Childhood stays with you for ever

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fifasy
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11 Oct 2017, 6:10 am

I moved around a lot as as kid, my parents wanted to. They argued all the time, a potential split was on the cards every week or two. Glasses both thrown at walls and smashed. There were regular shouting matches. They messed me up. It is s shame there are so many stupid people in the world. Now I have constant anxiety because in childhood I learnmned through them to never know what was around the corner and to never believe calm would last



Embla
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11 Oct 2017, 7:38 am

I too (as I guess most of us) had a pretty messed up childhood. But I like to look at the positive side of it. Sure, there was a bit of trauma, which has caused some implications later, such as depression and anxiety. But on the other hand, it has made me more capable to handle rough times as an adult. I often get to hear "I would've never survived going through what you have", and my answer is "Sure you would. I am alive, aren't I? If you've had the same experiences as me, you wouldn't think it was a big deal either. I'm just used to it, and you would be too if you were me".
My experiences may have caused a lot of trouble, but they made me strong too. Most of all, I became extremely independent at a very young age, which has been incredibly helpful in my life.

That sense of uncertainty always lurking behind a corner and knowing that things will always change, it can make me nervous, but also makes me appreciate whatever I have in the moment. Most people would say I have a crappy life, living in a caravan, making only a quarter of the minimum wage each month, a bunch of mental health problems. But I am enjoying this life. I am extremely grateful for having a roof over my head, and having some money to eat for.
I know things could get either better or worse from here, but they will definitely change.
If I were to worry about what might happen next, I would never be able to appreciate what I've got right now.


I know it sucks to hear "just look at the bright side" when you can't do it. But really, the more you try, the more you rewind the brain to focus on the right things.



fifasy
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11 Oct 2017, 2:57 pm

Embla wrote:
I too (as I guess most of us) had a pretty messed up childhood. But I like to look at the positive side of it. Sure, there was a bit of trauma, which has caused some implications later, such as depression and anxiety. But on the other hand, it has made me more capable to handle rough times as an adult. I often get to hear "I would've never survived going through what you have", and my answer is "Sure you would. I am alive, aren't I? If you've had the same experiences as me, you wouldn't think it was a big deal either. I'm just used to it, and you would be too if you were me".
My experiences may have caused a lot of trouble, but they made me strong too. Most of all, I became extremely independent at a very young age, which has been incredibly helpful in my life.

That sense of uncertainty always lurking behind a corner and knowing that things will always change, it can make me nervous, but also makes me appreciate whatever I have in the moment. Most people would say I have a crappy life, living in a caravan, making only a quarter of the minimum wage each month, a bunch of mental health problems. But I am enjoying this life. I am extremely grateful for having a roof over my head, and having some money to eat for.
I know things could get either better or worse from here, but they will definitely change.
If I were to worry about what might happen next, I would never be able to appreciate what I've got right now.


I know it sucks to hear "just look at the bright side" when you can't do it. But really, the more you try, the more you rewind the brain to focus on the right things.


I'm glad you are enjoying life. As for myself I am able to, to an extent, enjoy solitary pursuits at home like reading, cooking and learning the guitar. I am due to see a psychologist soon. Otherwise I have a project I am working on to eat only organic food to see how much my health will benefit from it. I have so far managed about 40-50% and do notice improvements in my body shape and ability to read and hold information. So I hold hope an all organic diet could possibly transform me.

I hope you enjoy your time in the caravan.



Embla
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11 Oct 2017, 8:16 pm

Hey, that seems really great! Being occupied helps me get rid of bad thoughts when I have them. At least forgetting them for a while.
I hope you get something good out of the psychologist.



magz
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12 Oct 2017, 10:40 am

My family wasn't disfunctional in any obvious way. Yet I know people with way more obviously messed-up childhood, who didn't develop such a trauma.
I saw this video here:
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/ ... -360-video
and I got furious. My family was all the right way, no addictions, no divorces, even no fights. But when the party got to the culminating point and I melted down in the chaos full of sounds and people, my mother would start shouting at me for misbehavior. And if she came to my room afterwards, she would only point out how rude it was and how egoistic I am to act like this and why I have no reason to be like I was.
Always.

Yeah, your childhood stays with you.


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Not a native English speaker, so please, forgive.


fifasy
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12 Oct 2017, 5:21 pm

Sorry to hear that magz. You seem a great individual. A lot of people stink. I once cut my face open using a knife after my mother and sister said horrible things to me on the phone. People just don't seem to care how much they hurt you sometimes.