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Sarahsmith
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23 Sep 2017, 7:44 pm

Its incredibly hard for me to socialize. Im sure others here can relate. Ive had troubles with people in the past. People were too rough on me and didnt listen to me. There are a few connections I may have left. I dont know if its worth the risk. One of them I wont ever talk to again ( probably not anyway) he would physically grab me and push me around because he didnt want me in his apartment. The other one has high expectations in expecting me to be completely normal. He got frustrated by my setbacks and would b***h about them alot. He was kind of all about himself because of immaturity. The other one was easy to get along with but kind of the weird lonely bachelor type. He wanted me to hang out with him ALL THE TIME. Which is difficult for someone that has a hard time functioning.

I went to a community support thing a few times but hated it. It starts to early in the morning. They were really roudy and all seemed to be in a tight circle of knowing each other. They were gonna play board games which I hate. At this point it is hard to make new friends because Im in my 30's and dont work. Im going to get some therapy to stay grounded. The only thing I hate is how they try to push you to work. I cant work the way I am. Im to slow and have severe anxiety.

Should I put up with the problems of old friends or just keep to my self? I ended up in a mental hospital from hanging out with these people that gave me bad advise and were too rough. Actually they werent that bad it was just my poor mental state at the time. Its just they didnt help matters much.

Im bored and lonely and want to go to a concert sometime. I know people have to make compromizes and sacrifices for each other. Thats why I ask is it worth it?



the_phoenix
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23 Sep 2017, 8:26 pm

Hi Sarah,

Of the three people you mentioned, the first one sounded dangerous and the second one sounded mean. The third one who wanted you to hang around all the time ... was that the reason you consider him weird? Does your gut instinct tell you he's safe to be around, or do you feel like his constant neediness might turn into something dangerous? Of course you should stay away from people who give you bad advice or who are too rough.

If you are going to have any social connections at all, yes, that will involve compromise. And that said, everyone needs healthy boundaries, including you. You're right ... it's incredibly hard. When you find a real friend though, it's incredibly rewarding and yes it is worth it.



Sarahsmith
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23 Sep 2017, 9:06 pm

No I dont think the needy one was dangerouse. Yes I think he was a little weird for being so needy. The second one I mentioned wasnt really mean. He could be mean sometimes though. I might talk to these people sometimes but not nearly as much as I used to.



C2V
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24 Sep 2017, 4:36 am

I wouldn't bother keeping up those social connections from what you've described of them here. Doesn't read like they're the sort of people you need to be around.
Maybe the community support place just wasn't the right crowd for you? Maybe seek social interaction in a quieter crowd, maybe academically, in a course or class? I don't function socially either, so I find classes or interest groups are the way to go, as there is a topic which interests me and everyone else there so we have something to discus, there is a purpose (you're learning something) and an understandable structure.
You don't have to work to make friends. Really, many people in a workplace have nothing in common with each other, they're just there to make a paycheck. I'd go for interest groups, hopefully in an atmosphere where people are going to be more accepting and patient. :)


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Sarahsmith
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24 Sep 2017, 10:14 am

That is a brilliant idea!



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04 Oct 2017, 11:32 am

if in doubt leave it out.



sly279
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04 Oct 2017, 2:19 pm

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