Question for parents of aspies...

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flamingo
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10 Jul 2015, 11:23 am

Adamantium wrote:
flamingo wrote:
wait at least 45 minutes but up to 90 minutes past our official appointment time... A better choice of doctors is about 45 minutes away, and right now that's a bit far for us.


45 minutes away? 90 minute round-trip? By these numbers, you will save time if the more distant alternative keeps you waiting for anything less than the time of your round trip to the first doc, plus any waiting time over 90 minutes.

But the main thing is will they not talk down to you and will they give you more than 5 minutes?

In defense of the doc, insurance often dictates very tight scheduling, or they are volunteering time.


Our current doctor is only about 15 minutes away, so not too far. But our insurance is an issue right now, as well as finances. I have the time but not exactly the money to spend on trips like that. It's probably best that I wait until she's a bit older anyways...by that time I'll have a job and likely better insurance. Heck, maybe she'll enjoy car rides by then since right now she hates them >.<



Rocket123
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10 Jul 2015, 7:36 pm

I have two teenage daughters. While both have numerous autistic traits, I believe (maybe) that -- like their mother -- both are NT.

Both seemed a bit different (compared to other children) fairly early in their childhood. For both, I could see early signs of obsessions, anxiety, sensory issues, stims and social challenges (to me, both just seemed either extremely introverted or very shy).

At the time, I didn’t think they were that abnormal. Rather, they just seemed more like me than their mother.

I still remember the day, when I told my wife that my eldest daughter (who was ~ 2 at the time) was an extreme introvert, just like me. My wife replied, “I don’t want my daughter to be like you”. And, she started to cry. That conversation occurred many years before I was diagnosed (with Asperger’s).



momsparky
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10 Jul 2015, 7:43 pm

Rocket123 wrote:
At the time, I didn’t think they were that abnormal. Rather, they just seemed more like me than their mother.

Abnormal is such a charged word and way of looking at it: first of all, I don't like the negative connotation for those of us who fit that label. Second, while I was decidedly impaired as a child, I don't think anyone would have labeled me as "abnormal." Instead, I got called lazy, disorganized, clumsy, hot-tempered, oversensitive, etc.

The question is not whether your child meets some standard of normalcy, but whether or not your child could benefit from some extra support and extra instruction. I absolutely could have - as could DS, who we worried about but who didn't even get a referral until the end of 1st grade. Other parents whose kids were similar who DID get early intervention now have kids who don't need IEPs.

It's not magic, and we are slowly making it up - but in addition to the lost skills, we also now have an anxiety disorder because DS didn't have another way to frame what was going on other than shaming and blaming himself (despite our best efforts to help with that.)

That's why I am suggesting that people take what is offered, either in testing or in services: I don't think it does any harm (especially for babies and preschoolers) and it does have the ability to do a lot of good.



Rocket123
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10 Jul 2015, 9:17 pm

momsparky wrote:
Rocket123 wrote:
At the time, I didn’t think they were that abnormal. Rather, they just seemed more like me than their mother.

Abnormal is such a charged word and way of looking at it: first of all, I don't like the negative connotation for those of us who fit that label.

Personally, I don’t have any emotional attachment (good or bad) to that word. Perhaps I should. But I don’t.

Also, my range for normal/usual is fairly broad (say, +/-2 standard deviations). I was simply indicating that, from my perspective, they fell within that range.

momsparky wrote:
The question is not whether your child meets some standard of normalcy, but whether or not your child could benefit from some extra support and extra instruction.

This makes sense. Both of my children needed extra help, particularly in elementary school. Interestingly, it never occurred to me that something else could be going on.



momsparky
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11 Jul 2015, 8:15 am

Rocket123 wrote:
This makes sense. Both of my children needed extra help, particularly in elementary school. Interestingly, it never occurred to me that something else could be going on.


This is expressly why I have a problem with the use of words like "abnormal:" It means you are not looking at outcomes, or at the amount of effort something takes, or needs, but only at comparisons to some arbitrary standard.

I don't like the emotional baggage that comes with "special needs," either, but it's a more accurate frame that is more likely to result in people getting what they need and can be applied more flexibly. It is the rigid adherence to "normal" and "abnormal" that meant that people who had autism with good verbal skills didn't even get a diagnosis until 1994.



zette
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11 Jul 2015, 8:53 am

Anachron wrote:
ASDMommyASDKid wrote:
I think the point of confusion is your use of "NT Disorder" and is likely to be interpreted as being hostile to NTs or people who are NTish.


I see. Yes, that was a poor attempt at light humor by spinning Autism Spectrum Disorder. I apologize.


I got the joke and thought it was cute.



Anachron
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11 Jul 2015, 9:18 am

zette wrote:
Anachron wrote:
ASDMommyASDKid wrote:
I think the point of confusion is your use of "NT Disorder" and is likely to be interpreted as being hostile to NTs or people who are NTish.


I see. Yes, that was a poor attempt at light humor by spinning Autism Spectrum Disorder. I apologize.


I got the joke and thought it was cute.


Thank you zette,
it seems that my intrinsic talent for inadvertently offending people grows stronger at wrongplanet.



momsparky
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11 Jul 2015, 11:42 am

Anachron wrote:
Thank you zette,
it seems that my intrinsic talent for inadvertently offending people grows stronger at wrongplanet.


I wasn't offended, no worries - I've just seen threads where someone's intent was in fact to make a judgement about parents here looking for support, and I wanted to address that just in case.