Behavioral Interventions at School

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Hello. I have a 13-year-old son who was just diagnosed in February. It's been a tough road and school has never gone well. Our current administrator at school, though, is completely open to ideas and I'm hoping to find examples of positive behavioral interventions that they can use in place of traditional discipline. I would love to hear any ideas you might have as a group.

Background: He has been punished constantly since school started. He rarely had recess that wasn't taken away in elementary, and he's never earned a single reward at school for any reason. Just this week, the assistant principal instituted a three-warning system before assigning after school detention (in relation to following directions), and my son shut down and staged a sit-in. We have had to physically walk him into school the last two days. We have an emergency IEP meeting on Tuesday, and I want to go armed with suggestions.

Thank you.

Mikki

Oh, boy. I was like this. I got a glitter heart once in forth grade for Aceing a test on the heart. It was the only award I ever won. That feeling sucks! However, I didn't experience this into the teen years, when rebellion is so normal. By 13, I had learned how to disappear at school.

I'm not sure how I feel about a 13 year old and a token economy - that's when you give the kid points and they earn little trinkets or privileges. It can work for some kids. When I worked with foster kids, they loved it because they didn't have a lot of stuff of their own, so a trinket or a candy bar or whatever was well appreciated. Its great with younger ones too, as they LOVE little bits of stuff like stickers. But teens, especially those who have decided that they are too cool, are not going to be into that. One thing for sure - if any kind of reinforcement system is put into place, you have to put some safe guards in place to maintain a 13 year old's dignity:

-have his input about what he gets as a reward.
-teachers shouldn't mention it in class unless the other kids are on it too. (That's a great idea, BTW. It can be fun when the whole class does it.) It can't be a visible chart or similar at that age unless its for the whole class.
-points or rewards can't get taken away, no matter how much of a stinker he's being

There's a whole method for helping really resistant kids outlined in "The Explosive Child." I really like it. Its all about teaching the kiddo how to express his needs and wants. And how as an adult we can let them work through those emotions. Its old now, I was teaching 10 years ago. But it was a good method. The problem with bringing that to your meeting is that everyone would have to be trained in it, and that can be a process.

I would suggest insisting that he always gets his time off. Have it written into his IEP. Clearly, if doing work at recess time was going to work, it would have worked by now. Autistic kids need time to be quiet and away from demands. After school detention is a bad idea for us as well. We NEED that time off. It is almost a human rights violation to take it away.

Now, as for turning him in a better direction, your kiddo needs a niche. We do really well with niches. Best case scenario, there is an adult at the school who connects with your son who can give him some extra time and attention. That he can start to feel like he has a place. AV club is the steriotypical example. Helping the band teacher works for musicians. Helping younger kids does it for helper types like myself. Maybe a period in the library working on projects with the librarian? That kind of thing can make a big difference, but it can't be subject to being ripped away if he can't make it in the rest of his classes. This is what you are seeing. He's so heart broken at this point that he doesn't trust that good things can happen if he behaves. What, then, motivates one to do so? It's going to take him a while to trust that he can have good things at school.

The whole point of positive intervention is that kids want to do well. They want to succeed. They want to please the adults in their lives. When they behave poorly, its because they can't do well, or they think they can't. Its almost always protective. Success is its own reward. Give him the supports he needs to experience success, and his behavior will simply evaporate.

There's a completely different approach to the usual carrot and stick behavioral methods called Collaborative Problem Solving. Basically you work WITH the child to figure out the root cause of each problem that leads to behavioral issues and come up with a solution. Read the books Lost at School and The Explosive Child and watch the videos at this website: http://www.livesinthebalance.org/educators-schools

Thank you! This is just the kind of thing I was hoping to find!

I gave the same book!

Pay attention to me!! !

Just kidding... kind of.

Have you heard of "Caught you being good?" Its another behavioral method. http://www.behavioradvisor.com/CatchGood.html

I haven't heard of that. Thanks for the suggestion!

My son is a sophomore in high school (14 almost 15) and his entire school (a specialized STEM program that leads to a dual HS diploma/associate's degree) is involved with PBIS ( http://www.pbis.org/ and www.pbisworld.com/ ) This includes kids with and without an IEP or 504, with and without known diagnoses, and with and without actual behavioral problems at school. His program is very successful, does not make the students feel like "little kids" and is founded in a collaborative effort between the students and the faculty. In his program, for example, students are able to "earn" points for appropriate behaviors (as outlined in PBIS, as identified by collaborative effort between students and faculty) toward things like fun apps on their school owned (and locked) iPads. And they set up the consequences for inappropriate behaviors (which they helped define) to include things like negative notes home to parents, being assigned to clean desks and chairs (if they are caught sticking gum under desk/chair or vandalizing desk/chairs), and writing essays and giving presentations related to inappropriate behaviors ( i.e. if caught bullying, write essay and give presentation on the consequences of bullying, etc). His school draws from many districts and has many students who, for whatever reason, were not having successes in their own district. Yet, they have managed to create a respectful, safe, and engaging environment for kids ranging from high academic achievers to social misfits.

My biggest suggestion is to make sure your son is involved in setting up whatever is set up. The PBISworld reference above has a lot of suggestions for interventions targeted toward specific behaviors. I would hope, at the very least, that you, your son, and his "team" at school could be involved in developing and implementing an approach. I think it would also be imperative for your son to have a strong say in what "behaviors" are issues for him. He may have a different perspective than you and/or his teachers.

My second suggestion is to advocate for formal PBIS at the school in general. The benefit is that all teachers and all staff are educated, it applies equally to all students, and it informs the culture of the school and the shared expectations of the kids.

Best of luck to you. If I put myself in your shoes, I can imagine that I would be feeling an underlying current of panic for having "missed it" for "so long," but I want to reassure you that it is never too late to notice that your kid needs a different approach, and I think that with the right support, you can really get things going in the right direction. I also think that, although all kids need understanding from their parents at all ages, the early teen and teen years are critical for parental understanding for atypically developing kids. My parents didn't recognize I was different or that I needed a different approach (back then, I think that was typical). I still feel the pain sometimes and I am nearly 50 years old. I think my kids face the same pressures that I did (not fitting in, struggling, trying to figure out how to compensate, etc), but I think it is not as "traumatic" to them because I "get it" and I support them. Now that you are armed with understanding how and why your son is different than his typical peers, he will have that benefit from you.

I've put together a list of interventions to consider when his IEP team meets on Tuesday. Also, and this plays a big role, I am a former teacher in the school where he is a student, so I know they treat me a little differently than most parents. I'm currently stuffing their inboxes with resources because I refuse to let my guy have even one more bad year. He has been treated so terribly by teachers and principals over the years, but now that we have a diagnosis, we have a direction from which to push back.

I really appreciate your help.

Worth keeping in mind that it might not work straight away. Some kids are more comfortable with the predictable (but negative) responses that they're used to that when good behaviour is praised they will immediately start doing something they know they oughtn't to shift the attention. (There's a child like this in the class I work in.)

Failing all else, a fresh start in a new school where the school is supportive and the child doesn't have a reputation can help. (In lower year groups, even a new class can help but it's more difficult at secondary level when they have different teachers for different subjects.)