Meltdowns lasting for HOURS

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Characterized by non-stop screaming and crying.

Has anyone here experienced it ? How did you deal / cope with this ? It gets overwhelming after some time to have a child SCREAMING and refusing to be comforted / consoled, especially since I am extremely noise-sensitive. Yes, I get that he is probably having a hard time but it's not always about the child. It's also about the enormous stress that such behaviours puts on caregivers.

If you have experienced anything like this, then how have you coped ?

Unfortunately, many people with ASD can perseverate on something for a really long time. Sometimes there is a break and then they re-remember the thing that upset them. Sometimes it can persist/recur even when the initial thing that triggered the meltdown has resolved b/c they remember the feeling or the thing bothers them on principle.

The best thing that works, when communication and reason don't -- is redirection. Try to find happy things your kid is apt to want to fixate on and redirect him to that thing. For us, things my son thought were funny were usually the best b/c for him, often (not always--but often) the humor would overwhelm his tendency to fixate on upsetting things.

When my son was little, this was really hard to do. It is one of those things that got better over time but it still happens more frequently than I would like. It is rarer and generally less intense/long lasting, but he is also harder to redirect now--- so it isn't all easier.

For those days when your last good nerve is gone, and you inches away from doing something you'll regret (like a swat on the rear or screaming at him)...

If his bedroom is safe, put him in there and shut the door. Give him his favorite toy, put on a DVD, anything that might calm him down.

My husband used to go into the bathroom and run the shower to drowned out our daughter when she was teething, and I wasn't there.

Kid in bedroom.
Him in bathroom with shower running.
Timer for 2 mins or whatever ever works for you.

My husband has ASD and severe misophonia. Baby screaming makes him murderous. He can't take it. There were times I had to go out, and she would scream because of the teething/ear ache whatever.

We did this because 1) her bedroom was a safe place. 2) it gave my husband some time to recoop. 5 minutes in the bathroom, check on kid. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

If stimulus just riles him up, the bedroom might work, if there is nothing he can harm himself with.

One day it was really bad, and he had the next door neighbor come over. He had a level 10 migraine and was really losing it. Do you have anyone you can call so you can just get a break for a few minutes outside?

None of this solves the meltdown issue, but it will keep both of you safe in the middle of it during the days you absolutely can not cope with another minute.

I would suggest ear plugs or noise cancelling headphones for yourself. I have always locked myself in my room even though that didn't cut out the screaming. I just couldn't be around it. I have used ear plugs at times or putting my kid in their crib and leaving but my children are small and my son isn't autistic so he is able to leave me alone when I tell him to. I don't have any other advice to give because I also start screaming and freaking out and I get irritable when my kids whine and scream and don't stop and I become the screaming parent and screaming "shut up." It's not like they will just stop when I tell them to and my son also won't stay in his room so I have to hold the door closed while he is fighting to open it and I wonder what am I going to do when he gets bigger and stronger, I won't be able to pull him up the stairs anymore or even hold the door closed but I am sure he wouldn't be having these tantrums by then by the time he gets too heavy and it seems like my son knows how much the whining and screaming bothers me. But yet he will stay in there for his father so all I have to do it get him. And it's not just when he is crying and screaming when he is upset, it's also when he is playing and he feels the need he has to shriek and make noise (kid logic I tell you) so I tell him he doesn't need to be noisy and scream when he plays and he goes "But I want to be noisy" and I tell him it overwhelms me and makes me anxious so I ask him to please stop or do it in his room. I will start throwing punishments at him if he is too noisy or go to his room and do it. He has a choice.

I was also going to suggest making his room safe and putting him in there. My son gets WORSE when someone tries to console him. Once he is in meltdown mode, he needs alone time to get himself back together.

I forget how old he is (5 or 6?), would it help when he is calm to explain to him that the next time he gets really upset that you are going to let him be in his room by himself because that sometimes helps kids like him? Tell him that for some kids, being alone is what helps. Maybe discuss it as a Plan, so that when it happens, you can just calmly tell him that it is time to try the Plan and bring him to his room?

I don't know about noise cancelling headphones. I would actually ask about that in the general forum. I think I have seen it discussed before.

If it is happening more, do you have any idea the trigger? Sometimes harder than the noise (and I am very noise sensitive) is not knowing what to do.....

Those cheap silicone earplugs from the drugstore help reduce the pain of screams. I'm sure the expensive kind are better, just thinking the cheap ones you can buy multiple packs leave them all over the house and in your purse and not searching for your headphones in a crisis because you've always got something.

I've had the same question. The hours-long screaming sessions have diminished for my child with maturity. That doesn't help in the moment, I know. So here are my ideas:

1. Know your child is not alone in having these hours-long meltdowns and you're not alone in need to find ways of dealing with it for yourself.
2. Prevention doesn't always work and for me it felt impossible, but keep trying. OT, swinging, swimming, exercise, deep pressure, see what helps.
3. Sleep also helps enormously. The child. And you. We use melatonin.
4. Get away during the worst of it when you can. I use a top of door lock and have had to walk away before. If another adult can be there, I've left the house to take a break. I know it's not easy to be able to do this.
5. Find what works at the start of a meltdown. For us, it helps to respond immediately, occasionally redirection works.
6. Maturity might help.