Rants

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The last few days have been a miserable nightmare.

Watched an absolutely wretched movie yesterday about the Boston Marathon bombing. They gave too much attention to the little twit boy, Dzokhar Tsarnev and none to the families of the victims trying to heal from that horrible tragedy. They should have played a rousing game of Bop It, Twist It, Pull It with that piece of garbage and thrown him in the trash can!

How come, Mr. Elbow?

The cold, wet, windy weather certainly didn't help. As for the rest of it, I try to keep my "dirty laundry" to myself.
Homeless. Been at a shelter for the last six months, which includes an unbelievable amount of drama. Zero personal space.
Can't really do any of the stuff that I do. Haven't been able to for quite a while. Can't play music, can't do martial arts, can't even focus enough to read here. It's been increasingly overwhelming and seems like there is no end in sight. Have been right on the edge of completely breaking down for quite a while.
It's rough.

I'm sorry, sir, that you're going through all this. Being homeless, I know, is no picnic. At least you still have a decency about you; therefore, you're strong.

You do write like you're pretty focused--more focused than me LOL

People, often, are their own worst critics.

Is there any family or friend in whose home u can take refuge??? This is heartbreaking

I've been patient for too long. I feel like nothing will ever change in my life, no matter how hard I try to fix things. I've ruined my own life, but I had a little help from two people I used to know. I shouldn't blame anybody but myself, but when you were abused for years in just about every way possible, it is almost impossible to undo that damage without help. I really need a job, for the money and to do something, and I don't know if I can wait until disability services finds me one. It's been taking a long time and I'm deteriorating mentally while I'm waiting. Everybody tells me to get out of the house more, but there is nothing I can do. The highlight of my week is going to the store. It's getting sad. I guess I just have to keep being patient, hopefully it will be worth it. I'm so behind my peers though and it kills me and makes my family miserable.

I feel so misunderstood. Whenever I attempt to talk about what is going on in my mind, people think I'm making things up or trying to get attention. It's not that. Truth is, I don't know what is real right now and what isn't. I'm trying to figure that out, but telling me that there is something wrong with me doesn't help.

I'm also tired of the constant comments about my looks. I know I'm not pretty or anything close, but I try to ignore my physical appearance and focus on my interests and my artwork, things that I actually have some control over.

Not really, no. Family is in Illinois and Florida. I can't really deal with Illinois, Florida, or family. Very few friends here, and none of them very close (I've been here for 11 years, and I really don't know anyone, didn't really start meeting people until I found myself without a place here). No one that I know is in a position to be able to help me out, really. And I don't think I'd want them to even if they could at this point. Just too much.

I'll be ok. I have at least found out what my problem is now. Things will come together, eventually. It's really hard to just wait and wait and wait, but I think it would be foolish to leave right now and have to start the whole process over again somewhere else (even less comfortable). And then I'd just want to be back here anyway.

Thank you for your concern.
And you too, kraftie.

I need to go to the doctor to get a mole on my face checked. I am scared about what they may find out.

Things are looking like they're about to go (even further) downhill fast. I feel like I'm about to hit a whole new level of rock bottom, and I'm a little worried.
I really, really wish that I could find my way out of this mess. Fast.
It's like a nightmare that won't stop and just keeps getting worse all the time with no end in sight.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I pray to the Goddess, hope you don't mind that.

Thank you.
And may peace be with you as well.

There has to be government services?? Go fund me you can create????

Some crazy idiot driver was speeding on the road and nearly hit me! I'm still trying to get my blood pressure down! My head is killing me.

You know, it's bad enough that my in-laws decided to bring lunch instead of dinner. But I am also being forced to spend time with my nephews and having to listen to the younger one scream his head off. Why? Because God is a sadistic bastard who can do whatever the f*** he wants!

ROUND TWO MOTHERF***ERS!!