L & D - To What Extent Can We Discuss Gender Differences?
I don’t know the exact reasons for your experience, but women do ask guys out. Making this about gender excludes the experiences of many women.
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"Les grandes personnes ne comprennent jamias rien toutes seules, et c'est fatigant, pour les enfants, de toujours et toujours leur donner des explications." - Le Petit Prince
When people say: “most women don’t approach guys” or “it’s easier for women because…” it excludes the experience of many women. It’s as though our experience as individuals doesn’t matter because it doesn’t fit in to some supposed statistic.
Most of us have ASD and are exceptions to a variety of rules and social mores. We should be used to that way of thinking and be more inclusive in the way we approach topics.
_________________
"Les grandes personnes ne comprennent jamias rien toutes seules, et c'est fatigant, pour les enfants, de toujours et toujours leur donner des explications." - Le Petit Prince
- Desperate - If I feel like a guy is primarily interested in sex rather than in me as a person, it’s going to be a no-go.
- Nothing in common
- Incompatibility (no fundamentalists or conservatives for me)
- Does not seem interested in me - Conversational skills could help here. If a guy doesn’t ask me any questions about myself, I would assume that he’s not interested.
- Boring
- No sense of humor
- Negative attitude in general and/or towards women
- Desperate - If I feel like a guy is primarily interested in sex rather than in me as a person, it’s going to be a no-go.
- Nothing in common
- Incompatibility (no fundamentalists or conservatives for me)
- Does not seem interested in me - Conversational skills could help here. If a guy doesn’t ask me any questions about myself, I would assume that he’s not interested.
- Boring
- No sense of humor
- Negative attitude in general and/or towards women
That’s a good one!
Another one would be touchy-feeliness (which is often combined with the action you mentioned). Gross.
_________________
"Les grandes personnes ne comprennent jamias rien toutes seules, et c'est fatigant, pour les enfants, de toujours et toujours leur donner des explications." - Le Petit Prince
Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 05 Aug 2022, 9:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
I certainly didn’t say it’s “easier” for women.
I would certainly listen to a woman’s experience in this realm, and not shrug her off. Shrugging her off would be nonsense. I’m all ears!
Women have gone through lots of crap. And it’s very difficult for many women to find a suitable partner. It’s irrelevant whether women evoke overt interest from men. It doesn’t mean too much qualitatively if a woman is abused based on that interest.
Of course you know I wasn’t quoting any statistics. Just my experience.
I haven’t really evoked that sort of desire in a woman. I’m not lamenting this. That’s just the way it is. It’s my job to offset this so I could find love.
I don’t think I’m following your train of thought here.
How is that applicable to the current conversation?
_________________
"Les grandes personnes ne comprennent jamias rien toutes seules, et c'est fatigant, pour les enfants, de toujours et toujours leur donner des explications." - Le Petit Prince
- Desperate - If I feel like a guy is primarily interested in sex rather than in me as a person, it’s going to be a no-go.
- Nothing in common
- Incompatibility (no fundamentalists or conservatives for me)
- Does not seem interested in me - Conversational skills could help here. If a guy doesn’t ask me any questions about myself, I would assume that he’s not interested.
- Boring
- No sense of humor
- Negative attitude in general and/or towards women
As a man, it always made me feel sad when it became obvious that a woman was interested in me only for my property (new car, nice house), apparent wealth (nice suit, albeit second-hand), and career/position (lead engineer).
It is often said to guys when they only seem to be emphasizing the body (objectification).
It’s said when a woman wants a guy to stop staring at her breasts. I’ve never said it because I think it could be dangerous.
_________________
"Les grandes personnes ne comprennent jamias rien toutes seules, et c'est fatigant, pour les enfants, de toujours et toujours leur donner des explications." - Le Petit Prince
- Desperate - If I feel like a guy is primarily interested in sex rather than in me as a person, it’s going to be a no-go.
- Nothing in common
- Incompatibility (no fundamentalists or conservatives for me)
- Does not seem interested in me - Conversational skills could help here. If a guy doesn’t ask me any questions about myself, I would assume that he’s not interested.
- Boring
- No sense of humor
- Negative attitude in general and/or towards women
As a man, it always made me feel sad when it became obvious that a woman was interested in me only for my property (new car, nice house), apparent wealth (nice suit, albeit second-hand), and career/position (lead engineer).
That would be frustrating.
_________________
"Les grandes personnes ne comprennent jamias rien toutes seules, et c'est fatigant, pour les enfants, de toujours et toujours leur donner des explications." - Le Petit Prince
"One way or another, they'll be lookin' at my eyes!" she said.
Last edited by Fnord on 05 Aug 2022, 10:15 am, edited 2 times in total.
That's what I said above, in essence. That the man should stop ogling the woman.
I wouldn't get all bent out of shape if a woman said this to me. Even if I wasn't actually looking at her breasts, I would concede the point.
But I can understand a woman's reticence, since there are other guys who might react too strongly to this. I can understand a woman not wanting to feel like they're going through a minefield. I wouldn't want that for myself.
It doesn’t really bother me that much anymore. Women get used to it, but most would not ask men out who did this unless they were similarly desperate for sex. I don’t fully understand this because I think masturbation would be preferable, but whatever. We’re all different, I suppose.
_________________
"Les grandes personnes ne comprennent jamias rien toutes seules, et c'est fatigant, pour les enfants, de toujours et toujours leur donner des explications." - Le Petit Prince
"One way or another, they'll be lookin' at my eyes!" she said.
_________________
"Les grandes personnes ne comprennent jamias rien toutes seules, et c'est fatigant, pour les enfants, de toujours et toujours leur donner des explications." - Le Petit Prince
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