Mother jokes about diagnoses in a stupid way

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Before I got my diagnosis and didn´t know what I had my mother use to joke about in a insensitive way. She used to say things like, "oh God please don´t tell me it´s ADHD, every single human on this planet have that nowadays, I don´t believe if they say you have that" and "No, your niece could not have what you have, she´s not stupid... Oh sorry, I didn´t mean you are stupid, I just mean she don´t have the problems you have!".

Oh well, I don´t have adhd but I fear to tell her my real one because she would joke insensitive about that too and I can´t handle it, I go really upset if she would because I had suffer alot in my life alone without her support.

I also was in a fight when I was younger, some stupid man on the airport suddenly decided to knock me in the stomach. I told her about this experience and she just joked again and said "Off course he knocked you down, you stood in his way, you have to see where you are standing" like he was normal (he was a meth-addict).

But why are a adult person do this to her adult child in the first place? Afraid that she´s got it too, or what? I also feel like my siblings avoid the subject, like they are pretending that I´m "normal" when I have difficulties. Things like why I´m not social (because I don´t want to) and stuff like why I can´t work fulltime and so on. I really just want to scream "because I have disabilites, you know this, stop asking me things I already have TOLD you!! !" but I´m too calm on the outside that people think I don´t give a s**t, but I do, I´m just a good actor

Anyone else with this problem or know how I can deal with this?

I have to tell that my mother isn´t always a jerk but when it comes to more heavier things, she´s a complete douchebag, joking herself away

There's no rule that says you have to tell your parents. You have to keep yourself safe.

As for why she's like this, there is certainly a reason. It could very well be that she's autistic or otherwise ND, too. Its like repressed homosexuals running for office under a anti-gay platform. Or it could be that she learned having a harsh sense of humor would keep her involnerable as a child. Anyways. Its not really your business. You can't change her. You can only accept her for who she is.

I find that people who are able to very simply state: "I try not to participate in jokes like that." are usually successful in warding them off eventually. The trick is to not get sucked into explaning why. If you explain why, she'll have a hook for disregarding it. But if you simply make that statement, she's got no where to go with it. I don't participate. I just don't.

My mother use to joke about me like that; not so much anymore because I've deteriorated to the point where it's no longer amusing. I think for my Mom it comes from fear. Fear for me because she knows I am vulnerable. In her way she is trying to correct me and in a strange way accept me for what she sees as imperfect.

Your family may be aware that you are different from them and they may not know how to handle it. It's up to you who you share your diagnosis with; if you do at all.

You can choose whether or not to share your diagnosis. Some people lack the maturity and insight that is needed in order to deal appropriately with these things.