Question for parents of aspies...

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LOL! I remember looking down at my nursing 2 year old, wondering if I would be nursing a preschooler and a kindergartner. I felt slightly panicked about even thinking of weaning her completely because transitions were hard for her. All I could picture was a state of continual meltdowns.

Then one day (it was before she was 2 1/2), she just suddenly stopped nursing. All together. By herself. Would only drink from a sippy cup. Physically pushed me away if I tried to nurse.

BTW, I would consider her autism to be "mild" at this point. She is well compensated. I knew she was "different" from very early on. She was diagnosed at 22 months. Her brother was not diagnosed with anything until he was 7 (NLD, SPD, and ADHD). I had him evaluated by the school district at 5 and they told me he was "bright" and "extremely exuberant," but nothing more. But I knew something was up with him from very early on, too, only because he was my first, I had no idea what to make of it. I just knew he wasn't like the other kids his age. He was a very precocious speaker (although he had hardly any speech before 18 months, but by the age of 3 he spoke like a 5 year old, obvious enough that it drew attention almost everywhere we went), and everyone thought he was exceptionally bright. What I find very interesting is that his sister was diagnosed with classic autism, and at first everyone thought she was rather "slow" (I suspected she had MR before the thought of autism crossed my mind), but she is the one who actually has superior intelligence. He's just "above average."

I am trying to figure out if my 18 month old daughter is like me or if she has the NT disorder.

I have been reading a lot of posts and I think there may be some clues but I would love to hear some more of "I should have known when ____ happened." from some parents that eventually discovered the child was Aspie.

She cried for the first nine months and always fights sleep as if it were death. I can chase her in several circles trying to make eye contact. The habit of banging her head on the wall is very disturbing. She puts cloth over her head and runs until she falls and gets hurt, cries, and then does it again and again. She cries when I get hurt. She was walking at nine months and seems to be completely aware of the fact that she is a baby and of the priveleges that come with it. Her favorite thing to do, and has been for the past six months, is ABCs and counting numbers.

I don't know if any of this is standard baby stuff or not because this is my first child and I never took any interest in kids until I had one. I know there are no sure-fire clues to answer this but that is what I want. Any suggestions, thoughts, comments?

My mother doesn't even know what asperger's is. She thinks I'm lazy and have no willpower.

While this sounds like sarcasm - for those who read this post, IMO, evaluations don't hurt - if there are concerns, no matter what they are, it's OK and not a big deal to have them checked out.

If what you are implying is that parents posting here are trying to get their kids to be NT, I can make an educated guess that no one here wants that. What we want is to give our kids the tools they need to navigate the world and not have to suffer (like I did, as a kid who was born before the diagnosis was available.) There are lots of good things you can do with a young child that don't change an iota of who they are, but that allow them to express their needs and wants in a way that helps other people help them.

If what you're saying is that people shouldn't ask questions about developmental disabilities on a forum dedicated to parenting kids with developmental disabilities...really?

If what you're saying is that you don't want your daughter growing up addicted to Justin Bieber, school dances, makeover parties, Instagram and to eventually have to watch her join a sorority, I have no advice for you

I guess, as momsparky said, when in doubt get an evaluation done. Talk to a doctor about your concerns. I should have, but I didn't. There are things that I know now that my son was doing that were probably ASD-related, but I didn't know they were. So I only saw a few "isolated" things that stood out to me, and while I was concerned, I didn't get concerned enough to get my son evaluated when he was young. More probably would have stood out to a proper therapist.

I am so lost. I have no idea where you got any of that. What are you talking about? I honestly do not know.

I am looking for clues to see if my daughter has Asperger's, like me.

Your saying I should ask her doctor about Asperger's evaluation. That is the only part that made any sense.

I think the point of confusion is your use of "NT Disorder" and is likely to be interpreted as being hostile to NTs or people who are NTish. (The parents here range from NT to Autistic with people identifying at different points on that spectrum) This point is probably obscuring things if you are mainly wanting to ask if your child is showing signs of autism or not.

I don't know much about NT kids, only having the one autistic one, but the thing that stood out for me was the failure to make eye-contact, the unusual level of colicky behaviors/fussing, the lining up of blocks, the fascination with spinning, the stimming, the inability to imitate gestures like the pointing with one-finger milestone (He used two)

A lot of things listed are things that are done by NT babies, but less frequently or in a more moderate way. The "tells" I listed may not appear at all in someone else's listed and they may have things that do not appear in mine. That is a part of what makes the whole thing confusing for new parents---that and pediatricians may not be as knowledgeable as they should be, either.

I see. Yes, that was a poor attempt at light humor by spinning Autism Spectrum Disorder. I apologize.

I still think it's practically impossible to pick out an Aspie kid before preschool.

Looking back on it, I did a lot of "weird" things. Being happiest, as a very young infant, laying alone on my blanket and playing with my toys or just watching things. Swinging... and swinging... and swinging... and swinging... Enjoying interacting with adults more than other kids from toddlerhood. Contentedly spending hours yelling into a window fan. Wanting to hear the same half a dozen stories over and over and over, to the exclusion of new ones. Bursting into tears if the infinite PBS fundraiser preempted Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. Very long list of things I can look back on and go, "Yeah, that probably should have tipped someone off."

But the thing is, individually (even collectively), they probably shouldn't have. At least, not if I'd been willing to approach strange children on the playground or interact with more than one other child at a time.

I'd probably advocate the "take-her-to-the-park-and-wait-and-see approach." Best case scenario, she's a hot-tempered, clingy NT kid who will benefit from sunshine, fresh air, physical activity, and the presence of other children (not a whole lot of cooperative play going on at 1). Worst case scenario, time will show that she is, in fact, an Aspie kid, who will still have benefitted from sunshine, fresh air, physical activity (PT for some of the balance, coordination, and musculosketal issues that tend to come as part of the package), and limited doses of the presence of other children where she has the power to choose to interact with them or not, not to mention Mommy to serve as a coach and possibly sisters to serve as examples to learn from and/or inroads to interacting with older kids (sort of an informal DIY OT).

BuyerBeware,

Thank you.

Thanks for all the responses, I really appreciate it

Our pediatrician...sigh. We get there early, wait at least 45 minutes but up to 90 minutes past our official appointment time, and then he talks to me like I've never had a kid before and only for about 5 minutes, if that. A better choice of doctors is about 45 minutes away, and right now that's a bit far for us. I know at this point there's not much we can do, but I love reading about what other parents were like and what other kids are like. It's really got me thinking about things that I did as a child, and how difficult socializing is for me even today.

I kind of hope at least one of them turns out like me so I can understand them haha!

45 minutes away? 90 minute round-trip? By these numbers, you will save time if the more distant alternative keeps you waiting for anything less than the time of your round trip to the first doc, plus any waiting time over 90 minutes.

But the main thing is will they not talk down to you and will they give you more than 5 minutes?

In defense of the doc, insurance often dictates very tight scheduling, or they are volunteering time.

Yes, "NT disorder" implies that you're looking to have your child "diagnosed" as neurotypical, which could be taken to mean that you disapprove of the diagnostic process.

There are new tools that help diagnose babies under a year old...which does not mean that the tools are perfect, or that you should take it as a definitive answer if you get no diagnosis (if you get a diagnosis and it turns out to be wrong, I also think no harm is done with early intervention other than wasting your time. We didn't have access to that tool so I have no personal experience, but my understanding is that it goes along with continuous re-evaluation.)

If your child is borderline or HFA, a regular pediatrician will not see it. If you don't have access to a specialist (or, ideally, a multi-disciplinary developmental center) check with your local school district which (in the US) should give you access to developmental specialists and free screenings. If they don't screen babies, they would still be a good resource to find out who does.

This may be true, but we don't know if the babies in question are Aspies or Auties...and there are definite signs for babies who might wind up being nonverbal and who could really benefit from Early Intervention to develop language skills. http://www.autismsciencefoundation.org/ ... arly-signs and http://www.firstsigns.org/screening/tools/rec.htm

i think, like with most things, it depends on just how atypical the behavior. I think an expert could have detected my son around the year mark at the most. He was verbal, but his social skills were very low, detectably so, even at at that age. In addition, he had issues with gestures and non-verbal signals as well.