Just want to vent - Guilt about dog

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I just want to vent about this. I was involved in an incident regarding my dog the other day and it's opened up some old emotional wounds.

My dog is from a rescue shelter. He has had some major behavioural issues when we first got him, so much so that my family and I (who are well experienced with his breed) seriously considered sending him back. After lots of hard work, he's improved massively, enough that I can trust him off lead when playing with other dogs in the park. Or at least, I thought so.

One day I took him out and there was a bunch of dogs playing in the park who he was friendly with and eventually I decided he could play for a bit. He seemed to play very well with them and even the children that were also around. That was until a girl (maybe about 10 or 11 years old) ran towards my dog and he was so excited he kept jumping at her and trying to nip her. Of course, she was terrified and started screaming and running, which just made her look like prey and made my dog more excited. I tried to stop him but I thinks i added fuel to the fire because I was shouting at him. He calmed down after her (aunt?) got her and I was very upset that I couldn't recall him during that.

The other dog owners were very understanding but I was really freaked out incase the girl was injured. So one of her neighbours helped me find the house where she stayed so I could apologise in person. Naturally, the mother was very upset. I don't think it was so much the physical harm that was the issue (he left a small bruise and didn't break the skin). I think it was the psychological harm of the incident and how she was actually scared of her own dog after what happened. Gladly she seemed a lot calmer when I was there and she was fine around her dog but I was ashamed that it ever got that bad to begin with. I couldn't have asked for a better outcome, honestly, because the family were quite fair despite obviously being very upset.

Since then I have been feeling immense shame about what happened, not only for what happened to the girl but also how my lack of judgement could have put my own dog in danger. It's starting to unravel a lot of feelings from the past, such as when my previous dog died and I felt like he didn't get to die with dignity. Plus, we had no idea what was making him sick so for an entire month he was suffering and deteriorating. We only discovered it was cancer after he suffered from severe internal bleeding. So basically he bled out, urinated on himself, had to be carried in a blanket (which he rolled out of at one point) and taken to a place he was afraid of, that being the vet. I feel like I should have been better prepared but I wasn't and he had to suffer needlessly.

My new dog is still very young and is an otherwise good dog who still has more training to do. I worry about what would have happened if he just nipped a bit too hard and she needed stitches. He would, without a doubt, have been declared a dangerous dog and seized by the police to be destroyed. A dog that's just a puppy, still. My carelessness could have put two lives at risk and I don't know how I could forgive myself if that ever happened.

I know that my feelings are a good sign. If I didn't feel guilty or upset about this I shouldn't have a dog. I can take solace in the fact that I do care so deeply and am determined to make sure it doesn't happen again.

I know that it's weird to non pet owners to be so hung up over a dog but dogs are just very special to me. The grief from losing a dog feels exactly the same to me as losing a person. That and my dog deserves a good life after all that he's been through in his early puppyhood.

Anyway, that's me done venting. I feel a bit better having put those feelings into words.

It's good to bring out your feelings.

Don't beat yourself up over this, though. It is fortunate that your dog didn't break the child's skin.

you did nothing reprehensible. People make mistakes all the time, and learn from them.

The main thing is to learn from this and realize that it's often necessary to put your dog back on the lead whenever you think there may be a situation that could get out of hand like this.

Don't rely on just calling the dog back from an excitable situation, especially if you know the dog's training is not fully complete to the extent that it will always obey. Even a well trained dog may not obey a command.

In my local parklands there is a lot of conflict between dog owners who want their dogs to run free, and other park users with small children, people wanting to have a picnic, and also, the wildlife; we've had swans killed on a regular basis despite by-laws about control of dogs.

Part of the responsibility of owning a dog is to judge a situation and when in doubt always put the dog back on the lead and under your control again.

About the passing of your other dog -- please don't feel bad about the way things happened. Many pets don't seem all that sick as they do try to hide illness; it's an ingrained survival instinct. Even the most caring and vigilant owners can overlook how serious something might be.

Many pets have to be taken to the vet and many pets fear the vet's office, but it's the best place to take care of whatever is happening or may have to be done. Try to think about how happy your dog was before the illness, and that the life lived was a well cared for one.

Then end of a pet's life in illness is never really without some mess and suffering, just as it is with humans. You did the best you could and the best most anyone manages to do, nothing to feel guilty about.

You had no idea how your dog would react in a situation like this,now you do.So you can concentrate on what needs to be done to nip any bad behavior in the bud in the future.You did the right thing visiting the family and explaining what happened.The majority of dog owners would understand.
I can understand your anxiety about the dog,sometimes dogs get seized for being aggressive.
Are there any kids you are familiar with that can help socialize your dog?Some dog breed tend to be more nippy that others,I have a corgi and sometimes she gets excited when playing and nips hard.She has never played with any kids,but I can imagine that she might nip a ankle or calf if they were running and she got excited.
I'm sorry about your old dog.