*§*AS-Parent Support Group*§*

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I applaud what you're doing, it can't be easy.

Last edited by ominous on 23 Sep 2010, 6:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I would love to live in Australia, we are quickly going insane here in the US . What brought you there? Is your husband from Australia? As far as living standards I don't mind living simply except I lost my health insurance because the company I work for could no longer afford it. My son gets coverage as part of his SSDI.
I see what you mean about a completely separate forum. If you build it I will come.

Last edited by ominous on 23 Sep 2010, 6:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I haven't posted in this thread for ages, for two reasons mainly; one is that the "worst" seems to be over, for me, in terms of being an AS parent, ( though who knows what horrors await me as my now 11 year old AS/PDD son enters adolescence ), and the other is that as you and others have said it is very difficult to discuss more than one subject properly on just one thread, it all gets very messy/muddled/complicated aswell as frustrating/tiring.

It really doesn't fit in the Parent's forum, and being of minority interest threads would disappear very fast in General Discussion. The only other option was the "In Depth" etc forum, because intended to be for people living independently etc, and parenting could be said to be about one very important aspect of those issues ... but the trouble is that it isn't "protected" from public gaze in the same way as this forum.

I suppose we could simply make this forum our home, and start many different threads on the subject of being an AS parent, but we didn't to begin with, didn't dare to in a way, almost as if being an AS parent was taboo in a way, and a lot of the initial interest has died down. But perhaps if AS parents did begin to regularly post new threads on the various issues it could work as a "partly" AS-Parent Forum? ...

We could even see this forum as peculiarly appropriate to parents with AS, because privacy and it's darker side, being hidden/shut away, is such a central part of the parenting experience for many of us, if only because children in our society have little or no public presence, little or no role outside of the house and the school system. Their invisibility ( and lack of power ) could be said to be part of the/our problem.
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Great ideas. My main concern is privacy. I can see the value in sharing openly but there are many topics I'm not ready to discuss in such a public space. I imagine there is more than one autistic parent out there who is terribly fearful about being outed if they aren't ready to take on that burden (and let's not fool ourselves about the can of worms it could open for many of us, we've seen what has happened to our kids as soon as people hear the word autism). I personally am not quite ready to champion the cause of parenting on the spectrum and already sometimes feel dismissed as "on the spectrum" by parents who like to imagine themselves as NT. It's happened in my personal life and online and I've only just "discovered" this bit of myself at 41 years of age.

One would think that parents would value the perspective of adults who have been able to find a way in the world, parent effectively and etc., ad. nauseum, but I often feel there is a lot of resentment going on in families who perceive themselves to be NT whilst "struggling" with an autistic child.

I would prefer a greater level of privacy. Of course, nobody can guarantee privacy in an online forum, but there are ways to be a bit more discriminating as to who is allowed to read/post on most SMF fora. I'd be far more open in that kind of space.

Just thoughts.

Certainly Lotusblossom's experiences are frightening proof of how awful things can get once certain authorities get "interested" in a case of suspected "parental neglect" for whatever reason. And she is not alone.

... But I'm not sure if I want "another forum in my life"! :lol And as I say things seem to be a lot easier at the moment, less challenging of my AS.

But maybe other AS-parents on WP would be interested in a more private forum. It's very true that parents with any kind of difficulties are increasingly in danger of being interfered with by the authorities. And so tend to retreat more and more into silence and non-disclosure in defence. I was actually reported to one of the Child Protection agencies here in France by a supposed friend when my son was about two, and would not like that to happen again. ... Perhaps you're right and the absence of posts on here most of the time, and of other threads about this sort of thing, is because of this fear. ... Hmmm, serious/chronic parenting-problems may have become almost as unmentionable, as dangerous to talk about, as taboo and disturbing, as sex, sexual "deviancy", etc was 100-150 years ago. ... Which is very interesting. So maybe a more private forum would be good, just not a "list" one please, they're so clunky and straggling and visually ugly. :lol
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Posts such as this thread have put me off wanting to try at all.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp3073435.html#3073435

I'm not sure I want this forum in my life. I have friends and some amazing supportive people/parents in my community of friends, but I'm fortunate. This will be my last post here. Good luck to everyone. I plan to go off and clean up all of my posts. Wish I'd never said anything here to begin with.

Both me and my wife are Aspies (actually subclinical if we embrace the DSM-V label) we have 2 children, a 3 years daughter and a 8 month son. My daughter already have a DX and we are using the Denver Method with her. It's pretty interesting when we go to our psicologist we go all 4 . Also she is writing a book about our family, something like "An almost normal family" or something like that.

We discovered Asperger due to our daughter about 1 year ago and after the first visit the psico asked us if we want to be tested too.

For our luck more than half of my family is in the spectrum, so we are "normal within ourselves".

she has AS, and has every excuse in the book of reason why not to do anything, most of the time there is a pun and it makes us laugh. I have AS also, so it is very difficult for me not to get pressured into enraged moments. Especially when she 1 up's us, I am tired of being stumped by a 4 year old and the 3 year old is soooo nice but is learning bad habits from the 4 year old with AS. She also comments that she is the root of all evil and her favorite shows are good versus evil things and she loves bad guys. I.e Phebus and Firb her favorite guy is Doctor Duffisberg. And on comment with the laughing part here is an example of one of our conversations, I said what came first the chicken or the egg, she would reply the chicken. I would ask why did the chicken come first, she would respond "why would God make a baby with no daddy that would be mean" the irony is she doesn't believe in religion but may be an agnostic. So, i feel the child has picked up on all of our vices as a family and prods us. And no matter how stern we are or remind her we are the parents, she is able to one up us in conversation and she is only 4. Nightsun I feel that "normal with in ourselves" but my daughter needs to eat. How can I explain to her the importance of food and make it sink in. She knows what happens when you don't eat, the headaches stomach aches malnuritment. We try not to talk about death but she brings it up. so any help on this little situation of eating?

Glad to see many votes for your idea! Hope it becomes a reality--

We had many eating problems with our daughter, now (actually this last week) is getting better. She is finally autonomous about eating. She had many problem with reflux and always (as our son) refused to eat "baby-food" or liquid food. She only eat a few different foods and go tantrum when you try to introduce something new. We was very severe with food, we usually accommodate her food preferences but we want her to eat. Now (she will be 3 next week) she eats by her selves. A method we used was counting like:
- you must eat 10 peaces of meat and then you can watch tv. Counting down each one from 10 to 1. Yes it's strange to see a child counting food but at lest she is eating now.

Hello everyone.

I have created a post over in the "WrongPlanet.net" forum asking Alex to create a forum just for AS parents. I had not seen this thread previously and after Aimless brought it to my attention I thought I would try and enlist your help. If you could please drop by and post a brief comment on why you think this would be a good idea I would appreciate it and we may be able to achieve a separate place for these discussions.. I have a separate thread posted to direct Alex's attention to the idea as the Mods have already indicated that this is a decision that can only be made at that level.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt148775.html

Thanks.