smell!& other things, a ramble amble amble

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Hi All,

Im still trying to put all the pieces of the jigsaw together for my very socially fragile 14 year old who is about to go through assessment for aspergers.

When she was a baby, from a very young age, she would vomit at smells. When she was ten months old I walked her through a perfume stall and she simply vomitted everywhere. She would toddle into the kitchen and say 'Whats for dinner? , smell it and vomit and then sit down and eat the dinner! This went on till she was around four and a half years old. It also happened when she was very upset or melting down as we say. I remember mentioning it at nursery as it happened and they said it was just an attention thing! I felt at the time, Im an educated mum, I dont go into overdrive when my daughter vomits, I simply clean up and change her quietly with no fuss! Mentioned it to doctors but they seemed non plussed. By the time she was five, she seemed to overcome this. Subseqently she became a podgy child!

Other things that come to mind, apart from meltdowns and tantrums, diffculty with relationships, sulky moody etc. I rememember certain words I was not allowed to say. Such as, her bottom was called her area! Yes you heard right! 'Have you washed your area?' I would ask. She has always been afraid of elevators and lifts and very difficult to shop with as she just, at the time found it stressfull and it would always be hell. If it didnt feel right, well here we go again!! !

Biggest thing I remember as I touched on, is the social situations we attempted. She would always destroy a family event by being sulky or having a meltdown etc over something silly. Hense, this has put extended family relationships under strain and they are touching non existant! Parties with other children and social things, always seemed a stress and she was always too shy and always seemed left out to me. I used to work very hard when she was little to make sure her socks were comfy as she would blow a fit over that!

Education wise, she has just not excelled in anything, regardless of being lyrically fab with memory for song lyrics and stuff. I always thought she naturally had sheer shyness or complete lack of confidence! Where have I been?

Its obvious that if my daughter has Aspergers it is mild and she has covered it well. She has over come certain things, particular the smell thing. I find that she is a junk food eater and has gone off certain foods now such as Spag bol, she cant stand the smell! She is now mad on Apple juice.

Mild it may be, but not in the way that it is affecting anxiety. She tries very hard but gets anxious when out and has trouble walking down the street alone. Like a black hole surrounds her and she feels panicked.

Her focusses are mainly to do with access to the internet and her mobile phone. I think she has made being social her special interest! Or she is trying so hard to be normal it is heart breaking. She is suffering depression has behaved terribly, been violent and abusive!

Since the possible Aspergers diagnosis, I have relaxed about her being unable to cope with secondary school as a pupil referal uni is in the balance and lots of professionals are supporting. She has gone out today but I will pick her up so that she can get home without stress.

Sorry Im rambling, its so good that you read, so thank you. Can you relate to any of this?

I'm so sorry no one replied to this!

Sensitivity to smells and texures is a very common aspie trait. As is meltdowns in social situations. This is almost a 'text book' description of Asperger's. But you also seem to be on the road to a diagnosis. Keep all these things handy, in written form. The more detailed a background picture you can give a doctor, the more helpful it will be in her diagnosis.

Hang in there mommy!

I think your post is a lot like mine would have been if I hadn't discovered the AS until my son was 14. Just that many more years of doubting my own instincts off and on, putting my son into situations that are confusing and / or stressful to him because we would't have felt we had a choice (or he would have covered it so well we wouldn't have even known), and so on.

My son was more of a sensory seeker than avoider when he was little but it still wasn't normal and it still caused huge issues for us.

Yes, my child is mild end, which means smart enough and aware enough to adapt to what has to be adapted to. It helps us feel certain our kids have a positive future despite all the challenges.

Still, they need us to help them navigate the world and you finally are getting the keys to help her do so. You'll be able to understand her in a way you weren't given access to before. Getting a diagnosis was the best thing that could have happened for our son, and you will soon feel the same with your daughter. Best of luck to you!