What's wrong with you guys?

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Why do you grown-ups hate us so much and treat us like s**t with all this discipline crap?!

Maybe if you asked politely, we would answer.

Really, most adults set rules because society expects you to follow them. If you are not taught, you will not survive in the real world. Believe me, it would be A LOT easier to not worry about "you guys" but we try since we care.

BeeBee

I'm sort of an adult. But I can understand why. Adults don't hate you. If you do something wrong, they punish you so you will realize that it's wrong and you won't do it again. I used to feel the same way. I thought they hated me. I'd get grounded, and they'd take away my video games and TV. But now I don't do those things anymore. I haven't been punished for something in years. They don't hate you. They love you, and are trying to teach you right from wrong.

Why did my parents get so mean all of a sudden?!

Maybe because you are doing things that are wrong? If your parents hated you like they say, they would throw you out on the street and forget about you. If they hated you, they wouldn't want you. But they give you food, clothes, and shelter. They obviously love you. You just don't like to be punished, I believe.

TB_Samurai:

Na! My parents gave me food, gave me shelter, gave me clothes, but i never felt that they did it because they loved me, it always seems to be a labour to have me. If there wasn't law and society to judge them, i don't think they would have kept me so long without paying my part (they ask me to pay for the house as soon as i start working, at 16). Yes, that exist

It's probably not the case of your parent though, 171NY. You said they becomes mean all of a sudden.....Are they AS ? Do they have AS tendencies ? Tantrum because of sensory overload or breaking of an insignificant law that is important to them ?

What I am about to tell you is a warning of things to come, not a criticism.

I am 23 now and have been through the problem with parents relatively recently and am starting to see matter from both the parent's and kid's perspective. I have read some of your posts about the behavior problems you admit to having and in my opinion, it looks like your parents are doing what they do because they have not given up trying to prepare you to function as an adult in the real world.
Your parents may seem like sadistic monsters now, but they are nothing comapared to what you will face later in life because the truth of the matter is that there are dificculties you will face in the real world that cannot be fully explained. You will have to face them to fully understand the magnitude of them and your parents are trying to get you ready for it. If you cannot meet the challenges your parents present you with, I would strongly recommend getting professional help to meet them. Otherwise, you will have a snowball's chance in hell of making it in the real world.



These things are rarely any single individual's fault. I would need a description of events from the time that this started to give you an answer.

Live in a movie theatre because you pushed
one time too many. Live in alleyways and
wonder how to house yourself since you
alienated yourself through this angst I have
tried to coach you through subtly. Live
with part-time jobs that seem a waste and
endless. There young jedi(NY171) was my 15-20
dark cave. I am just now realizing that I can
be saved by myself. DON'T BE 39 and when
you realize your parents do love you and care
it is sometimes too late. Hmmmm! young jedi
(future gifted Aspie) there be the dark force
confront it or it will consume you.

Yoda!(well! not really Ghosthunter instead, and I
hope you get the point)

It is a Positive/Negative Reward and Punishment system and is the basis for all Behaviorism (field of psychology). It seems the most efficient way to modulate behavior. It is also a methodology of teaching. We even use it on ourselves at times.

#1 to prepare you for an independent life, which is hard.

#2 to protect your safety and their credit ratings, as they are responsible for you to age 21.

#3 because grown ups are people, too and have limited patience at times. youngsters can really get on your nerves sometimes...

#4 follow the money. they rule you while you live on their charity and goodwill. you want to make your own rules, you need to be financially independent.

because they are giving you a taste of what it will really be like when you get smacked up side the head by life for the first time on your own. It's to help you (if someone told me this a few years ago I would have laughed at them). But it does help, so just put up with it and learn from it.

AS and autism is forever so heres how i feel it goes...............
rules tend to exist for all to follow, rules are not usually put into place to be broken, the reason why most of us follow rules especailly us aspies is because we are able to follow them, they are clear and concise so therefore they tend to make us feel secure. They help us with the stages of life which we will have to go through almost preparing us for whatever may come.

Aspies rock................................

I agree that some parents have too many rules and then they get frazzled trying to enforce them all. I think it's always better to have a few very clear rules than many which often depend on how the parent is feeling at the time.

But the people who've said that discipline is needed to prepare you for life are also right in a way. Unfortunately, bosses and other adults can be very mean once you leave home and I know I wasn't really prepared for this. I was subject to a fair amount of bullying once I left home and had no idea of how to defend myself except for passive resistance.

It's a lot harder to bring up kids these days since there are so many more risks for them to face. It's actually a wonder to me that anybody leaves home!

My parents have always been really strict with my siblings and I. I guess we just get used to it after a while, and it doesn't bother me when teachers are really strict in the classroom or when my boss is strict with us at work.

In fact, other people tell me that I enforce too much discipline both at school and work.

I don't mind strict rules so much if they apply to everybody and they are expressed clearly so there is no chance of misunderstanding.

I hate hypocrisy and doulbe standards but sadly to say, there is a lot of this in schools and workplaces and homes.

Everybody deals with stuff like that. My Parents were strict with me, and I turned out okay. I know that my parents were strict with me, because they love me. I respect my Parents, today, because they cared enough to set up some rules when I was a Teen. I think that you should give your Mom a hug and tell her that you love her.