scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

Post Reply New Topic

+2

Better now from illness, slept very well for about 12 hours, but completely stressed out, no money, have to fake papers to get new money, but there is no other way. Want to move out, but have to find new place, no one answers me who i wrote, feeling lost again, no place is home, anything gets one worse, nothing comes to an end, never ending journey to darkness....

Feeling like got insane the last 6 weeks, i am completly burned out and the smallest piece of social interaction where i get not understood brings feelings up to just bet them in their faces until they falling to the ground, fukcing apes.

-6 Now

I just drinked coffee since 6 hours, was surfing along things, put things on ebay and searched for enduro travelling bikes, which I got stucked on for about 3-4 hours. Cause I really want a transport thing and with that motorbikes you can also go offroad if necessary, they are also more healthy for my back than choopers would and are very rockstable.
Found the Honda XL 600 Transalp and consorts and also the Suzuki BIG 750, but the Honda does not need so much fuel, about 2l less on 100km.

Unfortunatly I don't have the 2000€ or even a paper which allows me to drive this thing legally, but I don't see that as a big problem, many people are driving for decades without papers.

So I mostly feel like in a timebubble again, it's mostly dark now again, I did do nothing to get money and now hungry again, think I will eat a Paella now and then have really to do a f*****g nightshift to get my things done and my brain right

-3.14
I slept in all the way until 6pm, so I wasted most of my weekend.

+3. Reasonably okay, illnesses mostly in check and my day has gone well though I am kinda bored.

mee three. slept from 9A to 4P today, after spending most of the night tinkering with my audio system and belatedly, when i finally put it all back together, listening to a bunch of music in a cram session.

0

I have a cold and my brain feels like soup.

Unknown.

The inner work says 'exhausted, numbed and empty'. It's this cycle, I think. Part of me is impatient, part of me says be patient.
Yet the body inner work says 'content, happy and bored'. Yeah, the reward system kicking in or so.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

1. it's raining and i hafta force meself to go out in it.

Doc should have invented an umbrella-like gadget by now

+5

Feeling like maybe, just maybe, I can get myself to the point that I can live on my own, except for transportation. With my memory issues, I don't know if I even should be trying to drive - I might be an unsafe driver due to lapses of memory even if I can get to the point where I can get a license (and afford a car). But then I remembered that some places offer transportation services for the disabled, and I'm pretty sure I'd qualify for that. It would be $5 or so a ride and there might be stops along the way to pick up/drop off other people, and I'd have to schedule 2 days or more in advance. But I don't get out much and don't plan on changing that anytime soon, so would probably mostly just have weekly grocery runs or something. Cheaper than Uber, and I'd set a schedule for myself so one day a week was shopping day. In other words, it feels very doable. So, I feel more like living on my own might be achievable, which makes me happy.