Rants

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^Be careful what you wish for

I'm past wishing for things.
I'm telling the universe straight.

It frustrates me when some people give up trying, because they can't win. You don't need to win. You just need to try!

between diversity warriors and diagnosis proselytists...(the hand at the purse)..owhell,
think... there might be a risk to diagnose, certainly for small people who could pass eventually, the lure of 'free' benefits, watch that, there's no for 'free', its a bribe, in a way
the old guidelines of routines and discipline(<for parent mostly) and clear rules, for any those who functions reasonably
no society in your home before school, and then that's worse enough as it is

it's a decieving world, and the succesfull liars make the rules, and your desires too

(mutilation for profit, that's old practice of beggars, still now, also luxury versions available)

Statistically, I can only get knocked down so many times in total. I don't know the exact number, of course, and I'd hate to not get back up if it was going to be the last one.

I hate doing stupid stuff that will knock me down. If I keep messing myself up, I will never achieve what I set out to do. I wish I could somehow rewire my brain so I can stop doing dumb stuff that hinders my full growth as a person.

[/quote

I'm repeating this mantra. No reason to let my own biology kill me.

My parents just don't think I'm worth it. They think I'm an entitled millennial and mentally ill to boot and therefore I'm not worth it.

^
Well, I think that you are worth it.

Last edited by Lillikoi on 12 Aug 2017, 5:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

On an unrelated note, hey! It's Hong Kong Phooey!

I used to love that show.

Trying not to get jealous of people who have friends.

It seems like every person I have known who is "lonely" or is an outcast eventually moves on and has a happy life and makes tons of other friends. I don't want to be jealous of that, I should feel happy for them, but I can't stop that feeling.

I feel kind of selfish for thinking that way. I just want attention.

I feel like I'm becoming more and more like [name redacted], some selfish, attention-seeking person who is just looking for confirmation.

If we're being honest, sometimes I do act more clueless than I am because I think it looks "cute," and I just want to be seen as cute and funny and charming, but...

I think a lot of the mannerisms I've adopted are just because people would see them as quirky or distinctive.

I think a lot of the reason I try to be funny is because I used to try to defuse situations through humor, and that was the only way I would be able to make anyone happy...

I'm actually guilty of the same type of thing, except that I would try to present myself as being smarter then I really was because that was the only way I knew how to get people to notice me and like me.

One of my old elementary school friends thought me how to solve a Rubik's Cube once, and after some practice I got pretty fast at it. In elementary school it worked well to impress people but eventually more people learned to do it too and it became less impressive, so instead I tried everything I could to be the best at it by getting faster and by taking on different sized cubes. Currently I can solve a standard 3x3x3 cube in 55 seconds, a 2x2x2 in 20 seconds, and a 7x7x7 in 20 minutes.

Since my biggest special interest has always been space travel, I would also sometimes try to impress people with my knowledge about it because most people can't name all known dwarf planets off the top of their head or state facts about all 17 Apollo missions.

Interestingly, my character Michael Watt is loosely based on the person I pretended to be, and to make him less of a marry sue I included things like consequences for actions that were honestly selfish and short sighted on his part like the whole starting the Great Solar War thing. Much of Mike's backstory is based on daydreams I had as a kid that I re-imagined as an adult but with realistic consequences.