My peers wouldn't talk to me!

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I'm a 21 year old girl with high functioning Autism. I don't really have any friends because of having Autism. Tonight, I went to a party with my parents, and the person hosting the party has a daughter my age. Their daughter doesn't have any special needs, but she's really nice and sweet! Well, the daughter invited her friends to the party, also my age. I tried to talk to them because I'd like to stop being lonely and make some friends, but they wouldn't acknowledge me! The host introduced me to their daughter, but after that, she and her friends completely excluded me from their conversations and wouldn't even acknowledge me. I was nothing but nice to them and I tried to talk to them and ask them questions about themselves, but they didn't listen to me one bit or answer any of my questions! Not only that, but they were acting super immature the entire time. I thought that if my parents had a friend with a daughter the same age, I would have a friend out of that. I'm extremely hurt! I just wanted to make some new friends and have a good time! I ended up spending time with their dog instead, who fully acknowledged me. I TRIED to be social, but they didn't bother to be social back! They were all laughing and having fun with each other but completely ignored me when I tried to hang out with them! I definitely agree that my social skills aren't the best, but the NT's were just as bad because they purposely ignored me. Has the same thing ever happened to you when you tried to hang out with people? Should I ask my parents to stop being friends with the person who hosted that party? I don't want my parents to have friends who don't raise their kids right! Can someone here please make me feel better? Thank you!

So, you must've been like, in a living room or something surrounded by several people having a conversation, and you just get completely ignored?

That's just pathetic.

You should see if there's an autism support group in your area, or even a depression and anxiety group. I'm sure the people there will hear you loud and clear about what you're dealing with. Your situation may not be a problem NTs have, but it is a frustration you should let out.

And then people wonder why some Aspies have social anxiety. You try to mingle, act like everyone else, and you get ignored, which is a form of social rejection in my opinion. And NTs have empathy? It sounds like these people weren't even aware of your feelings at all. I mean, how would they like it if one of them were ignored in a group?

That sucks, those peers are straight up rude people

It's too bad, but that happens often, and not just to autistic people. Maybe you can try to talk to that girl again one on one? Many people are more open to making new friends when their old ones aren't around.

You definitely shouldn't ask your parents to ditch their friends because of this. They might very well have done their best raising their child but, the thing is, 21 is no longer a child. Their daughter is an adult and if she behaves badly it's on her, not her parents. Lots of people go against their parents' teachings. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not.

People exclude me from their conversations too. And I feel left out

I would just walk away from those idiot sort of ape's and say them in their faces that they are rude, immature and not worth to spent any time with them.

You can look out for older pals, they are more mature and listen better.

No advice, just empathy. It just starting this year for my 8yo daughter. She plays well (enough) with a friend, but when the friend's friends come, my daughter goes her own way or is excluded. Just last weekend at a birthday party the other girls all got in a room and locked her out. Given I am on the outskirts of social groups myself, I got nothing, so I read... https://www.verywellfamily.com/help-you ... zed-460790

It does suck that they didn't talk to you but, at the same time there could be a reason why. OP from what I got from your post alone was that you came off overbearing, entitled and highly judgemental.

You come across as overbearing cause you started talking to them and not paying attention to their body language or anything and kept going even when they were saying "No".

You come across as entitled because you feel they should acknowledge and include you cause you were nice and wanted friends(from your perspective). No one has to talk to you if they don't want to or include you in their conversations, people have a right to choose who they want as friends.

You come across as Judgemental(and this is the BIG one) because you called them immature and said that you don't want your parents to have friends with people that can't raise their kids right(speaking of which who are you to say how one should raise their kids?) Also your parents can be friends with whoever they choose whether you like it or not, you are an adult and if you can't handle their friends that would be your problem not theirs!

I'm not saying that they weren't rude or anything and you seem to be a nice person and want to do the right things but, from that one post you didn't come off so nice yourself and was also pretty immature(just like you called them). I think it would help you to do some self-reflection and possibly get services for training in social skills and reading body language.

Side note: I noticed that a lot of your posts start with "I'm a (x) year old girl with autism" then you mention the problem and say it's because of autism.

1. You don't have to start every post with "I'm a (x) year old girl with autism" you don't have to mention your age or that you have autism at all. You have the right to withhold that information and it's not really anyone's business.

2. Those things don't happen because of autism, autism is a label given to you based on the way your brain functions. The way you word your issues, people might assume you use autism as an excuse. It's best to just state the issue without the label altogether to avoid that problem.

The OP is probably feeling confused because why didn't they want to be her friend? If you meet someone and meet their friends and have to share the same space as them at a party, and you're all the same age, why not try to get to know them more? That's how you make friends. That's what you're supposed to do at parties. Why would these people greet the OP, then ignore her and expect her to go and sit on her own for the rest of the night? They could have at least been more polite and maybe got to know her by including her in the conversation. Why is it always that when an Aspie posts here about an unpleasant social event, the answer often implies that it's the Aspie's fault and the NTs are the poor victims? What if the boot had been on the other foot? What if the OP wrote a post saying she was introduced to a new person at a party but for some reason didn't want to know and ignored her for the rest of the party when she was trying to make friends with her and her friends? Then the replies would be different: "That is rude of you to blatantly ignore someone who was trying to be friends with you", "how do you think she felt?", "you could have given her a chance, especially if she was shy", and so on.

Also, when you say the OP was judging them, she was only stating her opinion about them to the readers in this thread. It's not like she was letting them know what she thought of them. In fact she was being rather open-minded by trying to make friends with these people. I think it was rather brave of her actually. It was good that she was trying to be social at a party. What else does one do at a party?