Do You Like/Love Being Autistic?
Nah. I don't really get anything good out of it. I'm not particularly smart or good at anything, no hidden talents or anything like that. Everything I've done academic-wise has been difficult to learn in the first place and I just scrape by.
Sensory overloads happen somewhat frequently and I sure could do without that. I could also do without my lack of social graces with family and fellow students/teachers.
I like being able to be happy with solitude, which it seems like is a struggle for NT's. I like being able to hyper-focus on things that are important and not have to be constantly caught up in stupid petty NT nonsense. I like being able to make decisions based on reason.
I don't like having to experiences the world as an excruciatingly loud place where I'm constantly having to avoid stimuli. It would be nice to be able to go to a store without feeling like I need to run out before I can get what I need because the store is so overwhelming.
_________________
I am a student doing a research study on experiences of people who have tried to get an autism diagnosis as adults. Participating only involves filling out one questionnaire. If you are interested, please contact me at [email protected]. Thanks.
I did not know I was "in the spectrum" until after age 45. Prior to the diagnosis, I hated myself and everything I was experiencing in life, nothing made sense and I never felt like I had any place on this planet. Now that I have a grip on this Autism thingy, I feel a lot more like I can just be myself. That there are so many more aware people out there makes it a lot nicer to do that. I wish I knew my diagnosis decades ago, I would have been able to keep my mouth disciplined like I can now, I would have an appreciation for my quirks rather than a terror of them, and I think I would have navigated relationships better (if I had the therapists I now have back then when I needed a universe translator!). The love I have for my situation is a big one - it takes a huge heart to love this situation. My heart had to grow to be able to love this, but once I could, I did, and now I'm loving life even if there are some hard knocks still. Things make sense through my new lenses of awareness a lot more easily and things that still don't make sense to me actually shouldn't make sense to anyone, so I have a different sort of confidence. I can explain that more if necessary, maybe people will know what I mean when I say that. There is a certain flat rationality I have learned to appreciate about my autism - I see things sometimes very clearly when others do not. I like that. Wouldn't trade it in for easy popularity or being able to blend in with others who I just can't relate to the way I am!
Being both an Aspie and a chemist by training, I'll let the good doctor Becher speak for me:
_________________
"I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are the good people and the bad people," said the man. "You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides."
-- Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
Yes! I am thrilled to be who I am. Yes, there are challenges and yes, there have been very difficult times. But my life has been a great experience overall. And like others have said, I realize others have had a much more difficult time then I and I certainly understand that point of view too.
_________________
The river is the melody
And sky is the refrain - Gordon Lightfoot
This is one of my favorite things I’ve read in a long time!
_________________
First it was impossible, then it was hard work, then it was done.
I felt like you told my story in a better way than I ever could. Don’t you wish we had resources like WP back when we were young? I would have given anything to meet someone who even vaguely understood my perspective.
_________________
First it was impossible, then it was hard work, then it was done.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Autistic Love Songs |
08 May 2024, 4:31 am |
A counterpoint to Autistic Supremacy? Autistic Inferiority? |
26 Feb 2024, 1:46 pm |
Being gay vs autistic! |
21 Apr 2024, 12:09 pm |
At 17, she found out she was autistic. |
16 Feb 2024, 9:12 am |