Why Not Fight Back?

Post Reply New Topic

When I was about eight, I joined a new school, and a boy who was well-known there as a bully (he was small, but fairly vicious) tried to intimidate me. I was offended, ended up getting into a completely unfair fight with him (I didn't know there were rules, so I bit, pinched, punched him where I shouldn't have, etc). I don't remember clearly what happened at the end, but I think we eneded up at a stalemate (or I won, depending on how you look at it - I think I just kept attacking him until he backed off) and for the rest of my time at that school he was usually quite civil to me. Another girl pushed me into some coat pegs, so I responded by pushing her into the coat pegs the next morning. We ended up mutually respecting each other, and she was even kind to me a few months later when I was having a bad day. Most of my anti-bullying strategy was just to avoid people who I disliked or who I thought were dangerous, though, although I realise that isn't always possible.

I used to not fight back but now I do. Before school let out I took down 5 boys at once. While the teachers aide cheered me on. Not bad for a girl huh?
I also carry around my little friend "Mr.Bat" or my "Dealing with stick" it's a mini slugger but it packs a punch and I only use it in a serious emegency or for scare when I pull it out of my pocket from under my shirt I say "Say hello to my little friend "Mr.Bat".

I've always wanted to follow Roosevelt's advice: speak softly, and carry a big stick. The only problem is, if I speak softly, I won't get into any fights. But I could always give 'em a nice Thwaping for saying "what?" too many times...

I did fight back. All the time. Every time. Ever since 3rd grade. Problem was, since the school had the dumbass policy that as soon as a victim of bullying makes a move to defend themselves, then it's a "fight" which means that both get punished. I ended up fighting back anyway, knowing I'd get in trouble, just to know that THEY'D get in trouble, too, since the school would just find a way to turn the blame on me anyway.

Unfortunately, fighting back didn't always work. When I was in 7th grade, for example, four or five boys would start beating me up, and a bunch of people would just watch a girl get brutalized by a crowd of ruthless boys. Sure, I fought back, gave them bruises and hurt them, but there were just too many of them to actually do anything about it, so I got more hurt than any individual bully. And when I reported it, the counselor said that those boys wouldn't gang up on a girl like that, so she got me in trouble for "attacking" them. She said another incident like that and she'd have to recommend psychiatric intervention to my parents.

At one of my old Elem. school's I got bullied.

School officials are like prison wardens; they know there's cruel stuff going on but as long as they don't see it with their own two eyes, they aren't going to do jack about it. Maybe you should've gotten testimonials from the people that saw you attempting to be the knight in shining armor; maybe the girl herself would be a good witness (as she sure didn't brutalize herself!).

I fought back. I got a $140 fine, 8 hours community service, and in a separate incident I got a $316 fine. I hate this zero-tolerance bs.

I agree wholeheartedly with what you're saying, but there has been a bit of confusion here...I WAS the girl. Sorry for making that unclear; I would've misunderstood it the same way. All the onlookers were laughing. No one was there but the offenders and the onlookers, as we were in a restricted area of the school, which no one is supposed to be at during lunch because there is no supervision. In fact, I got punished for that (being in an unsupervised place) as well, even though I hadn't willfully gone to the unsupervised area, but was forced to by their pushing me and kicking me so I could scarcely walk.

Reminds me somewhat of the time when I was in the locker cage (the lockers were enclosed in fences with locks to prevent people from accessing them except during the window of the first and last ten minutes of lunchtime). I had entered the lockers late, as I always did so as to avoid getting hit or kicked or tripped and having no way to defend myself in that crowded space, and I had a seizure as I was getting my supplies from my locker. The adult who locks the fence doors locked them on me, and when I came to, and shouted at the guy who was walking away and would soon be out of earshot to open the door, some kids who had been watching the whole time were just pointing and laughing, and the adult joined in, apparently thinking it was a riot. He refused to admit that he was laughing at me (and more vigorously protested that he'd been laughing about my medical problem) when I told the counselor about it; he insisted he was laughing at himself for locking me out. But I knew differently. I heard him laugh specifically at the other kid's comments about me falling, and convulsing.

My counselor consistently dismissed the idea that she needed to discipline the boys when they did s*** like this, telling me that since I looked weird to them (she referenced both AS traits and my seizures), that I had to expect this kind of treatment and that it was part of "growing up" and that if I couldn't deal with reality that I needed professional help. And sure, I did need a mental health professional, two actually--one to treat my counselor, and one to help me cope with her irrational cruelty!

I cant fight back. If I try I get laughed at. I haven't got the body language as everyone who knows me in school sees me as a joker and can't take me seriously.

When I was in Kindergarten when my social skills were horrible. I was bullied because of my weight. I didn't do anything about it. I was treated like a rooky. I will remember that.

Last edited by Captain_Brown on 16 Aug 2006, 2:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I meant to say at two of my Elementary Schools I was bullied. In Kindergarten and 4th grade.

Fighting back would not get me in trouble with my mother, but I would be in trouble with the school.

There are some people that are stupid like that. I think deep down in her heart she wouldn't do that to you. Maybe it is some stupid rule the school board has.

i didnt really get bullied much when i was at school (i left like 3 months ago o_0) but on the rare ocasions i did i just fought back i can be a pretty aggressive person if provoked, but the cool thing was, despite my near-total social isolation and hate of the crowds at school etc, i was still pretty much 'liked' if not a bit misunderstood. i had a small group of friends who would always defend me if i needed it, but the only people who ever really had a problem with me were the typical, overweight, tall, semi-sentient beings of pure hate who nobody else liked anyway.

And i seriously cant believe that, four guys beating up a girl? at ur/their age? and u getting accused of attacking them? maybe im just naive but that just makes me sick. imho thats just plain wrong. any bullying of any form is wrong, but maybe this is just the "macho" in me but that just seems plain evil. im suprised no-one stepped in and beat the c**p outta those boys, i certainly wouldave.

alot of people think fighting back is wrong, but tbh i think its the best option, it shows u cant just be walked over. most bullies are just cowards anyway and cant stomach anyone who fights back. however if fighting back is dangerous (ie like one of them is a 6'6 bruiser o.o) then its best to try and run or just avoid those people. i think there needs to be more support for anti bullying in schools.

I always fought back. Worse than the person before me.

Normally, not many people bother me. I don't have AS as bad as some (and im not bragging, i am grateful for this), and i can act normal most of the time. Most people i know are my friends, or a 'neutral' that doesn't consider me a friend, but doesn't pick on me either (some do, but they mean it in jest and i take it in stride.). For the few that do hate me, i simply turn my nose up at verbal insults and walk away in a highly sophisticated manner.

As for physical abuse, no person at my school would dare lay a hand on me, for it would give me a grand excuse to unleash my secret and most powerful ninjutsu...