Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian (Evil Bible)

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10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."


3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

http://www.evilbible.com/Top_Ten_List.htm

One Nation Under God?
The latest NEWSWEEK Poll finds shifting American attitudes about religion and faith. Still, the U.S. remains a deeply religious land.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/192915?from=rss



Lady chimps will mate for meat
A savory meat dinner goes a long way, as in all the way, in the chimp world

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30108925/

It seem a bit hypocritical for a forum full of people -- who have a hard time dealing with society -- to bash another group of people who find comfort in a supreme being of some sort.

I find it hilarous.

I think I'll print this and show it to my christian friends

Not only are you trolling, but you're flaming a group that is essentially nonexistent here after they were (mostly) chased away last year.

I label this thread "epic fail."

I couldn't possibly be the only one who objects to the most narrow minded, ignorant, and intolerant people connected with a belief system hijacking the word "fundamentalist" and everybody just going along with it.

The Romans carried out the execution of Jesus, but the Romans were only concerned about making sure the taxes got paid and rebellions got suppressed. They weren't interested in religious issues among the people in the countries they occupied, especially a nutty nation like Israel.

The people who wanted Jesus dead would have been comfortable calling themselves fundamentalists.

I don't know much about Islam, so I won't comment.

But that interpretation of the term "fundamentalist" seems to be here to stay, so I guess if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

So here we go...

Top Ten Signs You're a Secular Fundamentalist:

10. You take great pride in being an independent thinker and you agree with whatever ideas are currently fashionable.

9. You're happy to engage in lively debate with people who disagree with your conclusions, but you cannot comprehend how anybody could question your assumptions.

8. You recognize that the human brain has gotten smaller over the last forty thousand years, but you're certain that everybody who lived in the human past is dumber than you.

7. You strongly support the rights of disabled people, gay people, and other minorities, but none of your friends is autistic.

6. You use the behavior of the most fanatical monotheists to discredit monotheism, but you dismiss as irrelevant the murder of millions of innocent people by an atheist based ideology because all atheists aren't the same.

5. You're deeply interested in the ancient traditions of everybody but the Jews.

4. You're absolutely certain that technology can solve any problem that technology creates.

3. You have a cell phone that takes pictures and you're richer than 99 percent of the world's population, so you're convinced that technology is making the world a better place.

2. Things like crime and suicide in society never make you wonder if something important might be missing.

1. You've never talked to your next door neighbors, but you're convinced you know how to build a society where human life has more value.

ouch

...and you complain that you're gettin' killed on taxes.

Label it what you want, I think it is a very succinct description of people that believe the Bible. As to no fundies being on this forum have a look around 3 come immediately to mind.

True, although few atheists here keep doing that, to mock and rant about Christianity.


Well, I do find the quote and the site or similar sites interesting , although their arguments are very questionable and biased, but still interesting.


Anyway, I'd like to try this..........

That isn't that much different from denying other positions that differ from your own position and feeling outraged by someone denying yours, whatever that is, besides, the issue is about false gods vs the true God. Exodus 20:3,4, Deuteronomy 32:17, 21


The issue here is that of the belief that the human species to be above the animal kingdom, a special place in creation, above everything else, being carefully and "artistically" designed, sort of speak, with more physical involvment from his part rather than just a verbal command, from the dust of the earth, and being that the state man ends up after dying.


The issue could be of three manifestations or personifications of one entity or part of the omnipresence, although I actually see a conflict with it the Holy Trinity regarding monotheism and politheism.


But that's the Old Testament god! Though I didn't do that good there, did I?


It wouldn't necessarily mean that the Holy Spirit had sexual intercourse with Mary wether being missionary, doggy or whatever position, but more like intrauterine insemination.


The issue is that the belief is that they were not guessing but were divinitely inspired and given that the genealogy in the Bible would have come from the word of God, and the Bible being the word of God, would be the truth wether people question it or not. And yes, finding loopholes in evolution doesn't seem scientific though probably staying out of science and stick with purely metaphysics to be the best.


Probably the concept of tolerant and loving would differ from this perspective, in which it would be more about letting people exercise their free will, and people choosing the right path by choice not cohercion, at least physical.


That's because science could be considered a human construct, therefore limited to human imperfections and that God goes beyond human experimentation, science, given that this is related to metaphysics rather than the observable natural world by man.


Yes, it could be just his will or it could be either the lack of faith from the prayer or wether that preyer deserved to be answered or not.


That doesn't seem to do much for the believer, considering that it is already said that there will be those who would hear or read to word but reject it, and I don't think that very aspect would or should provide any valid proof to support such argument wether one have more knowledge about it than the opponent other than who would debate better , I mean, a christian may know about evolution more than an atheist would and still reject it.

And how do you figure that God could not also be considered a human construct, therefore limited to human imperfections?

No, it's a crappy strawman that only describes a very tiny group of fringe lunatics. What fundies are on this forum? Not a whole ton, and for the most part any time one open their mouth they get flamed into oblivion.

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours. I do wonder if God is more than just one. I do think a higher power may exist but I don't believe religion has anything to do with him/her/them.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt. Can't really say for sure either way but why does it matter where we come from?

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God. What the f**k is a Triune God?

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees! Good point.

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky. If I were a god, I would have nailed every woman on the planet.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old. There may be loopholes and there may not be. Man may never know.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving." The religion I believe in (which I formed myself) is merely a belief, no consequences.

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity. It is a little bit hypocritical isn't it? This is one of the reasons why I don't buy into religion anymore.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God. I don't even consider 50% a high success rate.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian. I don't know a lot about the bible but I don't call myself a Christian. I'm merely a thinker. My own beliefs are based on my own theories which I think are more credible than what Christians say.

Oh, and one more thing that I thought about as I typed this post: I do not deserve to go to Hell and neither does anyone else yet all Christians say that everybody does, even themselves. Kind of mean doncha think?

Here are my responses to these top 10.

10 is semi-fair, a major issue though is that a number of arguments used are arguments for the existence of A god, but not the specific Christian God, so there would be more incredulity to atheists because of this and that deserves to be mentioned.

9 is unfair because the creation of man under Christianity is purposive and also directly through the hand of God. Now, that seems to make man more important than if he were just a random creation by evolution, as God specifically chose to create man.

8 does not seem to say much. Christians think a confusing thing about their single god, ergo it is terrible to think negatively about an assumption of multiple gods? The single god of Christianity is more similar to monotheism than polytheism by far(polytheism often has dissents among gods), so I don't see the issue.

7 is pretty valid, Christians are unfair about this.

6 is fair, however, to be just to all sides, we all think our worldviews are reasonable, and that everyone else has an absurd view. Outsiders criticize naturalistic worldviews for believing that people descended from ape creatures in a universe that is perfect for life for no apparent reason, where morals, such as the wrongness of rape, just emerge from this descendence and that has no beginning/origin.

5 is a fair-seeming epistemic issue.

4 is somewhat fair.

3 is only true for Pentacostals, many Christians would not uphold such an idea.

2 is somewhat fair, however, often strange coincidences are what is searched for, and those things can be hard to consider uncaused.

1 is not necessarily true, as many Christian fundamentalists are very knowledgeable about the Bible, and I would bet that fundamentalists are more likely to have a strong knowledge about the Bible and various elements of church history, as it is a more common topic among their circles. Probably better than many atheists/agnostics.



10 is relatively fair, most of them are sheep.

9 fits for most people, we don't see our assumptions well.

8 Size does not equal intelligence, as there are many factors that are unrelated to IQ that relate to brain size, such as body size. As well, past human beings are often considered to not use their brains in manners that relate as well to IQ. For example, Neanderthals are often considered to have larger brains to deal with physical movement better. Not only that, but people in the past generally do not have the knowledge we have today, so distrusting them seems valid as every subject has advanced since past ages.

7 Autistic people aren't *that* common, and they are somewhat hard to befriend due to their specialized interests and their greater social issues compared to other groups.

6 isn't entirely valid, because most monotheistic religions claim to positively improve their followers, and often have a need to be somewhat dogmatic. It is partially unfair of course, especially the claim that religion is the cause of all wars.

5 There are secular Jews. Not only that, but a lot of secularists care more about science and the virtues of Enlightenment rationalism more so than other cultures. Not only that, but there are some secular people who research topics that relate to Judaism.

4 The belief in technology promotes technological development, not only that, but there is no theoretical reason why a lot of the problems created by technology can be solved by technology. Overall though, technology solves more problems than it creates, at least in the minds of most, except for perhaps primitivists.

3 Umm.... the two claims have no relationship. Poor nations are poor because they have weak, underdeveloped economies. Technology actually HELPS them because it allows us to trade with them for more goods, allowing their economies to get stronger. Not only that, but if you agree with 4, then 3 is a no brainer, because of the good things done by technology to this part of the world(and to a part of the world that most people hope/expect to grow). You might contest this point about growth, but I think that most economists expect for growth to occur.

2 Missing from what? If 6 is true, and monotheistic religions do not make things better, then what would be missing? It is not as if crime has been growing, but rather some scholars argue that it has been decreasing over time, which is a point made by psychologist Steven Pinker in a TED talk http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/stev ... lence.html In any case, officially condoned suicide has likely also decreased as well, so really, the point that would seem valid from an atheist view is that humanity carries fundamental flaws.

1 Isn't everyone convinced they know what is best?
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My conclusion is that the first list is better, as even though some of the arguments on both lists are flawed. The first list has much less points that I consider terribly flawed. In defense of the 2nd, it looks like it might be a private attempt, and the group might be less specified, however, I cannot consider it the equal of the first list.

In any case, I consider this kind of list-making to be childish, as both lists had things that I considered to be wrong, and this wrongness presented as pure fact is questionable.