Lack of direction

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Being an aspie I realized a few things about myself. I wonder if other aspies can relate?

Hate studies: This is surely crippling my professional life, and I know it, but I can't help it. I realized I don't like to formally study anything. It's like I didn't have the patience. I love to learn about what I'm interested in, however, but only by teaching myself, how and when I want it, and only just enough to be able to do what I want. This isn't good for your CV, however.

Paralysis: I could follow maybe three or four careers where I think I would do ok. But I can't concentrate on one and going far inside of that. It's like I'm trying to do three different things at the same time in an unstructured manner so none get the kind of attention or dedication that would propel me forward. It can get to a point where I just stop and can't decide what to do next.

When I think about seeking professional help for these things, like a career mentor or something, I just think: are they going to even understand where I come from? I've been with enough people trying to help me that would just misinterpret me all the time.

your "hate studies" post is pretty typical of someone with AS. Some people are able to learn through formal lectures and reading while others ( usually under 35) are familiar with ( and prefer) online material, youtube and other online interact at your own time and pace type resources to learn. The internet is very kind to those with AS and want to learn.


With regard to the paralysis you experience, I refer to it as inertia. I always have too many things going at once, it is exhausting and none of them seem to get done- I use to have a lot of effort and energy and no focus. Now I spend time planning things before doing them and this includes time. Like all things it can be taught and learned, but needs to be recognised first. The books call it a lack of executive functioning. I called it "all effort and no direction" I now spend a significant amount of time planning things and then learning the discipline to stick to the plan and avoid begin sidetracked.

this investment in planning pays of as the effort i am placing into my work is still significant and now more focussed and more is getting done in the same amount of time.

Yeah good to know that that's typical of AS, makes me even more sure, as I'm not diagnosed.

I learn about all this stuff on the internet and it's positively nothing for a CV, it's like, had I spent my life playing games, the CV would look the same, hard to have this informal content come across in an interview as well.

Yeah that's it, nothing gets finished. Didn't know about the executive functioning deficit - am curious to research that a little.. I never tried serious planning.. What kind do you do? More practical day-to-day stuff or more long-term kind of things?

I find that, while I like having money, working for someone else sucks the life out of me. I don't have the freedom to be myself. If I act on my urges in a job, I am judged or disciplined. Learning institutes tend to be happy to take my money and leave someone else to do the judging, plus universities and such tend to draw some more colourful personalities than standard jobs.

I am trying to learn to program in python so I can get a nice reclusive job, or work as a freelancer as I can't stand being stuck with all these people.