How to improve communication at work

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I work in a leadership position just below the store mangers. Half of my job is back of house stuff like inventory, receiving, organizing, and I love all of that. I was actually an inventory specialist for a while, but got demoted because they said I was too stressed out. No one seemed to understand that I was stressed because I loved the job, and that stress and anxiety are very different. Customer-facing jobs give me anxiety, where back of house duties make me stressed because I know my responsibilities and that it all comes down to my effort. Trying hard isn't enough when you're working with people instead of numbers.

In any case, in the position I'm in now, the other half of my job is to manage people. I'm supposed to ensure that the sales staff take their breaks on time, follow strict protocol (some of which are required by law, and some are company policies even more strict than the law), perform their cleaning duties, give accurate information to customers, and engage in practices that will boost sales. I also have to do performance evaluations on them, coach them when they do something wrong or need improvement, and communicate ongoing issues to management.

I just had my yearly review, and I scored well in categories relating to compliance, policies, organization, etc. But I scored low on leadership, supervision, and judgment. They said I try to take on too many duties and don't delegate minor tasks to the sales staff consistently. They said I don't take opportunities to coach them, and that I don't get directly involved in sales enough. One main reason for all this is that I feel responsible for the back of house duties, and know that I have to get these done before I have time to babysit the sales team. For a while the back of house really did fall on me because two of my teammates were lazy about it, and seemed happy enough staying on the sales floor and interacting with the staff and customers anyway. We have a better team now, and I think I can trust them to work back of house, where I couldn't before. So now that that reason is eliminated, I'm forced to admit that the other reason I don't engage in delegating, coaching, and development is that it gives me crazy anxiety.

I find it very difficult to give criticism, and I don't know how to delegate without seeming bossy, but still make it clear that it's not a request. Honestly I think a lot of it comes down to my tone, word choice, and even body language. If I have to coach on something that actually bothers me, I don't know how to keep that out of my voice. I've been told throughout my life that I say hurtful things without meaning to, that I come off as condescending or aloof. I simply don't know how to fix that. So I've been keeping my head down and doing my best, hoping that will work out better than stepping outside my comfort zone and alienating people.

But it's come to the point where I either need to become a real leader, or find another job. My manager says he sees leadership potential in me, and is confident that we can develop my leadership skills. He wants me to come up with a developmental plan, and I'm stumped. The only thing I can think of that would involve management in my development is running mock situations, where they or I pretend to be the person I have to lead. But this has never worked for me. I've had people coach me on exactly what to say on a phone call that made me way more anxious than it should, and I still can't get it right. One time someone told me exactly what to say, and on the final practice run I couldn't even make the words come out. I would start talking and my throat would just close.
I have a huge fear of alienating myself by saying the wrong things. I know that one tiny sentence can change a life, ruin a relationship, cost a job. That anxiety hangs over me during every interaction at work.

What am I supposed to do? I have to bring a plan to management to show that I want to improve. But I can't think of any plan that would actually help. I have no idea how I can get past this anxiety, and manage my delivery of criticism or delegation so that I don't make worse problems. I'm completely at a loss, and part of me wants to just give up and find a job where I don't have to manage people. But I love where I work, and the benefits are worth it. I just don't know how to talk to my subordinates, and it takes so much mental energy that I usually just avoid it so I can get my other tasks done. I'm also afraid that I'll have to try so hard at this that my work performance will suffer in other areas. I can't spend 20 minutes working up the courage to coach someone, I have other duties. I can't come up with a single concrete plan to fix this, and I worry my manager will think I just didn't try.