Hope and Healing in The Forum

Post Reply New Topic

I don't know if my life has grown "easier" with age (not an elder, but I'm trying ), but it has become... different. I remember high school and the girls asking me on a date, and laughing. I wasn't bullied badly, but was bullied some. People yelling out "geek" or "nerd". On my own, I had difficulities with land-lords (gave one a heart-attack ), city hall, even the police. I despaired of ever finding love or even getting laid. Until I met my wife. There were many times I despaired of ever being able to make her happy or for us to be able to discuss our issues without yelling at each other. I was always waiting for the day that she would have the self-confidence to leave me. Now I'm alone again. Have I gone full circle?

No. I have a better idea who I am now. And I will continue to strive to not only learn who I am as well as possible, but to ACCEPT who I am.

I still get rude looks. People call me "jerk". I have issues with the mortgage company, city-hall, and even the police. I have arguements with my boss (thank God for a boss I can argue with, though!!) I look around and see NT's going about their business, and they seem blissfully unaware. But I also have the wisdom to look around and see both NT's and Aspies, and all manner of other people, some good, some not, just trying the best they can. And for once, that's what I will do. Try the best I can, and be whoever it is I am.

Right now, I am no happier than I was fifteen years ago. But I do feel better about myself than I have in my entire life, and that is a real start.

Now if I could just get laid

The Wrong Planet psychotherapy chaise lounge........

For us, this forum topic

I am glad I found this topic still alive. There is a similar substance abuse form started by Quatermass that I think is till unravelling (opening up). So many new posters/members are depressed and I feel bad for all of them. Yes I do have empathy with others. Afeter all, I am a mother and I have pets. I am better at empathy now than I was when younger. I hope more young people post here, and I wish that there had been something like this when I was a kid.

As an aspie, I have learned that once you gain confidence and feel good about yourself, you will be a lot happier.

I now it's easier said than done though. I had to do those things in therapy myself. I also learned there is no shame in seeking help for yourself.

Tomorrow, my community support worker is going to help me learn better social skills. I dread it and look forward to it at the same time.

Anyone watching this anymore?

YES!! !! For GAWDS sake, I cant f*****g believe that no one is replying to the message that I posted here! Im feeling TRULY desperate like I havent felt in YEARS..........

[quote="D1nk0"][b]YES!! !! For GAWDS sake, I cant f***ing believe that no one is replying to the message that I posted here! Im feeling TRULY desperate like I havent felt in YEARS..........[/b][/quote]
Are you certain you posted it in this thread? I might have overlooked what you wrote, but maybe you could tell me what's going on. Apparently this topic has become our own private chat room. It started out as a hope and healing thread then turned into a discussion about the benefits of hope and healing, which was quickly forgotten. That post you answered was originally something I wrote when I was depressed, and no one answered it in at least a week. So I deleted it and wrote that question over it. This is why we have so many people who struggle with depression and other life issues posting so often. It's because no one seems to hear them, or they just get ignored.

So basically this is the one thread where people on WP aren't allowed to give each other s**t? Oooh, why did I not open this thread before or actually READ the first post rather than skimming it?

Hey Ana, don't mean to pry but likely almost no one on WP is reading this. I've been reading your posts on "Dear you, from me", and I also battle depression from time to time. No one I know of is very positive when they're depressed. I don't know if that's the "disability" your mother was referring to, but I haven't lived with my parents for a few years now. My Daddy and I used to argue constantly, and it drove Mom nuts. We get along better now. They always meant well. I can't say I know exactly what you're dealing with, but it will pass. Sorry if there really are people giving you sh** on this website. There are probably only a few of them. People on this site mostly keep to certain areas on the forums, from what I've noticed. But that is terrible.

Amanda

Sad truth is that there are some people on this site that give people a lot of sh*t. What makes it even worse is that this site is supposed to be a refuge from that kind of treatment. That's why I try to help anyone I can, though sometimes I don't know exactly how to help other than giving positive words.

[quote="Social_Fantom"]Sad truth is that there are some people on this site that give people a lot of sh*t. What makes it even worse is that this site is supposed to be a refuge from that kind of treatment. That's why I try to help anyone I can, though sometimes I don't know exactly how to help other than giving positive words.[/quote]
I'm glad there are some people here with open ears. Most of us have been hurt enough in real life, don't you think? I don't let the things that go on on the net affect my life, because hell I'll likely never meet the person that posts mean things anyway. They're half way across the country, or across the globe. Why worry about it? I had to realize that during that brief time I survived as a telemarketer. But I agree that it was designed as a refuge for those like us, and sometimes we really need to vent without being judged.

Well Ana, not being able to understand people isn't a disability no matter what she says. It sounds like an excuse. People are hard to understand because they often act without thinking. An example of a real disability would be blindness. I hate it when people try to turn any deviation into a disability. Maybe you haven't figured out what you want to do yet, but there's nothing wrong with that. Just take some time away from them. Don't let anyone pressure you, and you'll figure things out at your own pace.

Thanks.


She meant that since I was diagnosed with AS that MUST mean I can't read people or have more difficulty than most other humans in understanding people's intents or wants or needs or something.


I don't know what you mean by deviation... but I know exactly what you mean if you mean deviation as in difference. Blindness is a disability and even depression because it's a lack of something most people have. I didn't lack something most people have just by being AS; I also had good traits most people didn't have. And I don't think I even lacked anything most people have. And maybe I don't have good traits most people don't have either. Whatever.


I'm glad you at least think depression is a disability; that makes me feel relived for some reason. Because you understand that depressed people aren't just people who don't act grateful or something.