New US Law: "The Affordable Boat Act"

Post Reply New Topic

The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The affordable boat act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.

This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new laws ensures that every American can now have a "affordable" boat of their own, because everyone is "entitled" to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 "free" life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.

In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who cant afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then must purchase their own boat.

If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't). If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or cant afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one or face imprisonment.

Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert; ghettos; inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.

A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the port, starboard or stern of a boat) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories,(like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat.

Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so...its only fair. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt.

If the government can force you to buy health care, they can force you to buy a boat....or ANYTHING else..

Yeah ... it's that stupid...

Everybody has the right to a boat. Do you want poor people to drown?

Yes poor But I can buy a 50 dollar boat and survive too but the government felt that I need more I'm going to have to buy a yacht wen a canoe would have done the job. The rivers here are 10cm deep the yacht will sit in the front yard on blocks. As the government makes me pay for it out of my 15k a year I'll have to do with out luxury items to afford it like food. TY government BS Ideas!! !

You forgot to mention that those boats are required to be made out of cardboard.
Any boats with wooden, fiberglass, or steel hulls will be subject to a 90% luxury tax.

This would be so much simpler if the government would offer free boat service to everyone & funded it by raising the income tax alittle. That way the poor who could not afford their needed boats before wouldn't have to worry about drowning & only have to pay a small amount, the rich who would normally buy fancy yachts would be able to use em for free like the poor so they would no longer need to buy them & the money saved by not buying them would offset their extra tax some, & companies who provided boats would save money by not having to buy them for their fishermen so like the rich they wouldn't feel the increased tax as much.

I think the Affordable Care Act is far from perfect but it's still better than the system before where people who needed health insurance the most couldn't get it due to preexisting conditions & thus had their health get worse which caused them to become disabled & dependent on the government or social services to provide for their needs when it could of all been avoided if they were able to get their health treated because they would have less health issues limiting them with employment. There's LOTs of misinformation about the Affordable Care Act out there.

But what about those people who live in landlocked states, though, that are nowhere near any big lakes or oceans?

I was just told I can't keep my old boat?

Ass,

I give you the:

Militia Act of 1792,
Second Congress, Session I. Chapter XXVIII

...That every citizen, so enrolled and notified, shall, within six months thereafter, provide himself with a good musket or firelock, a sufficient bayonet and belt, two spare flints, and a knapsack, a pouch, with a box therein, to contain not less than twenty four cartridges, suited to the bore of his musket or firelock, each cartridge to contain a proper quantity of powder and ball; or with a good rifle, knapsack, shot-pouch, and powder-horn, twenty balls suited to the bore of his rifle, and a quarter of a pound of powder; and shall appear so armed, accoutred and provided, when called out to exercise or into service...



Anyway, everyone will need health care at some point in their life. But you can go your whole life without needing a boat. And the government is constitutionally required to "promote the general welfare". And ensuring affordable health care is part of that.

This is a joke, right?

A major rain storm or hurricane could come & flood them

A very political one, but yes.

Try looking up the Affordable Care Act. This is pretty much the description in a nutshell.

The government can draft you and send you to a war to die, and you think they can't make you buy insurance? What are you smoking?

I'm from Canada, and let me me just say this: It's a wonderful thing to be able to, say, go to the emergency room or, for example, get treated for cancer, without, you know, going bankrupt.

the OP's "humor" leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

i thought it was funny...too much politically correct talk these days for my taste...

i don't support bills that nobody read nor understood made by large corporations intending to make their pockets thicker...nor bills bullied into consent...nor bills that violate a persons freedom to choose a boat or health care plan...

no offonse blabby....just not my cup of tea...not on either of the sides...just from a libertarian stance...

Forced to use my boat, and be told how to use it.....

Non-internet based Piracy lifestyle here I come.

I will sink everyone elses boats.

This will not end well for anyone.