Growing up with aspergers

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Highly_Autistic
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12 Jul 2021, 1:24 pm

Doctors, people, therapists always talk about autistic kids, having a child with autism,etc... But what happens when people with aspergers grow up? They dont disappear of course, but nobody talks about autism in adults. I got diagnosed 10 years ago with "aspergers" and things dont seem to be get better. Now im 23 years old and living with parents, no job and no friends. I have also other mental disorders like anxiety and depression.

I mean, am i supposed to live like this forever? What do people with aspergers do when they grow up ? (How) did you start living independantly and gain confidence ?



Fnord
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12 Jul 2021, 1:32 pm

No matter what the problem is, society seems to expect the individual to deal with it on their own, starting on their 18th birthday (21st for women).  Anxiety?  Autism?  Depression?  Foster care?  Poverty?  Sexual abuse?  Once you become a legal adult, it becomes YOUR responsibility, and the System cannot wait to get rid of you.


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kraftiekortie
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12 Jul 2021, 2:26 pm

Depending on your location, there are "meetup groups" for adults with Aspergers and with autism.

Then, of course, you could meet people right here on WP. Talk about your hobbies, in addition to your struggles with Asperger's.



Joe90
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12 Jul 2021, 8:29 pm

I used to have support when I was aged between 18 and 23, but it didn't really help much.
I got my first job at 22, with the help from a family friend who got me the job because she worked there.
I met my boyfriend when I was 24 and being in a relationship seemed to have helped me mature and gain more confidence. I met him on the bus I used to get regularly to a volunteer job.
So basically I accomplished these things myself, with a little help from family and friends, rather than counseling and CBT and support groups.

These things take time to happen, but if you do some volunteering somewhere or something like that you may meet people and it may open new doors for you. You just have to be patient. You're still fairly young so there's still plenty of time to achieve these goals.

When I was aged between 18 and 24 I went through a stage where I was mentally ill; I hated myself, I was depressed more times than I was happy, I frequently had emotional outbursts, and I thought my life would never go anywhere, I thought I'd never meet a boyfriend, and before I got a job I thought I would never find a job. Now I've come a long way, and although I still have my moments with depression and anxiety, it's still not as bad as it was before and I still seem to cope better.
But I am high-functioning, and I'm actually capable of more than I think if I put my mind to it. I know some Aspies don't like people using functioning labels but...I am high-functioning, even a blind person could see that.


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13 Jul 2021, 1:19 am

I'd file for disability if you have have no job or any form of income and live in the US. Expect to be denied a bunch and expect to go to court, also document everything related to any and all medical conditions. Hire an attorney either now or after your first denial letter. I think its a good idea to be able to live as independently as possible. Your parents may not be around forever.

So to answer your question, adults with autism either live with family, are on disability or they work the best they can.



kraftiekortie
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13 Jul 2021, 9:34 am

He is in a country that is not far from Greece.



Earthbound_Alien
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14 Jul 2021, 11:22 pm

I am more autistic savannt...basically a child with an iq


recently I've developed schizophrenia at 45 years old

its trying to make me nt

prefer the autistic child...shes funny

people used to just see me as quirky

nt is strange



Earthbound_Alien
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14 Jul 2021, 11:24 pm

I don't like feeling nt

too boring and serious

they have stickks up their bums



Earthbound_Alien
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14 Jul 2021, 11:25 pm

plus their emotions work differently to mine

yack



idntonkw
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15 Jul 2021, 1:46 am

Highly_Autistic wrote:
Doctors, people, therapists always talk about autistic kids, having a child with autism,etc... But what happens when people with aspergers grow up? They dont disappear of course, but nobody talks about autism in adults. I got diagnosed 10 years ago with "aspergers" and things dont seem to be get better. Now im 23 years old and living with parents, no job and no friends. I have also other mental disorders like anxiety and depression.

I mean, am i supposed to live like this forever? What do people with aspergers do when they grow up ? (How) did you start living independantly and gain confidence ?


well it depends how low functioning you are, and given you wrote a coherent paragraph, you are probably intelligent enough for some sort of job. now.. what jobs are available around you? what jobs do your family and relatives and people you know do and people they know do? Read the book What Color is Your Parachute and follow the advice in the book step by step.



lostproperty
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15 Jul 2021, 1:10 pm

Highly_Autistic wrote:

I mean, am i supposed to live like this forever? What do people with aspergers do when they grow up ? (How) did you start living independantly and gain confidence ?



So long as you can feed yourself, you'll get by. There's people out there who aren't on the spectrum who can barely function due to addiction or other disorders that live on their own, never clean up, forget to pay bills and are generally a complete mess, but they survive and don't get evicted. You're probably not going to be able to maintain the standards that your parents set in terms of housekeeping but you might surprise yourself at how well you can manage if circumstances forced the issue.



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15 Jul 2021, 9:49 pm

Remember the fact that being on the spectrum is part of your essence.


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Earthbound_Alien
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16 Jul 2021, 1:21 am

Fnord wrote:
No matter what the problem is, society seems to expect the individual to deal with it on their own, starting on their 18th birthday (21st for women).  Anxiety?  Autism?  Depression?  Foster care?  Poverty?  Sexual abuse?  Once you become a legal adult, it becomes YOUR responsibility, and the System cannot wait to get rid of you.


yep

but I'm not going anywhere

I am ok with. being autistic