Do I seem like a huge liar?

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I have a weird problem with people who don't know me, and a few who do.

I've been on an honesty kick for a while, and I think I keep getting better at it. First, I had to understand the nature of truth and facts and unknown things, and I feel like I have continuously improved my ability to discern what statements fall into which categories.

I experimented with new ways of saying things to improve factual accuracy, using logic, math, E-prime, and philosophy.

I examined my ethics, and my motives, and sought professional help to understand more and communicate better.

The problem persists, and it really gets on my nerves sometimes. What am I doing to make people imply or assume that I am a huge liar with a complex hidden agenda and confused but unkind motives, or some combination of those three.

Yes, I say some unusual things. I have some unusual ideas. They have an extensive conceptual foundation, based on exploring the contradictions in standard assumptions.

Is this a defense mechanism against hearing someone suggest that contradictions exist?

Do people encounter so many huge liars with questionable motives that it just makes sense to put anything weird into that basket?

Am I somehow hypnotizing myself to think that the point of my life is to make things better where possible, for my own enjoyment and that of all other stakeholders? If I had some selfish, evil goals of which I was unaware, there's not much evidence that I've made progress toward achieving them. The rotten way I treated people when I was being bullied as a teenager bothers me still.

I may simply be overemphasizing people's negative opinions. Come to think of it, lots of random strangers leave me smiling. People constantly call the things I say interesting and thought-provoking, and I get a lot of agreement.

The top answer in this thread is that I not only notice and care more about the negative comments, but seek out more interaction with those people. Reframed from that perspective, I've learned a lot about a subset of people, and something important about myself.

I could have chosen to spend my time and energy deepening my connections with people who find me interesting and appealing, but I have sought to prolong my interactions with people who criticize me unfairly. It makes sense to engage in this periodically, forever. I get faster at devils advocating myself for fairness using their criticism. It made sense to test my ideas as they developed by trying to communicate them under the most difficult circumstances. However, focusing on them has left me feeling alienated. Focusing on other people should produce different results. I'll just have to get as comfortable with compliments as I have been with criticism, and perhaps twice as discerning.

I don't even need to ascribe any hostility or bad intent to the people who can't accept my veracity. Who knows why, and the opportunity cost of pursuing an answer seems high. I have conclusively demonstrated nothing, but I have clarified the way forward.

How much positive agreement can I create with people who admire my ideas? It seems plausible that I've even drawn out the critical sides of people with my preference for argument over accolades. Now that I've noticed what I've been doing, I can see my way clear to replacing some boring routines with more interesting routines.

I guess I've answered my own question, really. I'll leave this here as a record of a turning point.

Edit, of course. I forgot to mention politeness. I try to take that into consideration, and to heck with anyone who assumed that I don't.

If this is to do with that PM - I have a lot on my mind, and can't give my full attention to people. Maybe others have a lot on their minds too.

Wow.

No, this was not about you.

That does suggest an explanation, but it seems temptingly convenient. I have noticed how lots of people will lie about the simplest things in order to make themselves look good. I've even noticed people lying about things which already made them look good, in order to make themselves look even better.

As often I have benefitted from fair criticism, even when I found it difficult to process, I have to acknowledge the existence of useless criticsm. This subset of criticism, which has no overlap with my intent or self perception or the perception of people who love me. goes into the useless basket for now. I probably can't eliminate all curiosity about the nature of the people who deliver it, though.

It is kind of a novel idea, that liars accuse me of lying. I don't easily decide to call someone out as a liar, but there's no reason to assume that everyone takes the same care in making that accusation.

If I see someone consistently misrepresenting observable facts, or consistently making promises that they don't keep, it lets me know if I should trust what they say. The scale is probably (0, 1) rather than [0, 1].

I also take into account if someone always has an exculpatory explanation for any disaster which involves them, or if an apology from them has no weight whatsoever. I guess I need to include some adjustment for the kind of things they say about other people. I do consider that when looking at someone's character, but now that I think about it, backbiting probably indicates dishonesty. Everyone has some enemies who are actually decent people, and someone who only has demonic enemies is almost certainly lying about them; I haven't met everyone, but I feel good making that assumption based on long experience of people.

Reading this again, I know what you mean and it's my pet hate about people. Thanks for brushing me aside as one of them. You obviously haven't seen my recent posts. Or know who I am.

Now that is interesting. I've watched another thread for a post which I never really expected to come. I actually do remember you from way back, although I have not read your recent posts. You can't be bothered to reply to a polite question, after you tried to frame it as me imposing my ethics on you which I did not. Now, you say you really hate what I described, and do it to me in the same sentence. Fantastic.

However, I still haven't concluded anything about you. You won't have to guess whether I have or not, when I actually do; I have autism, remember. Funny how we get irritated that other people can't accept our weird style of honesty and we often can't accept it from each other in a forum like this.

Reply, don't reply; hate, don't hate. All I get out of whatever you do is information, and I have no particular shortage of that. You're special, and so am I, and so is everyone. Sorry to hear people accuse you of stuff; I haven't, and you can go back and reread the precise words I wrote, because they are f*****g precise, okay?

Could it be that you think they think you're a huge liar, yet you are misreading them? I find people making faces after I've said something sometimes and I can't figure out why. Because of this situation I know I have deficiencies in communication. I don't know what they are thinking, but sometimes I will assume something bad. If I respond to the "bad" thing I thought they were thinking I find out I'm wrong and then feel like a big idiot.

But really, NT are the big liars. They lie with their faces and words and intentions. It's never made sense to me. I value honesty.

That happens too, but I'm referring to crystal clear implications in this case.

I'm referring to something equivalent to being hungry and angry, hangry, and saying something unpleasant, or acting like a whiny jerk, or any similar situation. I act out, showing a bad side of myself, and the other person jumps to the conclusion that that side is the real me, which I've been hiding all along. Or, I make some flippant argument using a deadpan, and then someone in an argument wants to treat that as the main issue.

Maybe the two are related, and the people who dissed me in this way just want me to go away? That's how it ends up, because I won't tolerate getting a lot of absurd criticism for very long. I'll give it due consideration, but that's all. It's kind of a rotten tactic, but effective in personal relationships if that's what it is. Cool your jets, lurkers, it won't work that way in online discussions.