You know you're red when...

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• You have cable TV, broadband internet and four meals a day, but you still hate capitalism
• You hate all religions, but you still support religious terrorism
• You live with your mom and dad in a penthouse apartment in the city, but you still wear clothes with a big anarchistic symbol
• You see euthenasia of very sick people as barbaric, but you still love unconditional abortion, since everyone has the right to take decissions over their own body
• You're a man and still a feminist
• You think that everyone who disagrees with you is either a nazi or a huge fan of George W. Bush
• You have a monopoly on opinions
• You support everyone who hates the USA
• You're a huge fan of Che Guevara, even though you don't know who he was or what he did
• You're a huge fan of Che Guevara, and you know exactly who he was and what he did
• You hate this thread with all your heart
• You think you're in a theocratic dictatorship because people complain when you forcibly disrupt speeches by Republicans and Conservatives
• Half of the allowance your parents give you goes to Moveon.org
• You tell people you know that you want to move to India but are afraid that people over there might be rude to you if they knew you were American
• You turn rabid when you see someone wearing a 'Viva La Reagan Revolution' shirt
• You get a heart attack just because one of your children have learned the ten commandments at school
• You think that 9/11 was orchestrated by the Bush administration an that no plane ever hit the Pentagon on that day
• You think that any data on the negative effects of illegal drugs, especially marijuana, is 'government propaganda'
• You think that jet contrails that linger in the air for any length of time are actually poisonous 'chem trails' and that the government is secretly poisoning people in a vast experiment
• You believe vaccines cause autism
• You believe that giving birth (and performing abortions) at home is always safer than giving birth in a hospital
• You believe that corporations should have no rights
• You think men are inferior to women
• You wet your pants because Jehova's Witnesses rings your doorbell, even though you fanatically tried to convert your neighbors to nihilism yesterday
• You support any corrupt dictatorship that hates capitalism
• You insult everyone who can prove that communism doesn't work
• You hate the cops, you whine about police brutality all the time, but when someone defends themselves against you, you call the police
• You secretly mount surveillance equipment in your neighbors house because he disagrees with you
• You're responsible for the annual millitary parade
  

If anyone has any suggestions that should be added to the list, please post them.

Last edited by Reodor_Felgen on 26 Nov 2007, 2:54 am, edited 3 times in total.

You think that the Cultural Revolution was just great.

You still refer to St. Petersburg as Leningrad, and Volgograd as Stalingrad.

Chairman Mao is one of your favourite authors.

You chastise modern China for Bourgeois Backsliding.

You join a labour union.

You attend anti-war demonstrations.

You decide to move to a Red State.

You take Hillary Clinton seriously.

You find Rush Limbaugh to be less than ridiculous.

You think you're in a theocratic dictatorship because people complain when you forcibly disrupt speeches by Republicans and Conservatives

You complain about minorities not having equal rights, and then call Condoleeza Rice and Colin Powell, "House Negros"

You REALLY ARE GONNA MOVE TO CANADA THIS TIME DAMMIT YOU NEOKKKONS~!

The paper is constantly plastered with updated death tolls in the Iraq War and you still call the media liberal.

Three words: "Queers for Palestine".

You think freedom of opinion is an inalienable right, but someone really ought to forcibly silence all conservatives and Republicans since "they're ruining the United States".

You think "Operation Yellow Elephant" is clever and/or a valid point.

If you think "I still remember where I came from" vindicated John Edwards for the $400 haircut scandal, but hate Bush for playing it up like he's a working class guy.

If you think Kerry is an intellectual and Bush is a dumbass, even though they got the same grades from Harvard*, because Kerry was too busy "preparing for the real world" to focus on school and Bush "bought" his grades.

*actually Bush's grades were something like a 0.2 GPA higher than Kerry's.

If you think people discussing Islam's faults are racist, but happily discuss the way Jews and Christians are allegedly ruining the world.

* You'd swear that bush owns everything down to CNN and NPR as his propaganda puppets

* You still haven't figured out that it was the mayor of New Orleans and their budget mismanagement, the governor of Louisiana and the lack of proper evacuation on their part that caused the degree of human life lost in the Katrina tragedy.

* You tell people you know that you want to move to India but are afraid that people over there might be rude to you if they knew you were American (the same girl also told my roommate that America was an evil country and deserved another 9/11)

* Your hoping and praying that the Iraq war is lost, look at Chuck Shumer and Nancy Pelosi as heroes, you also probably REALLY hate what your hearing on the news these days about it.

* Half of the allowance your parents give you goes to Moveon.org

* You happen to be a professor at an institution like Columbia University, Harvard, Yale, Perdu, or many other 'ivy league' institutions.

You're a huge fan of Che Guevara, and you know exactly who he was and what he did.

You turn rabid when you see someone wearing a 'Viva La Reagan Revolution' shirt.

You watch M*A*S*H reruns on TV

You recycle

You listen to Cat Stevens

You allow your armpit hair to grow

You like dandelions

You don't use credit cards

You don't drive a car

You plant a garden

You play a guitar

You like sex

eh, what do you mean by red?

Strongly left-wing and socialist.

Well, i am a total socialist.

Yeah, I saw your political compass score and have seen a few of your arguments on things. This thread is in effect making fun of a stereotype of people like you then.

Ah, i see. Have your fun, AG. I guess you have to have it some way.

Well, I didn't start the thread and haven't even participated. I find my own ways to have fun of course.

You sure like to antagonize people, don't you?

Have I even done anything to you? I have just explained the purpose of the thread to you. I mean, I guess you might take one thing I have said as slightly offensive, but it was barely a comment and certainly not an insult. If anything I have insulted the thread participants more so than those they attack.

You live in my hometown...San Francisco!