understanding.

Hey Pheon welcome.

Welcome, - I was diagnosed in my fifties too