The line between independance and safety is fuzzy

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Hi, my daughter is 19 with high functioning autism. We have joined an adults asd social club with pizza and board games. Just got back from. There's a guy there that cannot take his eyes off my daughter. This was our 2nd meet up. This guy was much more talkative with her than the first time. I can tell he is very keen.

The group were talking about movies, avengers and captain America. We are going as a group, which seems fine. This guy mentions that my daughter might accompany him to a movie as an individual situation another time.

He had a birthday last week and turned 53. He looks 32. He asked her what she thought about what he had said, I was trying to not get involved and talking to others but was over hearing, I knew too well, she would have just been umming and arring, and also know too well ,this means no.

She had previously did the same a few minutes earlier when another guy wanted to exchange phone contact with her, she just looks at me, umming and arring expecting me to act for her, so I said no she doesn't want to. She has told me previously she is not interested in people for sexual relations. Her real age being on the spectrum would be about 13/14.

I was hoping that soon I would be able to leave her at this group meet up with asd adults and get her a few hours later. There are leaders running it. How is she ever going to have at least some independance from me, she is so timid and won't speak her mind.

The line between independance and safety is a fuzzy one for me. By nature of not wanting to speak her mind to people, I know she is at risk of being taken advantage of.

Any good advice, experience, references, books really appreciated. Don't I got to stop being her advocate one day or do I not?

Well, I think actually this is a hard situation because these are people she is apt to see again at this meet-up and turning a guy down gently is kind of an advanced skill. Especially since you do not know how the guy is going to take it, and so forth.

Aspie girls tend not to handle it well, and guys (NT or AS) nay not handle the rejection well, either.

I know this doesn't help you, but just to give you insight, it is not was easy as it may appear to deal with this.

Maybe you and she can make up a generic excuse together for her to use in these situations. A rejection script, so to speak. It'll have to be pretty blunt and straightforward in order to be understood by aspie guys, though. -I'm busy- or the like won't do, as they'll take it literally and ask again later.

I haven't read these myself, but saw a book about this on the "new books" shelf at our library. I can't remember the exact title, but it might be one of these:

Safety Skills for Asperger Women: How to Save a Perfectly Good Female Life Paperback – August 15, 2011
by Liane Holliday Willey

The Aspie Girl's Guide to Being Safe with Men: The Unwritten Safety Rules No-one is Telling You 1st Edition
by Debi Brown (Author), Sarah Attwood (Foreword)

Asperger's Syndrome And Sexuality: From Adolescence Through Adulthood Paperback – Unabridged, September 28, 2005 by Isabelle Henault (Author)

It sounds like she might be asexual. Asexuality is defined as having no feeling of sexual attraction or desire, and seems to be more common in AS girls than in NTs.
As an asexual myself, I continually struggle with how to turn down an advance without being too subtle or too mean. I've never had an AS guy come on to me, though - that might actually be easier, because they might be more likely to believe me when I say I don't feel sexual desire. I don't know that from experience, though, just a thought. NT guys tend to assume I'm either afraid of relationships or just don't want them in particular. Both seem like social inferences based indirect NT-style interaction.