Fed up with this program (teachers education program)

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At least this time it seemed like there was an effort to try to help me be successful before getting rid of me. The weird thing is those, all my performance evaluations were at the very least acceptable. My biggest mistake was confusing two types of writing, hardly a grave mistake. I don't get it. The kids are learning, they aren't being abused, I show up early and leave late (except the days where I am forced to leave early by circumstances beyond my control that the program forced upon me), my lesson plans are all done several days ahead of when they need to be, etc. Does it really matter that my nonverbal communication isn't up to par? That I give off an "air of worriedness". That sometimes I don't get the social context involved when my co-workers are talking. Is that really more important than the kids learning, and generally speaking seeming to enjoy my teaching them? This is twice now that they give me to a teacher that has almost no experience working with HFA, and I am going into special education! *Sighs* no clue if I want to try this again (if they will even let me) or what, if that happens I want a teacher with at least some experience with autism, because this won't work again.

Ask yourself why you're going through this and what you hope to get out of it. If this is your passion and something that you're really dedicated to, it might help to remind yourself of why you're doing it. If you can focus on the destination, it can make it easier to look past the crap along the path.

I sympathize with you, though. I used to teach and I absolutely loved it and was passionate about it. However, I would occassionally run into conflicts or disconnects that felt like I'd been tossed down a pit with no support or way out. It's kind of ironic, but I found that the politics and social structures in education were worse than anything that I every encountered in corporate America. You'd think that teachers would have a better understanding of "diversity" and people that learn and socialize differently, but that was never my experience. They may have been able to deal with it in their students, but so many of them were clique-ish and very set in their expectations and ways. On the flip side, there were a few profs that were also obviously HFA and we got along wonderfully. Unfortunately, the way that the state implemented NCLB resulted in me and a lot of other teachers being left behind instead.

I'd suggest that you talk to someone in charge of the program and just be honest with them about your feelings and experiences. Ask for help or advice. It may be that there are alternate programs that might be a better fit or they may be able to hook you up with a more appropriate coach/mentor.

I'm just curious...did you disclose that you're HFA?

Good Luck and hang in there! Special needs kids need mentors who can relate, not just someone who read a 2 page flyer at the beginning of the school year.

Yes I disclosed that I was an aspie, part of that is making me wonder if I have a lawsuit. When the list of concerns I got read like the DSM-IV definition of Asperger's they can't deny that I was fired for being autistic. Especially when you add to that her suggesting that autistics might never be successful in such a social orientated job, and that my college was just taking my money and should have told me that long ago. The other day in this class I am forced to take (but isn't that bad) for students with ASDs I mentioned this to the class and a lot of them agreed that if I was blind of deaf or physically disabled, I wouldn't be criticized for it, but since I am autistic it is okay.

This will sound sexist, but I think part of the program with the social dynamics of education is that it is SO female oriented. Women are able to create far more elaborate social dynamics than men. It is very hard for any men to work in such a setting, but an autistic man... I don't stand a chance.

Right now what I want to do if I can't continue right away (I doubt I can seeing as how I don't think they will count my last 5 weeks and there are like 13 weeks left in the school year, aka not enough time for a full placement), that I am not sure that they will allow me to do, is hold off on student teaching again for at least a year (so like until fall of '13) and in the meantime I will get a para job at one of the few alternative schools in the area (or maybe not even the area... my college is a large university, they might be able to get me a placement say in a bordering state) and I will student teach at that school when the time comes. Not sure if it is possible... but would probably work 10000000 times better.