SAMPLE Strengths & Needs for IEP... and School Safety Pl

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Good lists!

I am 43 and also grew up at a time when AS was an unknown diagnosis. I could have used help coping with bullies.

All of these things said, we still decided to remove our child from the school system because of the lack of support, understanding, consistency and interest in our daughters health and well-being...*wipes brow*

Now, if only we had the cash to hire a lawyer for slanderous statements, misrepresentation, lack of professionalism, confidentiality, work ethics and bull$h1t stories they concocted about our family, we'd be in better shape...

Instead we removed her from school, program plan, teach, set up volunteer opportunities and field trips, pay out of pocket for social skills training, OT, personal growth and development courses such as arts, music, etc annnnnnnd... lose out on the 2nd income. *sigh*

We do it because we love our daughter, not because it benefits our pocket or our time.

She is happier, safer and no longer the child living in fear or threatening to take her own life.

Annnnnnd, if she is happy, we are happy and that was the goal:)

HI!

Thank you for posting and contributing to this thread. We just began the process of attempting to secure an IEP for our son - he's 9 and has been dx'ed for almost 2 years now. Up until this year, he was doing pretty well - we had a few issues to deal with, but nothing that I couldn't work with him on, and I never minded doing it. This year though, has been tough. He's in 4th grade, the work is harder - and he can't just allow his mind to wander away for a bit and come back without really missing a lot, which he does. Of course the social aspect has really changed as well, and that hasn't helped.

A couple of things I wanted to address:

I see that a lot of people have decided to homeschool their kids rather than deal with the school system. I think this is very much a personal choice - and naturally all of us are going to do what is best for our kids. Here is why, at least for the time being, I won't homeschool: I think that as much as it would be easier to have my son stay at home and teach him myself, he has to learn how to deal in our world. Our world isn't going to suddenly bend over backwards to accomodate him - he has to at least learn how to function in reality. I'm not saying he's going to like it all of the time (how many of us, NT or otherwise - ALWAYS like the way the world works?), and I'm certainly not saying that when he is grown he won't choose a profession that doesn't require as much time with the public, but I do believe in my heart that we have to teach them how to function. That said, aside from school itself - his other activities are what HE chooses to participate in. It's a balance. He didn't like team sports - and hey, I can't blame him there. So, we gave him other options (I feel that he does need exercise of some sort, but it's his choice as to what he does) and he chose Karate. He loves it because there are firm rules that he knows, and there are definite "pats on the back" - like when he tests and earns a new belt level. My point being that we try to balance. Of course, if the day should come where I see he's not getting the help he needs at school, and basically the system is failing him - then I will definitely rethink what we're doing. It's an ongoing discussion in our house and will probably continue!

I saw that someone had taken issue with the goal of having eye contact. Perhaps I misunderstood the other posters sentiment....but if not here is my take: I know that this is once again, personal preference as well as taking into account the differences of each of our children. Although many of us, if not ourselves as well, have the diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome, that doesn't mean they all manifest in the same way, and I realize that. However, for my son - I think SHOULD be a goal. In our world - it's a necessary way of communicating with other people. There's nothing wrong with teaching our children how to adapt to society - society is not going to be adapting to them, like it or not. Eye contact can sometimes be very uncomfortable, even for NT's, but it's something that I feel is important...and for a lot of Aspies (of course not all), can definitely be learned. I know this because my son had almost NO eye contact several years ago - and now, he's able to hold eye contact extremely well.

I'm all for celebrating the differences - but I also firmly believe that our children have to be taught and given tools so that they are able to adapt and be successful in the world. I'm not expecting, nor do I want my son to change - I just want him to be able to look back when he's grown and be able to say that his parents gave him all of the necessarily tools to be successful. Perhaps not all agree, and that's OK. We all have to do what we think is best for our children.

great ideas there..........i do think, however, that we all need to remember that every individual is different & that what works for one child might not necessarily work for another. i've worked extensively with individuals who begin to perseverate, for instance, on a specific topic. some of them respond well to distraction- that is, changing the subject or getting them to focus on some other task.........others only become irritated by this method. some folks need time limits to be set- that is, you can talk about your topic for 2 minutes. when the timer goes off, it's time to work........still others are totally undirectable ( is that a word??). at any rate, they respond best to firm directions & an alternate setting ( quiet space to sit and compose oneself)
every parent should be working closely with their school to make certain that their child receives the services & support plan that are appropriate for their child. If you as a parent, are not happy with the status quo, then you can calmly negotiate that with the teacher. If you don't get anywhere with the teacher, move on to the principal and/or social worker....Keep moving up the chain of command until you can get a meeting together to discuss your concerns.

I have read from several adult aspies that eye contact can be painful. This is why I won't push my youngest to have eye contact.

He is just fine the way he is and the world can just adjust to his needs. There are much bigger fish to fry.

I am a parent of a child who is not dx with Aspergers (yet) but certainly has many traits of AS. My son has a hard time maintaining eye contact. I find sustained eye contact extremely difficult when having a conversation. Painful would be a good way to describe it. It just seems way too personal - makes me extremely uncomfortable. I did not even know how much I avoided eye contact until a coworker about 12 yrs ago pointed it out to me. Since then, I have been trying to make myself do it but it is really hard.

I have told my son to look near someone's eyes, like their nose or chin.

I agree that forcing a child to make eye contact, if they feel the way I feel when I try to sustain eye contact, might be a battle to skip, and perhaps teach them why eye contact is important in conversation and ways to show that they are focused on the conversation and even teach the tricks to give the appearance of eye contact as an alternative.

I'm very new here, but when I look at your safety plan, it strikes me as a very good starting point for parents whose child may be newly diagnosed with ASD. I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with my son, and he's 15, although we didn't get the dx until about 4 yrs ago. Live and learn.

That is a reasonably comprehensive template to individualize from, I am surprised that you do not address bullying prevention. In our state we can designate the area around our child as an area of special concern so the school has to “pay special attention” to indications or precursors of bulling in his enviroment.

bookwormde

[I'm all for celebrating the differences - but I also firmly believe that our children have to be taught and given tools so that they are able to adapt and be successful in the world. I'm not expecting, nor do I want my son to change - I just want him to be able to look back when he's grown and be able to say that his parents gave him all of the necessarily tools to be successful. Perhaps not all agree, and that's OK. We all have to do what we think is best for our children]

I totally agree that we need to give our children the tools to be successful. I have son who I believe is an aspie. He was a lot of bad behavior and trouble in school with his peers and disrupting class. I am doing my best to help him understand how to behave and interact with others.

I was very antisocial and painfully shy as a child so I didnt get into trouble like he does. He is the opposite. He is very talkative and doesnt know his boundries. I had to learn how to be around people, how to greet people, how to talk to people. I always thought is was stupid to say hi to everyone you see. Then people thought I was rude if I didnt. So even though it felt strange for me to greet people or to make small talk. I made myself do it so not to be rude.

I am trying to get my son in the habit of doing things he may think strange as I did but that if does them long enough he will get used to it and people wont think he is so odd.

I do believe social interaction can be taught. The person may always think it is absurd or feels strange but at least they will seem a little normal and fit into society.

I was on an IEP up until grade 1, then they started to mainstream me in grade 2 whereby I spent most of my time in the regular class, but about an hour a day in the resource room.I then was FULLY mainstreamed in grade 4.I functioned well acedemically, but found it kinda hard socially.I think most of the reason I did well acedemically was because of the dedication of the teachers along with parental involvement during such.I started to independantly study on my own at home with my homework without help in grade 5 and was still mainstreamed.I did average. Grade 6, my math mark went down but I did excellent in everything else.I found math hard.In grade 7, I did ok on my own but was still struggling with math.Socially grade 7 was ok.Half the day, was spent being taught by one teacher who pretty much just gave us notes and a lecture, and the rest of the day we did our work independantly.I liked that...I moved my desk to the back of the room in a corner between two wooden cupboard cabinets...It was my own little personal corner...and I kept alot of my stuff there.Nobody teased or bothered me there.I still got help with assignments from the teacher when I needed it.

Throughout the rest of my years after that, I was at the catholic high school, where I did ok acedemically in the mainstream classes, and graduated.I am now going to Red Deer College and don't need any disability accomodations.

As for being horrible in math goes, but excellent in English and Social (political science, history, and economics) , I was able to concentrate better in the classes I did good in.I did horrible in math because I found it difficult to stay focused.I passed math 20 pure (grade 11 higher acedemic math) with a grade of 53 but failed math 30 pure (grade 12 higher acedemic math), so I took math 30 applied (grade 12 remedial math) so I could get my diploma.I passed physics 20, mainly because the teacher had many after school help classes and I got the one on one help I needed.I found it easier to do the equations with someone standing by me and sorta coaching me through it.If nobody is around to help, I lose focus and go off into my own little world.The same went for math 30 pure...I kinda needed someone to babysit me through it or I'd lose my focus and go into my own little world.I ALWAYS HAVE STRUGGLED IN MATH, since grade 6.

Some schools are better than others. In Oklahoma the school took my husbands word for it that my parental rights had been terminated, and he really did not care what they did with our son as long as he wasn't embarrassed by being called at work. So the school just shuffled him off to the resource room when he was "disruptive" and he really did not get much help other than that.

In Colorado they have the Bridges Program, which is state funded, and my son gets a lot of help developing social skills and tools for dealing with bullies as well. Not to mention instead of the resource room he takes advanced math and reading and is in the G&T program.

Home > Ontario > Superior Court of Justice > 2005 CanLII 8749 (ON S.C.)
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Some Canadian Case Law regarding IEIPs and age.Schools here cannot discriminate on the basis of age and disability as outlined in the case.Please pardon the legalese and the structure whereas it is a legal document (judgment)

I can only answer for swedish local scools here. We've been a big pain in the ass for the schools here, since we've been active fighting for our kids since they where born.

Actually it's a mess here too, but the teachers are interested and engaged. Since school just started here, I have one child that simply decided after the first week, that school ends after lunchbreak because he was served pasta with soyaflour, one child that simply dissapeared from school and one that Loves the fact that everybody is as crazy as her.

This was about in a span of 1,5 week.

Nice though is that all of my wonderful kids have their own strathegies for coping with other "normal" persons and that they don't feel the slightest abnormal, and are themselves. and for that, I just thank "please fill in whatever you believe in".

One of my kids also have adrenaline about "everywhere" ready, since he's a fast cow milk proteine anafylactic and have been shot both by us parents and shot himself while dialing 112 on his Handiphone (a compaq Ipaq with custom software). He's also very cautious about what he both eat and touches, because he's tired of ambulances, hospitals, itching, rashes and everything that requires medical care.

I'm a bit sarcastic in this reply.

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